This is not a troll, I know the post count looks suspicious but I would legitimately like some help here.
So the new school year started a while back over here and i'v been at school for about five or so weeks, this year since im a senior(I think thats what grade 11 is called in America). I have a large chuck of free-time and this girl does too, when you have a free period you basically have free time, most people spend it getting work done. I'v started sitting next to her a lot, and we are "friendly", but I wouldn't say friends yet. Anyway, I really like her although I don't know what I'm doing. We talk a bit about random stuff and i'm friendly, I try to flirt but I don't know if im comming on too strong or what... I'm told that I should make subtle references to me and her and drop some sexual orientated jokes, compliment here every now and then, to show her that i'm noticing.
Ill usually sit next to her and pretty much just talk about whatever/flirt a bit/make some playfully mean jokes/laugh with her.
Heres the problem, My best friend of like 9 years is also fairly good friends with her, they are close - he told me that she asked someone out two days ago and he accepted, but she hasn't told me yet and has had AMPLE opportunity, the is a couple of years older and they were previously friends. He came into the school(he graduated last year) and came to meet up with her, it seems. Now, before he came we were flirting a bit and having fun, when he came she sort of started ignoring/not flirting with me. She doesn't know that I know, she is going out with this guy. This leads me to believe that perhaps she may have a thing for me, I only began flirting/really hanging out/showing interest a few days ago, and perhaps she realizes that if I know about her having a boyfriend, out of respect for him and her I will step back and stop flirting.
I'm planning on bringing it up just in passing "blahblahblah, hey how random was it when Charles came back into school like that, it was nice seeing him again, kinda random though blahblahblahblah" and see her response. If she admits that they are going out(I'm pretty sure she hasn't told anyone except my friend), then I will back off out of respect for her, if she plays it off then its fair game, I'm going to keep flirting.
I'v got a few questions, and I honestly don't know where else to go.
Firstly, how should I be flirting? I don't really understand how to do it properly, what i'm doing now is just smiling/making jokes/playfully mean/thats it. How can I show that I am interested in her, without appearing creepy or coming off as a giant tool.
I share a lot of classes with her, if i go and sit next, which I never do, would it be a good idea?
How do I know if she likes me? She kinda flirts back a bit and she kinda subtly pairs us together when shes talking about something, its hard to explain. She calls me over to sit next to her when she is alone, away from my friends.
I can't focus on work, I'm constantly thinking about her, its so frustrating. Theres so much uncertainty.
PS : I'm very confident and I know I look pretty nice, she is also really nice and she isn't incredibly hot, but she defiantly isn't a pushover either. but her personality is wonderful, and thats why I'm going for her.
Cliffs
-Me(16), notices girl that I never really knew/socialized with
-REALLY LIKES HER.
-Doesn't know how to act/show interest in her, without being creepy/a tool.
-Doesn't know how to tell if she likes me
-She has a boyfriend but she hasn't told me, and i know through a mutual friend(My best friend).
-I'm getting the idea that she isn't telling me because she thinks theres something between us, and doesn't want me to back off.
UPDATE : Ok so... She got dumped by her BF on MSN and she told me. I tried not to be a shoulder to cry on because I didn't want to get friendzoned. Basically I told her to get over it and that it wasn't worth being sad over, in a much more empathic and kind way.
Next day she comes into school and is all like "Thanks for being nice on MSN i'm ok now".
Earlier that day my friend spoke to her, she is tight with him but me and him are like super bestest buddies ever, anyway essentially what happened was that she brought me up to him about how I was cool to her on MSN, and he said "Yea I think he might have a thing for you maybe.." He knows and I told him about it a long time ago, he brought it up to find out what she thought. She then said something about the lines of "Omg really? I can't imagine it working out though..."
Anyway today and for the past few days(week?) after I made this post I took the advice you guys gave me and I was nice/made some jokes about her/joked with her/laughed etc, then she started asking me to come to the photocopier and stuff with her... all good, I turned her down sometimes and I didn't come easily(pun not intended...). Anyway me and her have excellent rapport, she normally asks me to save her a seat in class next to her and stuff... BUT I think i'm in friendzone.
What i'm asking for here is, how can i definitively tell if she has a thing for me or not? My gut tells me she does, but her signals are mixed(or I can't read them).
Tomorrow and the day after i'm going to semi-ignore her, my plan is, (and I want input on what I should be doing from you guys too...) to not engage her in conversations and give her space, if she comes to me then i'll be like "oh hi", and return to my regular conversation, how her that I'm happy when I'm not around her too and that I might not be interested in her(at least that way she doesn't automatically take me out of BF material and put me in friendzone, I'v been told that if they figure out 100% that you like them you are stuck in friendzone.)
So if she comes to me, ill talk to her a bit, if she asks me to do something like save her a seat ill be like "Unless some other chick comes sits next to me", or something along those lines.
Also, I was sitting with my regular friends and I specifically addressed them, I looked at them (not at her, she pulled up a chair and sat next to me). I said something about the trailers for 300 and how I wanted to see it, then she immediately jumps in and says "Yea I wanna see it too." and the conversation just continued.
I'm planning on telling my friend if I come up again to say something like, "Well he doesn't talk about you at all." that will throw her right off.
Cliffs :
-Chicks BF broke up with her on MSN.
-I think I might be in friendzone(?) not sure.
-Planning on ignoring her and seeing if she comes to me for the rest of the week.
