YAGT

[jdini76]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: jdini76
Apparently #1 doesn't truly believe in her morman ways if she slept with you after 1 week. Sleeping with you before wedlock alone is a big no-no for her religion isn't it? It's a tough decison, but you have to look out for #1 (meaning you). There is nothing wrong with dating two or more people at the same time. Allow some time to figure out which girl you realy want.

There is something wrong with dating two people in my mind.
Especially when I have had sex with one of them.
I feel obligated to that person. Sex is a very important thing to me. It signifies something very deep.

If there is something wrong with dating two poeple, then why did you go out with #2 while you were still 'seeing' #1. If sleeping with someone is so special to you you would never have made the date with #2.

You are not being consitent in your decison making. you seem like an afterthough person. Think BEFORE you do something!

 

[Gunslinger08]

Originally posted by: pontifex
i'm confused. you say that sex is very important to you. does that mean its like something sacred or just that you like it and have to have it?

if its the sacred, then you had sex with the guy after only 2 weeks or maybe even less than 2 weeks?


i'm not up on what the Mormons think of homosexuals, but based on other religions, its not a good thing, but yet he has to follow strict religious codes? or maybe his mom doesn't know?

i'd say lose #1 and go with #2.

Let's put it this way about Mormons: strict ones don't even watch movies or drink soda. How do you think they feel about homosexuality? It sounds like #1 is a bad idea.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

My goal is not sex at all. My goal is to find a companion. Just like everyone else. But, like everyone else, I need certain things from a relationship. Sex sometimes just happens. It was not at all planned. But attraction leads to lust and lust leads to three times in one night.

#1 claims that they enjoy being a mormon. Church functions are fun and stuff. I don't mind that at all. If #1 had a job, phone, car..etc.. I would certainly not be posting all of this. But #1's mother does not know, and can not know. It would be bad. Another negative. Cannot be myself around #1.

Sex isn't "sacred" it's important. It signifies something. A bond of sorts. It's weird for me. I cannot just have sex with people.
That isn't the point though.

#1's feelings are going to be hurt and I am going to feel horrible like I used them, even though I never had any intention of this.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: jdini76

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: jdini76
Apparently #1 doesn't truly believe in her morman ways if she slept with you after 1 week. Sleeping with you before wedlock alone is a big no-no for her religion isn't it? It's a tough decison, but you have to look out for #1 (meaning you). There is nothing wrong with dating two or more people at the same time. Allow some time to figure out which girl you realy want.

There is something wrong with dating two people in my mind.
Especially when I have had sex with one of them.
I feel obligated to that person. Sex is a very important thing to me. It signifies something very deep.

If there is something wrong with dating two poeple, then why did you go out with #2 while you were still 'seeing' #1. If sleeping with someone is so special to you you would never have made the date with #2.

You are not being consitent in your decison making. you seem like an afterthough person. Think BEFORE you do something!

I did what I did because #1 stopped talking to me for almost a week. No contact what so ever. I tried calling, but the phone is off. I tried emailing with no replies.
I figured #1 was done with me, as I know #1 had been online and checked their email.
But #1 emailed me today saying that they had been very busy and calling me baby and boo. It was sweet. But I had been under the mindset that I was old news.

So, I asked #2 out to a movie. Nothing concrete, just a movie to hang out. We didn't kiss or anything. Just watched a movie, talked, then I went home.

 

[Syrch]

dump #1 go with #2 /thread

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: jlbenedict
ouch... I usually do not give honest input on these YAGT's but I'll go out of my way this time..

It appears #1 may become emotionally attached to you. You claim you've had sex with #1 already. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that #1 experienced sex for her first time. Plus, if she is that religious as you say, she is eventually going to want to take the relationship up to another level (ie. serious, engaged, marriage, etc...) You gotta watch those first timers.. their minds become clouded, easily..

You need to distance yourself from #1, but not in an "assholish" way.. make her want to break it off with you..

plus #1 is a mormon with the rest of the family..... theyre gonna try preach it to you and convert you. i know i wouldnt want that and i'd be out of the back door as fast as my feet would take me

 

[K1052]

Cutting right to the heart of this, you know now #1 is definately not right for you but since you had sex you now feel obligated. The longer you hold off ending the relationship the worse it is going to be. I know that is easier said than done, but there it is.

