YAGT: Wife's driving me batty!!!

Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar
D

DurocShark

Lifer
Apr 18, 2001
15,708
5
56
I've mentioned before that my wife has lupus. Because of it, she can't work. Now, me, I'd be ecstatic to have a legitimate excuse to not work.

Too bad my wife's a workaholic.

She's stuck home all day with our kids. So when I get home, all her frustrations have built up and she unleashes the fury on the first adult through the door.

ARRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Each day she pisses me off enought to think, "If I didn't know it was because of the lupus, I'd be packing my stuff."

Man, I need to find her a good excuse to get out of the house every day. She signed up for some aerobic classes for people with lupus, but today she decided she was "too busy" and it was my fault because I didn't help her get dinner ready (while I was at work).

Too bad I don't drink much. But I'm glad she doesn't drink... I can't imagine what a shrew she'd turn into if she was drunk! <scared>

I love her, so we just have to strike a balance somewhere. This lupus thing still has her freaked out a bit. I'm sure things will settle down with time. I just keep doing the yes dear's and we'll get through it.

<yes dear. whatever you say dear. of course dear.>
 
warcrow

warcrow

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
11,078
11
81
Yikes. Sounds like a nightmare. I think you guys should try to deal with her problem directly. You already know that she isnt really unset at *you*, but upset at the situation. You're just the punching bag unfortunately. Is it possible to get some kind of home business going for her, something she can do for an hour or two everyday while the kids are napping? It just a suggestion, but you need to get her involved in something productive besides raising the kids (which is a huge task in itself).
 
J

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
0
Lupus sucks big crap, especially the systemic variety. I think I'd rather work in a sweatshop in Haiti and be healthy than having lupus and being able to not work.
Hang in there....
 
J

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
0
Originally posted by: brunswickite
is lupus curable? how long does it last?

I am unfamiliar with it.
Click to expand...

No known cure, lasts pretty much forever. It almost exclusively affects women.
For most, it results in a skin condition that is kind of like psoriasis or eczema and can be reasonably controlled - more nusiance than anything else. For a rarer few people, it wreaks havoc on the major organs. That one can kill you eventually.
 
PowerEngineer

PowerEngineer

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2001
3,598
774
136
Lupus or not, staying home all day with the kids will drive many mothers/wives up the wall. And the husbands can become their emotional punching bags when they walk in the door. It sounds as if you are being pushed toward the brink by this behavior (who wouldn't?), in which case you might want to consider some marriage counseling to nip this problem in the bud. Good luck!
 
S

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
You guys need structure and a means for her to vent.

set aside a time each day for her to speak of her day, and you can speak of yours. both of you guys will be drained so being a good listener will help...on both your parts.
 
G

Gravity

Diamond Member
Mar 21, 2003
5,685
0
0
You can't be expected to be her sole support. There MUST be lupus or other support groups she can attend.

I know she's ill and I don't want to dismiss that but I hear the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura is very good for this sort of thing.

Or did you shuck all your needs when you discovered she had lupus?

Hang in there.
 
G

Grakatt

Senior member
Feb 27, 2003
315
0
0
Does lupus have anything to do with tuberculosis? Meaning, is this it? :
"MeSH definition: A form of cutaneous tuberculosis. It is seen predominantly in women and typically involves the nasal, buccal, and conjunctival mucosa. "
 
episodic

episodic

Lifer
Feb 7, 2004
11,088
2
81
If you have a support system, let the kids stay with neighbors, relatives, a sitter, whomever. Get a cabin/hotel room somewhere decent and spend the weekend together. Try to take Monday off so you have a three day weekend.

During that time you need to spend some time being husband and wife, have fun, and have a heart to heart talk.

You need to listen to how she feels - but she needs to hear how you feel. Let her know you want to be there for her and that you will see this thing out. She may be afraid that you will leave her deep down.

I know alot of this may depend on your budget - but do try to get a weekend together, just you and her - no phones/internet/anything else.
 
C

Calin

Diamond Member
Apr 9, 2001
3,112
0
0
Next time when she welcomes you that bad, turn around and exit the house. Say nothing. (if it won't work the first time, then it's of no use)
But I agree that staying all day alone could be extremely bad

Calin
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

COMPANY
RESOURCES
FOLLOW
Top Bottom