• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

yagt: the sadness

J

JacobJ

Banned
basic story:

woman falls madly in love with me.

she makes me think she wants to have my children by repeatedly telling a story about how a 'palmist' told her she'll have twins when she's 30(always connecting this story to how I have twins in my family).

I like this idea, fall in love with her (we're both passionate artists).

later, she tells me she's infertile.

she's known all along, but she's madly in love with me anyways -- and for good reason, I've been pretty damn good to her.

now, I understand why she was sounded so sad when she said she's afraid of dying an old maid.

:disgust:
 
they have allll kinds of crap to knock up girls these days

edit: atleast you can hit all you want without worrying about her poping one out.
 
Originally posted by: JacobJ
basic story:

woman falls madly in love with me.

she makes me think she wants to have my children by repeatedly telling a story about how a 'palmist' told her she'll have twins when she's 30(always connecting this story to how I have twins in my family).

I like this idea, fall in love with her (we're both passionate artists).

later, she tells me she's infertile.

she's known all along, but she's madly in love with me anyways -- and for good reason, I've been pretty damn good to her.

now, I understand why she was sounded so sad when she said she's afraid of dying an old maid.

:disgust:
Click to expand...
Wow......

That would suck... lol
 
Originally posted by: Wahsapa
they have allll kinds of crap to knock up girls these days
Click to expand...
She seemed pretty confident it's not possible...I asked her repeatedly...she kept saying "physical impossibility"...I still don't really believe it.

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
I'm guessing you want kids.
Click to expand...
Indeed...and it kind of sucks that I do, lol.
 
we're both passionate artists
Click to expand...

Heh...sorry man, I just thought that was kind of funny phrasing. On a more serious note, it's also your problem. You have this grand idea of what would have happened in your relationship, and now it looks like it won't.

There are two things you can do here. Become sad because you are a "passionate artist" and go paint in a cave or something. OR you can look at what you CAN make happen, and work towards that. In my experience the worst thing you can do in a relationship is become married to some particular idea of what the relationship should be. That prevents you from discovering opportunities to grow in directions you never would have thought of before.
 
Originally posted by: Rainsford
we're both passionate artists
Click to expand...

Heh...sorry man, I just thought that was kind of funny phrasing. On a more serious note, it's also your problem. You have this grand idea of what would have happened in your relationship, and now it looks like it won't.

There are two things you can do here. Become sad because you are a "passionate artist" and go paint in a cave or something. OR you can look at what you CAN make happen, and work towards that. In my experience the worst thing you can do in a relationship is become married to some particular idea of what the relationship should be. That prevents you from discovering opportunities to grow in directions you never would have thought of before.
Click to expand...
Well, yeah...thats good advice. I've thought about that kind of thing a lot...what has screwed me over though, is the fact that she encouraged this 'fantasy' of having kids with her. I overcame a lot of preconceived notions about relationships in order to really love her, but now I feel like we've had this lie between us since almost the start.

Now that all this has come out, it's good, I suppose. I guess I get to confront some more reality and deal with it and 'grow' and sh!t. Maybe there is hope between us...but I don't really know how to get rid of wanting kids. That and I still don't really believe it that she's infertile. Bah.
 
physical impossibity? She doesn't, perhaps, have a large Adam's apple?
 
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
The way I see it is: she lied to you, ditch her.
Click to expand...

She withheld the truth. Not quite lying. 😉

Reproductive issues, although fairly common in women, seems to be something tough to talk about.
 
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
The way I see it is: she lied to you, ditch her.
Click to expand...

Yup...I agree. Thats a pretty big lie in my opinion, id have serious doubts about the future with her if I were you.
 
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
The way I see it is: she lied to you, ditch her.
Click to expand...

She withheld the truth. Not quite lying. 😉

Reproductive issues, although fairly common in women, seems to be something tough to talk about.
Click to expand...
Well, that's just it. I can understand why she wouldn't just go out and tell me at first...and it was brave of her to tell me at all...granted it sucks that she waited so long.

All this has made me realize that so much of a woman's power in our society rests in her ability to have children.
 
Originally posted by: loki8481
why not just adopt, if kids are that important to you? or find a surrogate mother.
Click to expand...