-If all goes well I'm planning on asking her out sometime next week.
So the new school year started a while back over here and i'v been at school for about five or so weeks, this year since im a senior(I think thats what grade 11 is called in America). I have a large chuck of free-time and this girl does too, when you have a free period you basically have free time, most people spend it getting work done. I'v started sitting next to her a lot, and we are "friendly", but I wouldn't say friends yet. Anyway, I really like her although I don't know what I'm doing. We talk a bit about random stuff and i'm friendly, I try to flirt but I don't know if im comming on too strong or what... I'm told that I should make subtle references to me and her and drop some sexual orientated jokes, compliment here every now and then, to show her that i'm noticing.
Ill usually sit next to her and pretty much just talk about whatever/flirt a bit/make some playfully mean jokes/laugh with her.
Heres the problem, My best friend of like 9 years is also fairly good friends with her, they are close - he told me that she asked someone out two days ago and he accepted, but she hasn't told me yet and has had AMPLE opportunity, the is a couple of years older and they were previously friends. He came into the school(he graduated last year) and came to meet up with her, it seems. Now, before he came we were flirting a bit and having fun, when he came she sort of started ignoring/not flirting with me. She doesn't know that I know, she is going out with this guy. This leads me to believe that perhaps she may have a thing for me, I only began flirting/really hanging out/showing interest a few days ago, and perhaps she realizes that if I know about her having a boyfriend, out of respect for him and her I will step back and stop flirting.
I'm planning on bringing it up just in passing "blahblahblah, hey how random was it when Charles came back into school like that, it was nice seeing him again, kinda random though blahblahblahblah" and see her response. If she admits that they are going out(I'm pretty sure she hasn't told anyone except my friend), then I will back off out of respect for her, if she plays it off then its fair game, I'm going to keep flirting.
I'v got a few questions, and I honestly don't know where else to go.
Firstly, how should I be flirting? I don't really understand how to do it properly, what i'm doing now is just smiling/making jokes/playfully mean/thats it. How can I show that I am interested in her, without appearing creepy or coming off as a giant tool.
I share a lot of classes with her, if i go and sit next, which I never do, would it be a good idea?
How do I know if she likes me? She kinda flirts back a bit and she kinda subtly pairs us together when shes talking about something, its hard to explain. She calls me over to sit next to her when she is alone, away from my friends.
I can't focus on work, I'm constantly thinking about her, its so frustrating. Theres so much uncertainty.
PS : I'm very confident and I know I look pretty nice, she is also really nice and she isn't incredibly hot, but she defiantly isn't a pushover either. but her personality is wonderful, and thats why I'm going for her.
Cliffs
-Me(16), notices girl that I never really knew/socialized with
-REALLY LIKES HER.
-Doesn't know how to act/show interest in her, without being creepy/a tool.
-Doesn't know how to tell if she likes me
-She has a boyfriend but she hasn't told me, and i know through a mutual friend(My best friend).
-I'm getting the idea that she isn't telling me because she thinks theres something between us, and doesn't want me to back off.
UPDATE : Ok so... She got dumped by her BF on MSN and she told me. I tried not to be a shoulder to cry on because I didn't want to get friendzoned. Basically I told her to get over it and that it wasn't worth being sad over, in a much more empathic and kind way.
Next day she comes into school and is all like "Thanks for being nice on MSN i'm ok now".
Earlier that day my friend spoke to her, she is tight with him but me and him are like super bestest buddies ever, anyway essentially what happened was that she brought me up to him about how I was cool to her on MSN, and he said "Yea I think he might have a thing for you maybe.." He knows and I told him about it a long time ago, he brought it up to find out what she thought. She then said something about the lines of "Omg really? I can't imagine it working out though..."
Anyway today and for the past few days(week?) after I made this post I took the advice you guys gave me and I was nice/made some jokes about her/joked with her/laughed etc, then she started asking me to come to the photocopier and stuff with her... all good, I turned her down sometimes and I didn't come easily(pun not intended...). Anyway me and her have excellent rapport, she normally asks me to save her a seat in class next to her and stuff... BUT I think i'm in friendzone.
What i'm asking for here is, how can i definitively tell if she has a thing for me or not? My gut tells me she does, but her signals are mixed(or I can't read them).
Tomorrow and the day after i'm going to semi-ignore her, my plan is, (and I want input on what I should be doing from you guys too...) to not engage her in conversations and give her space, if she comes to me then i'll be like "oh hi", and return to my regular conversation, how her that I'm happy when I'm not around her too and that I might not be interested in her(at least that way she doesn't automatically take me out of BF material and put me in friendzone, I'v been told that if they figure out 100% that you like them you are stuck in friendzone.)
So if she comes to me, ill talk to her a bit, if she asks me to do something like save her a seat ill be like "Unless some other chick comes sits next to me", or something along those lines.
Also, I was sitting with my regular friends and I specifically addressed them, I looked at them (not at her, she pulled up a chair and sat next to me). I said something about the trailers for 300 and how I wanted to see it, then she immediately jumps in and says "Yea I wanna see it too." and the conversation just continued.
I'm planning on telling my friend if I come up again to say something like, "Well he doesn't talk about you at all." that will throw her right off.
Cliffs :
-Chicks BF broke up with her on MSN.
-I think I might be in friendzone(?) not sure.
-Planning on ignoring her and seeing if she comes to me for the rest of the week.
-If all goes well I'm planning on asking her out sometime next week.