I am in somewhat the same situation currently and need to make up my mind soon about what I want to do.

 

[SViper]

Ok, you know you are going to hurt #1, but you already know that it's a bad situation with they way his mother is acting. Probably the best thing you can do is be straight with him. Tell him you don't think it will work out because of ______. You already acknowledged that he will be hurt whether you leave now or a few months from now. It's best to get it over with now than for you both to build up some more emotions for each other before you leave each other down the road.

Depending on how that plays out, you might have to cut ties with #1. If you two are still emotionally attached after breaking up, it will cause some serious awkwardness in the future.

#2 seems a lot more stable and more in line with what you are looking for in a relationship. I'm just basing this assumption off of what you have told us here in this thread.

Ultimately though, it's your decision. I think you already know what you need to do.

 

[sswingle]

Drop #1, Mama runs his life.

 

[Syrch]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Well first off, I am an idiot.

I could be wrong but starting a thread with this usually isn't a good idea.....

 

[postmortemIA]

Originally posted by: otispunkmeyer

Originally posted by: jlbenedict
ouch... I usually do not give honest input on these YAGT's but I'll go out of my way this time..

It appears #1 may become emotionally attached to you. You claim you've had sex with #1 already. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that #1 experienced sex for her first time. Plus, if she is that religious as you say, she is eventually going to want to take the relationship up to another level (ie. serious, engaged, marriage, etc...) You gotta watch those first timers.. their minds become clouded, easily..

You need to distance yourself from #1, but not in an "assholish" way.. make her want to break it off with you..

plus #1 is a mormon with the rest of the family..... theyre gonna try preach it to you and convert you. i know i wouldnt want that and i'd be out of the back door as fast as my feet would take me

I don't think they'll want to make "gay marriage"...no religion accepts gays well... my thought is that mormon family has no clue that these two are more than a friends

 

[Zysoclaplem]

This is the email I wrote him since I cannot call him, nor arrange a time to see him face to face.

I'll come right out and say it.
I like you ****. You are sweet, funny and very very very very attractive.
But I'm not sure that I'm right for you right now, nor you right for me.
We have completely different priorities.
You don't have the time or the means to be what I need right now.
I started realizing that soon after we started talking.
I need someone who can be there when I need them, who can do things with me, go places, stay places.
And someone who is kind of ready to settle down with me after a while.
But you have already told me you are going to a college away from Tyler.
You have little control over what you can and cant do.
You have no car and no job and do not seem to plan on having one soon.
So my feelings are conflicting with each other.

Everyone told me this stuff when we started talking. I told them to shut up, they didn't know what they were talking about.

I want to know what you feelings are about this.
If you think its fair.
If you hate me for saying this.
If you understand.
If things can change then perhaps things might work out. I certainly like you enough. But I don't see things changing. So..
Anyways.

I cannot do anything this Friday. Perhaps sometime during the weekend if you want to still do something.

-Justin

 

[SpecialEd]

dude... Mormons don't causually date. Marriage is the primary goal. And after marriage is all about popping babies out as quickly as possible.

There is no way out of this without hurting #1 feelings.

 

[IMaN00BieGF]

Usually I would feel bad for any girl that gets dumped, but #1 is a loser and is going know where with there life. Unless our a loser too #2's the girl for you.

 

[wheresmybacon]

#1 is just way too much baggage. i couldn't handle it. i'd go with #2 if i were you.

good luck

 

[Platypus]

How are you meeting these guys?

 

[K1052]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
This is the email I wrote him since I cannot call him, nor arrange a time to see him face to face.

I'll come right out and say it.
I like you ****. You are sweet, funny and very very very very attractive.
But I'm not sure that I'm right for you right now, nor you right for me.
We have completely different priorities.
You don't have the time or the means to be what I need right now.
I started realizing that soon after we started talking.
I need someone who can be there when I need them, who can do things with me, go places, stay places.
And someone who is kind of ready to settle down with me after a while.
But you have already told me you are going to a college away from Tyler.
You have little control over what you can and cant do.
You have no car and no job and do not seem to plan on having one soon.
So my feelings are conflicting with each other.

