Hey all,
So one of my best friends (we'll call her "Melissa" -- not real name) received an email from her hubby (we'll call him "Sam" -- not his real name) while he was supposedly at work on Thursday, that "Oh BTW, I'm having lunch with Elle (not her real name) today." at the last min. "Elle" is her hubby's ex-wife, who I've noticed in bar room conversations with him he is undeniably still attached to (at least in the emotional sense).
So the Hubby is in Law school and working at a law firm part time, so yes, he theorectically shouldn't be around that much... and my friend already complains that she's in "a time starved relationship." Given she has been vocal of these concerns many many times, I wonder why the hubby feels a need to connect with his *ex-wife* rather than his *current wife* at lunch time.
I should also note, that when I was helping Melissa move some things this week into their new house, we cleaned out Sam's closet and found a ton of shirts that Elle had given him (Elle is from India, so all the Indian shirts are obviously from her), and when Melissa has complained to Sam not to wear stuff that Elle gave him... Sam complains like a child "But she [Elle] *gave* them to me..." in a very whiny type of voice.
Sam was with his Elle for 14 years, and has been with his current wife for about 6 months (with 9 months of dating before that).
Sam is showing a lot of signs of potential cheating in my book -- he leaves the house at 6am, comes back home at 11pm - midnight during the week, and only spends the weekends really with "Melissa." Given the number of hours in there, there's ample time in there for him to get some lunch-time nookie from his ex-wife (who I should note is extremely needy).
Cliff notes:
Wife receives email from husband that he is going to have lunch with his ex-wife last thursday.
Wife hasn't seen husband all week due to him being in law school + working. Why not have lunch with her?
Husband has been noticed to show major emotional attachment to ex-wife in past.
Me = best friend of wife. Wondering if husband is cheating on her with his ex-wife, who he seems to have refused to break off contact with after numerous requests from current wife.
-------------------------------------------------------
What's the best way to verify whether this is or isn't happening? Melissa's a great gal, and doesn't deserve this...
Edit.... poll added.
Edit, more information:
Oh, so to add to that, Sam HAS lied about a few things....
1. He claims he was "at the office" when he was actually visiting Elle on the way home from work (Melissa caught him doing that several times... ) He claims they were "discussing patents..." (Melissa is super smart, he could discuss that stuff with HER...).
2. He lies about Elle calling him, sometimes pretending it's his mom he's talking to.
3. He sends email to Elle from work to avoid Melissa noticing contact with her.
4. He hides gifts / cards / letters from Elle. Since he's so busy, Melissa has stumbled into them on at least three occasions that I recall.
5. He claims that Elle is his "best friend." (Shouldn't he regard his current wife as one.. he doesn't.)
--------------------------------
UPDATE:
Sam looks FUBARED - Melissa ran into one of Sam's credit card bills from May, and:
$330 for opera tickets for an opera on June 9th... billed to his credit card on may 28th.
AND
June 9th is Elle's (ex-wife) birthday.
Melissa asked Sam about the tickets...
and Sam said:
"Oh, I sold them to the admin. at work because I was mad at you that week." (they had a minor fight the week before, but were recovered the next day).
Also, Melissa and Sam went to an opera that friday (June 11th), and a seminar on "how to get the most out of operas" on tuesday (June 8th). Why would you go to an opera twice in one week?
in addition Melissa said, "okay, Sam, if you sold them, please show me the receipt documenting that and the emails regarding the sale." (gives him a chance to prove the statement he made, if that really was true.
Melissa then reminded Sam twice about providing the documentation of the sale, and Sam hasn't followed through, and is acting all lovey-dovey in hopes that Melissa forgets this.
So one of my best friends (we'll call her "Melissa" -- not real name) received an email from her hubby (we'll call him "Sam" -- not his real name) while he was supposedly at work on Thursday, that "Oh BTW, I'm having lunch with Elle (not her real name) today." at the last min. "Elle" is her hubby's ex-wife, who I've noticed in bar room conversations with him he is undeniably still attached to (at least in the emotional sense).
So the Hubby is in Law school and working at a law firm part time, so yes, he theorectically shouldn't be around that much... and my friend already complains that she's in "a time starved relationship." Given she has been vocal of these concerns many many times, I wonder why the hubby feels a need to connect with his *ex-wife* rather than his *current wife* at lunch time.
I should also note, that when I was helping Melissa move some things this week into their new house, we cleaned out Sam's closet and found a ton of shirts that Elle had given him (Elle is from India, so all the Indian shirts are obviously from her), and when Melissa has complained to Sam not to wear stuff that Elle gave him... Sam complains like a child "But she [Elle] *gave* them to me..." in a very whiny type of voice.
Sam was with his Elle for 14 years, and has been with his current wife for about 6 months (with 9 months of dating before that).
Sam is showing a lot of signs of potential cheating in my book -- he leaves the house at 6am, comes back home at 11pm - midnight during the week, and only spends the weekends really with "Melissa." Given the number of hours in there, there's ample time in there for him to get some lunch-time nookie from his ex-wife (who I should note is extremely needy).
Cliff notes:
Wife receives email from husband that he is going to have lunch with his ex-wife last thursday.
Wife hasn't seen husband all week due to him being in law school + working. Why not have lunch with her?
Husband has been noticed to show major emotional attachment to ex-wife in past.
Me = best friend of wife. Wondering if husband is cheating on her with his ex-wife, who he seems to have refused to break off contact with after numerous requests from current wife.
-------------------------------------------------------
What's the best way to verify whether this is or isn't happening? Melissa's a great gal, and doesn't deserve this...
Edit.... poll added.
Edit, more information:
Oh, so to add to that, Sam HAS lied about a few things....
1. He claims he was "at the office" when he was actually visiting Elle on the way home from work (Melissa caught him doing that several times... ) He claims they were "discussing patents..." (Melissa is super smart, he could discuss that stuff with HER...).
2. He lies about Elle calling him, sometimes pretending it's his mom he's talking to.
3. He sends email to Elle from work to avoid Melissa noticing contact with her.
4. He hides gifts / cards / letters from Elle. Since he's so busy, Melissa has stumbled into them on at least three occasions that I recall.
5. He claims that Elle is his "best friend." (Shouldn't he regard his current wife as one.. he doesn't.)
--------------------------------
UPDATE:
Sam looks FUBARED - Melissa ran into one of Sam's credit card bills from May, and:
$330 for opera tickets for an opera on June 9th... billed to his credit card on may 28th.
AND
June 9th is Elle's (ex-wife) birthday.
Melissa asked Sam about the tickets...
and Sam said:
"Oh, I sold them to the admin. at work because I was mad at you that week." (they had a minor fight the week before, but were recovered the next day).
Also, Melissa and Sam went to an opera that friday (June 11th), and a seminar on "how to get the most out of operas" on tuesday (June 8th). Why would you go to an opera twice in one week?
in addition Melissa said, "okay, Sam, if you sold them, please show me the receipt documenting that and the emails regarding the sale." (gives him a chance to prove the statement he made, if that really was true.
Melissa then reminded Sam twice about providing the documentation of the sale, and Sam hasn't followed through, and is acting all lovey-dovey in hopes that Melissa forgets this.
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