yagt: what should I do.

[Kadarin]

The potential upside to all of this is a great FwB relationship...

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: theknight571

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: theknight571
If you're still interested...go hang out with her...give her time. Is there anything in her past that might make her leary of meaningful relationships?

My wife (then girlfriend) broke up with me 3 times before she finally got over her past relationship issues. (Like your friend there, she couldn't believe someone could be nice to her etc.)

It was hard...but I stuck with it... although I almost completely walked away after the last time...but I just couldn't.

We've been married going on 6 years now. 🙂

I don't advocate waiting around for any girl with issues and baggage. It typlically does not work out like you make it seem.

I'm not sayin it will work or wont work out. All I'm saying is that if he's still interested... go along with it... let her move at her own pace... help her though it.


She was hurt in a relationship before and she doesn't want to get hurt again.

So, if you're still interested, go have drinks with her, don't try to move to fast, let the trust build.

Maybe it'll work out....maybe it wont.

Also...there's no problem with just being friends...you'll always need someone to vent to. 🙂 I know my conversations with my female friends are much different than the conversations I have with my male friends. (of course that's just me 😉 )

the rule that most of ATOT seems to follow is that if you aren't in her pants within 48 hours of meeting her, she's not worth it.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
The potential upside to all of this is a great FwB relationship...

my thoughts exactly.....from how youv'e worded it, sounds like there's DEFINETLY FWB status here....just don't become one of those angsty whiney bitches that talks about how you Looooove her and want to be with her...but you'll hang around just as a friend. You don't sound like you are, just saying...

 

[PricklyPete]

You actually handled it just fine and quickly moved on.

 

[Dragoon42]

Originally posted by: mrrman
shes playin the game....walk away

there is no game?


OP: you said you wanted to be friends. She calls you up being friendly....you're retarded. Did you think about your situation at all? or did you just say to yourself "man i'm retarded, and confused, I think i'll just post a YAGT"

 

[mikelish]

Girls don't want to be your passion, your #1 thing. They want to be second to something, if you put them first they lose interest.

"I was just asking her if everything is going well"

Don't do that. Don't ask her every 5seconds "how are you? are you hot? cold? am I boring?" etc

 

[SampSon]

I don't advocate waiting around for any girl with issues and baggage. It typlically does not work out like you make it seem.

All girls have issues and baggage, that's what makes them fun. Waiting around for the perfect girl will just net you a lonely life. Also the vast majority of girls, and people for that matter, have low self-esteem. There are no perfect girls.

OP: Go out and have drinks, don't expect anything but if you can get some action by all means go for it. Reality is that she's probably going to blather on about her life and problems and want some sort of advice on life. If you don't want to be her psychologist then stay clear of her if this type of talk comes up. You don't really have anything to lose, but something can be gained.

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: SampSon

I don't advocate waiting around for any girl with issues and baggage. It typlically does not work out like you make it seem.

All girls have issues and baggage, that's what makes them fun. Waiting around for the perfect girl will just net you a lonely life. Also the vast majority of girls, and people for that matter, have low self-esteem. There are no perfect girls.

OP: Go out and have drinks, don't expect anything but if you can get some action by all means go for it. Reality is that she's probably going to blather on about her life and problems and want some sort of advice on life. If you don't want to be her psychologist then stay clear of her if this type of talk comes up. You don't really have anything to lose, but something can be gained.

thats not what i meant. I meant those girls that have some serious self esteem and self image issues from past relationships. There is no perfect person but you can certainly find reasonably sane and well adjusted women out there that know how to take a compliment and appreciate a guy who go out of his way to make her feel special when the time calls for it.

 

[JDrake]

FwB?

 

[Cooler]

Originally posted by: nole1fan
Ok, here is the background on the situation.

I went out with this girl for about 2 months, and we were having wonderful time.

Last week, we went out to eat, and I was just asking her if everything is going well during the dinner. She said that she is not into relationship as much as I am, and wanted little bit time off. She went through the routine like it is not you, but it is me, and stuff. She also mentioned that she is not used to guy saying nice things to her and it was bit overwhelming.

She said that we can be friends, and I said that I have a lot of friends to fall back on. I told her that If she is not into relationship, it is ok by me. I asked her We can do whatever we feel like, and hang out as friends and no string attached since she is wonderful person to hangout. She told me she will think about it.

Anyway, it was last Thursday this happened, and I went to wedding over the weekend, had great time, and slowly moving foward to newer things.

Well, I thought we were pretty much done, and it was ended in nice term. Anyway, she called me on Sunday late evening to see how I was doing and how was the wedding. We talked for a long time, and it was fun.

Today she sends me e-mail to see if I want to go drinking on Friday after work trying to relax.

My question here is what should I do? I wonder if she is one of those person who is not into relationship, but hang out as a friend?

Rob

samething happened to me with one of my exs.
You cant be to nice. I learned that the hard way.

also we need pics.
YAGT= PICS!

 

[MisterJackson]

Sounds like you may have come on too strong the first time and she got a little scared. Maybe she still sees something in you to the point of risking another chance with you. If that's the case I can assure you that you will NOT get a third chance, so don't f it up.

Just go have drinks with her and HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS FOR ANYTHING! This will do a couple of things. It will keep you from "overwhelming her", it will keep you protected in case she leaves again (you can't be let down if you had no expectations), and you'll come off as calm cool and relaxed. Do not ask her, even once, if she's okay. In fact don't ask her any questions at all concerning her well being. Just be there, be interesting, and try to be something you are comfortable being. Hopefully that will score you some @ss.

The single best advice I can give is DO NOT make the move, let her do it, on her own terms so she'll feel comfortable. Or if she's bad at making a move at least let a good amount of time pass before you try any serious moves. That time will give her a buffer to know you better.

Seriously, act like she's one of your guy friends. When you're out with her open up doors and sh1t, but just look at her as a guy friend at all times. I know that sounds really weird, but you'll be so relaxed around her that she'll likely be jumping your bones in a week.