Everyone told me this stuff when we started talking. I told them to shut up, they didn't know what they were talking about.

I want to know what you feelings are about this.
If you think its fair.
If you hate me for saying this.
If you understand.
If things can change then perhaps things might work out. I certainly like you enough. But I don't see things changing. So..
Anyways.

I cannot do anything this Friday. Perhaps sometime during the weekend if you want to still do something.

-Justin

Quite reasonable and logical, though be prepared for him to take it badly.

 

[postmortemIA]

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Usually I would feel bad for any girl that gets dumped, but #1 is a loser and is going know where with there life. Unless our a loser too #2's the girl for you.

Lucie... #1 is boy..do you feel better now?

 

[interchange]

Kind of ironic that the mormon girl has sex with you within a week and yet can't do anything recreational on the sabbath. Clearly you are not mormon and don't have a connection to this girl. Complications notwithstanding, I don't get the sense you have any reason to be with her other than to use her. Don't worry about her feelings here. She is a responsible adult and made her own choices. If you two are not clicking, she should be able to accept that you want to move on, independent of another girl. Now...if you were just going to stay with her for sex when you weren't truly interested...THAT would be using her.

 

[IMaN00BieGF]

Originally posted by: postmortemIA

Originally posted by: IMaN00BieGF
Usually I would feel bad for any girl that gets dumped, but #1 is a loser and is going know where with there life. Unless our a loser too #2's the girl for you.

Lucie... #1 is boy..do you feel better now?

Yiikes, thanks for the info. Well, then I'd get tested and go for #2.

 

[postmortemIA]

Originally posted by: interchange
Kind of ironic that the mormon girl has sex with you within a week and yet can't do anything recreational on the sabbath. Clearly you are not mormon and don't have a connection to this girl. Complications notwithstanding, I don't get the sense you have any reason to be with her other than to use her. Don't worry about her feelings here. She is a responsible adult and made her own choices. If you too are not clicking, she should be able to accept that you want to move on, independent of another girl. Now...if you were just going to stay with her for sex when you weren't truly interested...THAT would be using her.

It is not a girl :|

OP POST UPDATE THAT YOU ARE GAY AND #1 AND #2 ARE BOYS

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: Platypus
How are you meeting these guys?

Through friends.

 

[sswingle]

Originally posted by: interchange
Kind of ironic that the mormon girl has sex with you within a week and yet can't do anything recreational on the sabbath. Clearly you are not mormon and don't have a connection to this girl. Complications notwithstanding, I don't get the sense you have any reason to be with her other than to use her. Don't worry about her feelings here. She is a responsible adult and made her own choices. If you two are not clicking, she should be able to accept that you want to move on, independent of another girl. Now...if you were just going to stay with her for sex when you weren't truly interested...THAT would be using her.

We are talking about guys. K thx.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: postmortemIA

Originally posted by: interchange
Kind of ironic that the mormon girl has sex with you within a week and yet can't do anything recreational on the sabbath. Clearly you are not mormon and don't have a connection to this girl. Complications notwithstanding, I don't get the sense you have any reason to be with her other than to use her. Don't worry about her feelings here. She is a responsible adult and made her own choices. If you too are not clicking, she should be able to accept that you want to move on, independent of another girl. Now...if you were just going to stay with her for sex when you weren't truly interested...THAT would be using her.

It is not a girl :|

OP POST UPDATE THAT YOU ARE GAY AND #1 AND #2 ARE BOYS

It's not important anymore. I sent the email.
I just dont want to be considered an asshole.
Sex complicates things beyond reason. I've already fvcked up and now I am going to have to pay for it. I have a very soft heart and feel bad when I am the cause of any pain to anyone, even if it's not my intention. This will bother me for weeks.
I need some alcohol.

 

[drinkmorejava]

gee, what a great morman #1 is