YAGT - Yet Another Guy/Girl Thread

[McGyver]

let's say a couple have been hanging out for a year and they want to split.

1st scenario, the guy loves the girl more and she calls it quit. the girl still want them to be friends, should the guy concur?

2nd scenario, the girl loves the guy more and he's ditching her. yet surprisingly, he still wants to be friend with her, should she be cool with it?

and state ur reasons and share some of ur experience with ATOT! isn't it also true that no matter which side likes the other side more, girls always want to be friends with guys. i'm not bitter but as a guy, i'll still talk to my ex but hanging out is out of the question. am i rude?

 

[sixone]

The "friends" thing is BS. It's like a consolation prize for being dumped.

 

[Greenman]

When a girl dumps you but still wants to be friends, that means she wants you as an emotional tampon. Someone to call when she's bored or pissed of at her boyfriend. At least save your pride, say goodbye.

When a guy dumps a girl and wants to be friends it's because he thinks he'll feel like less of a dick.

Edit: I type to slow.
Were on the same page Six.

 

[calvinbiss]

being friends is impossible because if the people had feelings for each other, than that will interfere with the friendship. You have to be completely over each other to be friends, over enough to where if the guy/girl brought a new SO out with the ex, and was all PDA, there would be no jealousy.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Greenman
When a girl dumps you but still wants to be friends, that means she wants you as an emotional tampon. Someone to call when she's bored or pissed of at her boyfriend. At least save your pride, say goodbye.

When a guy dumps a girl and wants to be friends it's because he thinks he'll feel like less of a dick.

Edit: I type to slow.
Were on the same page Six.

I think you said it better than I did, though.

Being friends is not the same thing to a girl as it is to a guy. And when one or the other finds that the friendship isn't what they expected it to be, it's almost like another breakup.

 

[Fenixgoon]

i'm still friends with a girl i used to date (i broke up with her). things have worked out ok so far

 

[gump47371]

Yeah, doesn't work, been there tried it multiple times.

I do think, however, that the less serious the dating relationship, the easier it is. All of my experiences have been serious (multi-year) relationships.

 

[Compudork]

My closest friends are my ex's (two I have dated for 2 yrs+).

My worst enemies are also ex's.

From experience the trend tends to be, if *they* break it off - we may or may not end up friends. If *I* break it off - I deserve to die and they have no interest in ever seeing me again without a bullet in my head.

 

[DainBramaged]

I have my own friends. I don't need former g/f's / fvckbuddies to be my friend too. Unless there's a chance to get more of it.

 

[George P Burdell]

YMMV

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged
I have my own friends. I don't need former g/f's / fvckbuddies to be my friend too. Unless there's a chance to get more of it.

U da Player Dog!:thumbsup:

 

[Whisper]

I'm still friends with a few of my exes, but there are also a few with whom I don't speak (and this was as much their decision as mine).

In the end, it's up to the two individuals, although I will say that it's usually VERY difficult to "just be friends" initially after the break-up. One side is going to have more emotional involvement and "residual" than the other, and that's the side who'll end up getting hurt by the platonic relationship...at least until he/she has a chance to work past those feelings.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

No to both. If you continue to be friends, she will come to your wedding and you will end up saying 'Rachel' instead of 'Emily'. Or you will get drunk and have a kid called Emma, further screwing up any chance of meeting someone else.

 

[her209]

Nope... taking advice from an ex is like taking advice from a psychologist.

 

[McGyver]

Originally posted by: sixone
The "friends" thing is BS. It's like a consolation prize for being dumped.

well put.

 

[FallenHero]

No and No. Friends thing doesnt work. It MIGHT years down the road after both of you have moved on emotionally, but not right after the relationship ends.

 

[McGyver]

Originally posted by: FallenHero
No and No. Friends thing doesnt work. It MIGHT years down the road after both of you have moved on emotionally, but not right after the relationship ends.

it took me 4 years before i talked to my high school sweetheart

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: FallenHero
No and No. Friends thing doesnt work. It MIGHT years down the road after both of you have moved on emotionally, but not right after the relationship ends.

I agree. I'm friends with one of my exes because (1) it's been 5 years, and (2) I have no interest in going out with her again. She dumps all her drama on me, but I'm ok with it because it's usually pretty entertaining, and because I don't have any kind of emotional connection to it.

 

[LordMorpheus]

just makes it harder.

 

[SirStev0]

Originally posted by: sixone
The "friends" thing is BS. It's like a consolation prize for being dumped.

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: Greenman
When a girl dumps you but still wants to be friends, that means she wants you as an emotional tampon. Someone to call when she's bored or pissed of at her boyfriend. At least save your pride, say goodbye.

When a guy dumps a girl and wants to be friends it's because he thinks he'll feel like less of a dick.

Edit: I type to slow.
Were on the same page Six.

Listen to this man. Those are some true words of wisdom.

 

[Kev]

If you work as friends and both are mature enough to handle it, it's fine. But if one person still wants the other it won't work. But the other shouldn't feel compelled to be friends just cause the other wants it.

 

[MixMasterTang]

The only reason to stay friends would be in scenario #2 just because it would be easy sex if you needed some on short notice.

 

[McGyver]

life is waiting for you ahead. there's no point of clinging onto the past convictions. but isn't human heart a very mysterious thing to understand?

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: sixone
The "friends" thing is BS. It's like a consolation prize for being dumped.

It isn't terrible. It just depends on how it was ended and how mature the people are.

I would say that in both cases give it time and you can remain friends. It would be wise to leave things a lone for a bit.

**EDIT**
Of course you can be friends and hang out and talk, but you probably won't be close friends after a breakup.