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YAJT: Hannah's kittens

G

Goth

Senior member
John Kerry is out jogging one morning and notices a little girl on the
corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the
little girl, Hannah, and says, "What's in the box, kid?"

Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."

John Kerry laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," says Little Hannah.

"Oh that's cute," he says and goes on his way.

A few days later, John Kerry is running with his buddy Ted Kennedy (so now
we know this is a joke and not a real story!!) and he spies Little Hannah
with her box just ahead. John Kerry says to Ted, "you gotta check this out,"
and they both jog over to little Hannah.

John Kerry says, "Look in the box, Teddy, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Teddy what kind of kittens they
are."

Little Hannah replies, "They're Republicans."

"Whoa!" John Kerry says, "I came by here the other day and you said they
were Democrats. What's up?"

"Well," Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open now."
 
Originally posted by: andylawcc
haha... cute.

the joke can work the other way around too
Click to expand...

no it can't. cuz anyone who opens up their eyes to what is happening would definetely be a rebulican.

Long Live Fox News!!!
 
Originally posted by: austin316
Originally posted by: andylawcc
haha... cute.

the joke can work the other way around too
Click to expand...

no it can't. cuz anyone who opens up their eyes to what is happening would definetely be a rebulican.

Long Live Fox News!!!
Click to expand...

You need glasses.
 
That's funny, considering that more educated people are more liberal, and here there be dragons crowd is more conservative.
 
John smith is out jogging one morning and notices a little girl on the
corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the
little girl, Hannah, and says, "What's in the box, kid?"

Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."

John smith laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"

"christians," says Little Hannah.

"Oh that's cute," he says and goes on his way.

A few days later, John Kerry is running with his buddy Ted from the bar(so now
we know this is a joke and not a real story!!) and he spies Little Hannah
with her box just ahead. John smith says to Ted, "you gotta check this out,"
and they both jog over to little Hannah.

John smith says, "Look in the box, Teddy, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Teddy what kind of kittens they
are."

Little Hannah replies, "They're Muslims."

"Whoa!" John smithsays, "I came by here the other day and you said they
were Christians. What's up?"

"Well," Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open now."
 
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
John smith is out jogging one morning and notices a little girl on the
corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the
little girl, Hannah, and says, "What's in the box, kid?"

Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."

John smith laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"

"christians," says Little Hannah.

"Oh that's cute," he says and goes on his way.

A few days later, John Kerry is running with his buddy Ted from the bar(so now
we know this is a joke and not a real story!!) and he spies Little Hannah
with her box just ahead. John smith says to Ted, "you gotta check this out,"
and they both jog over to little Hannah.

John smith says, "Look in the box, Teddy, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Teddy what kind of kittens they
are."

Little Hannah replies, "They're Muslims."

"Whoa!" John smithsays, "I came by here the other day and you said they
were Christians. What's up?"

"Well," Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open now."
Click to expand...

OMG you totally changed the meaning of the joke with just a few words!
 
Originally posted by: Goth
George Bush is out jogging one morning and notices a little girl on the
corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the
little girl, Hannah, and says, "What's in the box, kid?"

Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."

George Bush laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"

"Republicans," says Little Hannah.

"Oh that's cute," he says and goes on his way.

A few days later, George Bush is running with his buddy John Kery (so now
we know this is a joke and not a real story!!) and he spies Little Hannah
with her box just ahead. George Bush says to Kerry, "you gotta check this out,"
and they both jog over to little Hannah.

George Bush says, "Look in the box, Kerry, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Kerry what kind of kittens they
are."

Little Hannah replies, "They're Democrats."

"Whoa!" George Bush says, "I came by here the other day and you said they
were Republicans. What's up?"

"Well," Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open now."
Click to expand...

Fixed.
 
Originally posted by: neutralizer
Originally posted by: Goth
George Bush is out jogging one morning and notices a little girl on the
corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the
little girl, Hannah, and says, "What's in the box, kid?"

Little Hannah says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."

George Bush laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"

"Republicans," says Little Hannah.

"Oh that's cute," he says and goes on his way.

A few days later, George Bush is running with his buddy John Kery (so now
we know this is a joke and not a real story!!) and he spies Little Hannah
with her box just ahead. George Bush says to Kerry, "you gotta check this out,"
and they both jog over to little Hannah.

George Bush says, "Look in the box, Kerry, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Kerry what kind of kittens they
are."

Little Hannah replies, "They're Democrats."

"Whoa!" George Bush says, "I came by here the other day and you said they
were Republicans. What's up?"

"Well," Little Hannah explains, "their eyes are open now."
Click to expand...

Fixed.
Click to expand...
It's not as funny because kids are more idealistic, and get more pragmatic (hopefully) as they age. 😉
 
Originally posted by: andylawcc
haha... cute.

the joke can work the other way around too
Click to expand...

It was originally an anti-bush joke. Making this somewhat of a repost. Plus it just works better with Bush.
 
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

The Original Version..
  • The ant busts his ass in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
The New Liberal Version...
  • It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

    America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country of such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Night Line and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather That they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures Of The 80's".

    Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" RECTRO-ACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his Retro-Active taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just happens to be the ant's old house.... crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV; which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Bill Clinton is standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.
 
Originally posted by: Ornery
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

The Original Version..
  • The ant busts his ass in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
The New Liberal Version...
  • It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

    America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country of such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Night Line and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather That they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures Of The 80's".

    Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" RECTRO-ACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his Retro-Active taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just happens to be the ant's old house.... crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV; which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Bill Clinton is standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.
Click to expand...

Sad but true 🙂
 
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