YAGT: Why is the right thing to do always the hardest ?

[polm]

OK...so I am leaving for Israel in August. I will probably never come back to the States for anythiing besides visits. I leave in August.

I am in love with a girl whom I dated long ago, but have remained very close freinds with. She lives in Knoxville, TN...but she is moving back to our home town when school ends in May.

She currently has a boyfriend, and I am dating someone.

We have been talking a lot about her moving back and what that will mean for her and her current boyfriend. Should they stay together, etc.

Part of me wants so badly to get back together with her before she leaves...I just have all this pent up emotion for her that I want to releive. I want to let her know how much I love her, and that I would give up everything...even Israel for her. But she would never let me do that. She cares too much about me, and knows how important moving to Israel is to me.

So here I am telling her that she should stick it out with her current boyfriend...when deep inside I just want her to leave the guy and for us to get together...even if it would only be for a few months.

I know the right thing to do is to leave things as friends. I just can't help how I feel.

 

[AreaCode707]

Seems like you've already made your decision (the right one), despite how you feel. Hope all goes well for you, and you find a great girl in Israel for you.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

You've got different opinions than me. I gave up a long time ago trying to be sly with women. I say what's on my mind and don't sneak around pining for someone. I've been rejected before for putting myself out there straight up, but other times I've ended up in meaningful relationships. I say just tell her how you feel, she'll take it from there. Worst case, at least you got it out in the open so you can move on.

 

[LAUST]

Wront topic

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: LAUST
Wront topic

huh ?

 

[MacGaven]

Go to Israel.

 

[SCSIfreek]

If this person means so much to you. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Chances are, you'll regret not telling her your true feelins and end up depressed all your life. I know the right thing to do is to comfort her in staying with her current relationship but there are times you have think for yourself(selfish kind of way ). Like Nike's Ad. Just Do it!

If you don't tell her, its a lose/lose situation but if you chance it things might just work out. You'll never know if you dont try. Good luck to you.


--scsi

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: MacGaven
Go to Isreal.

I am...

I just feel really heartbroken at the thought of losing her forever....it's clearly the hardest part of my leaving.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
If this person means so much to you. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Chances are, you'll regret not telling her your true feelins and end up depressed all your life. I know the right thing to do is to comfort her in staying with her current relationship but there are times you have think for yourself(selfish kind of way ). Like Nike's Ad. Just Do it!

If you don't tell her, its a lose/lose situation but if you chance it things might just work out. You'll never know if you dont try. Good luck to you.


--scsi

but I don't want to hurt her. She always tells me how hard it was to get over me....and I don't want to put her through anything difficult. She doesn't deserve that.

I guess she deserves to know how I feel...but I will probably just write her a confessing letter and give it to her right before I go.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
If this person means so much to you. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Chances are, you'll regret not telling her your true feelins and end up depressed all your life. I know the right thing to do is to comfort her in staying with her current relationship but there are times you have think for yourself(selfish kind of way ). Like Nike's Ad. Just Do it!

If you don't tell her, its a lose/lose situation but if you chance it things might just work out. You'll never know if you dont try. Good luck to you.


--scsi

but I don't want to hurt her. She always tells me how hard it was to get over me....and I don't want to put her through anything difficult. She doesn't deserve that.

I guess she deserves to know how I feel...but I will probably just write her a confessing letter and give it to her right before I go.

actually, i don't think that's very fair of you. if you give her the letter before you go, you don't give her the opportunity to respond. you get to take off and not see her for a long time. if you're going to tell her anyway, then you should tell her as soon as possible imo.

$.02++

 

[Angrymarshmello]

If the right thing to do was always the easiest, we wouldn't have immoral acts or sins in this world.

 

[Radiohead]

Cause if it wasn't, then it just wouldn't be life...

 

[dolph]

TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: dolph
TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL

I just feel like that would be selfish.( My letter idea is probably even worse )

If I tell her how I feel it will only make it harder for both of us when I leave for Israel. As much as I would enjoy spending the next couple months with her...it would just be delaying the innevitable (sp?) , and when I left it would be that much harder.

She doesn't deserve to be hurt....but then again, she deserves to know the truth.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
If this person means so much to you. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Chances are, you'll regret not telling her your true feelins and end up depressed all your life. I know the right thing to do is to comfort her in staying with her current relationship but there are times you have think for yourself(selfish kind of way ). Like Nike's Ad. Just Do it!

If you don't tell her, its a lose/lose situation but if you chance it things might just work out. You'll never know if you dont try. Good luck to you.


--scsi

 

[GermyBoy]

What's the harm in getting some from the girl you love before you move away?

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: GermyBoy
What's the harm in getting some from the girl you love before you move away?

because it will make leaving very hard. It will bring all my emotions out and I will have to leave with a very broken heart.

Plus if she did decide to give '"us" a chance for a couple months, it would be really hard on her , too. I just don't want to see her hurt.

 

[polm]

Whats even worse is that just knowing she is coming home is making me lose interest in the woman I am currently dating....

its going to be a lonely summer

 

[Radiohead]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: GermyBoy
What's the harm in getting some from the girl you love before you move away?

because it will make leaving very hard. It will bring all my emotions out and I will have to leave with a very broken heart.

Plus if she did decide to give '"us" a chance for a couple months, it would be really hard on her , too. I just don't want to see her hurt.

Some things are better left unspoken... leave it as it is

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Radiohead

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: GermyBoy
What's the harm in getting some from the girl you love before you move away?

because it will make leaving very hard. It will bring all my emotions out and I will have to leave with a very broken heart.

Plus if she did decide to give '"us" a chance for a couple months, it would be really hard on her , too. I just don't want to see her hurt.

Some things are better left unspoken... leave it as it is

I think you are right Radiohead......as sad as it makes me feel.

 

[blackdogdeek]

have you considered the possiblity that she's still in love with you as well?

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek
have you considered the possiblity that she's still in love with you as well?

yep...and if I didn't think she was I would tell her how I felt. I am pretty sure she still has those feelings for me, and that is what make me hesitate.

I can stress to ya'll enough, how important it is to me NOT to hurt her. This is that real love, where her feelings matter a hell of a lot more to me than my own.

 

[SCSIfreek]

Polm,

Just to let you know, true love don't come by easily. Treasure it and grab it whenever you have the chance. Feeling sorry for yourself later on in life will get you no where. Ask yourself this question, will you stay for this women? Another thing, how old are you?

--Scsi

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
Polm,

Just to let you know, true love don't come by easily. Treasure it and grab it whenever you have the chance. Feeling sorry for yourself later on in life will get you no where. Ask yourself this question, will you stay for this women? Another thing, how old are you?

--Scsi

I would stay for her. But she would never let me. She wouldn't be able to live with herself....thats just how she is.

Im 24 years old...young, but I've been through a lot (imho)

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
Polm,

Just to let you know, true love don't come by easily. Treasure it and grab it whenever you have the chance. Feeling sorry for yourself later on in life will get you no where. Ask yourself this question, will you stay for this women? Another thing, how old are you?

--Scsi

I think that if it was meant to be...it will happen. I don't know how/when/where...but if we are meant to be together it will work out. I hope.