This is a good idea. If you want kids there are LOTS of children that want a family. I personally would be thrilled if my GF told me she was sterile.
 
Originally posted by: JacobJ
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
The way I see it is: she lied to you, ditch her.
Click to expand...

She withheld the truth. Not quite lying. 😉

Reproductive issues, although fairly common in women, seems to be something tough to talk about.
Click to expand...
Well, that's just it. I can understand why she wouldn't just go out and tell me at first...and it was brave of her to tell me at all...granted it sucks that she waited so long.

All this has made me realize that so much of a woman's power in our society rests in her ability to have children.
Click to expand...

You're almost right. The power comes from the act of trying to make a kid.

Take a few days, a week, a couple weeks, whatever away from her. Think long and hard about the choices. No kids, different woman, adoption, etc. If you're religious, talk to someone there. If you've got a good friend or a parent you like to talk to, talk to them.
 
Originally posted by: SilentZero
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
The way I see it is: she lied to you, ditch her.
Click to expand...

Yup...I agree. Thats a pretty big lie in my opinion, id have serious doubts about the future with her if I were you.
Click to expand...
Yep...the doubts are pretty huge. She never lied outright, though, so I'm not going to completely condemn her. I know her well enough to understand why she did what she did. But...things don't look good.

As for the adoption option...well, that's never really appealed to me.
 
Originally posted by: JacobJ
Originally posted by: SilentZero
Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
The way I see it is: she lied to you, ditch her.
Click to expand...

Yup...I agree. Thats a pretty big lie in my opinion, id have serious doubts about the future with her if I were you.
Click to expand...
Yep...the doubts are pretty huge. She never lied outright, though, so I'm not going to completely condemn her. I know her well enough to understand why she did what she did. But...things don't look good.

As for the adoption option...well, that's never really appealed to me.
Click to expand...

It doesn't appeal to a lot of people, which is why there are a bunch of kids out there without proper homes. 😉
 
Originally posted by: JacobJ
Originally posted by: Rainsford
we're both passionate artists
Click to expand...

Heh...sorry man, I just thought that was kind of funny phrasing. On a more serious note, it's also your problem. You have this grand idea of what would have happened in your relationship, and now it looks like it won't.

There are two things you can do here. Become sad because you are a "passionate artist" and go paint in a cave or something. OR you can look at what you CAN make happen, and work towards that. In my experience the worst thing you can do in a relationship is become married to some particular idea of what the relationship should be. That prevents you from discovering opportunities to grow in directions you never would have thought of before.
Click to expand...
Well, yeah...thats good advice. I've thought about that kind of thing a lot...what has screwed me over though, is the fact that she encouraged this 'fantasy' of having kids with her. I overcame a lot of preconceived notions about relationships in order to really love her, but now I feel like we've had this lie between us since almost the start.

Now that all this has come out, it's good, I suppose. I guess I get to confront some more reality and deal with it and 'grow' and sh!t. Maybe there is hope between us...but I don't really know how to get rid of wanting kids. That and I still don't really believe it that she's infertile. Bah.
Click to expand...

Errr, adopt?

-Xionide
 
you could talk about exploring other options, like adoption or going to a fertility specialist -- that might help determine her attitude towards raising kids, and the fertility doctor would be able to see if she's really infirtile or not.
 
"She lied" or "she didn't tell the truth" - they're not the issue. IMO, I'm more concerned with why she started off the relationship about her having kids & then told you what's up. Sounds to me like she has some issues. I'd be very cautious if I were you.
 
Originally posted by: JacobJ
basic story:

woman falls madly in love with me.

she makes me think she wants to have my children by repeatedly telling a story about how a 'palmist' told her she'll have twins when she's 30(always connecting this story to how I have twins in my family).

I like this idea, fall in love with her (we're both passionate artists).

later, she tells me she's infertile.

she's known all along, but she's madly in love with me anyways -- and for good reason, I've been pretty damn good to her.

now, I understand why she was sounded so sad when she said she's afraid of dying an old maid.

:disgust:
Click to expand...
Adopt a couple of "passionate" orphans
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top