YAGT: Should I buy a birthday card for a [new] friend's girlfriend?

[Descartes]

No poll because I'm more interested in commentary.

I travel a lot, and my company employs consultants that also travel a lot. Often many of us are in a new city for an extended period of time with only a few people that we know. I've never had a problem with it personally.

We brought on a new consultant about 2 weeks ago, and just last week he had his girlfriend fly in to stay with him while he's here. I've met the girl, but the extent of our conversation was something like, "Nice to meet you."

Anyway, her birthday is today so four of us are going out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I don't know the girl, but the other friend of mine that's going suggested that I should bring a birthday card. Huh? Maybe I'm out of touch with trends in social formalities, but isn't this a bit odd? Perhaps it's a nice gesture, but it just seems a little awkward to me. I personally would not expect someone in my position to bring anything for me.

Thoughts? Petty issue, I know. I'm just curious.

 

[Rill22]

The guy who suggested you bring a birthday card is a moron.

 

[JohnAn2112]

Just get her a card. It costs what, like 2-3 bucks?

 

[KillyKillall]

No card, but DO post a pic please.

 

[MikeyIs4Dcats]

thats silly....maybe your friend is banging her

 

[spidey07]

I'd say it would be very unappropriate to get a card for somebody you barely know.

Buy her a drink.

 

[habib89]

i vote no card.. you've hardly even spoken to her

 

[clamum]

I don't think it's required. Like you said, it seems kind of awkward. If she was your sister, yeah. A co-workers girlfriend whom you've just met? Naw.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: JohnAn2112
Just get her a card. It costs what, like 2-3 bucks?

I'm not cheap. I couldn't care less about the few dollars, and if bringing more were proper I'd do that too. I'm just thinking it's an odd request.

Keep in mind this is just dinner. This isn't a birthday party or any such nonsense; no birthday cake, no fanfare. I have birthday dinners all the time, but I honestly can't remember the last time cards were exchanged. I don't buy any of my friends cards and they don't buy me any either. The celebration is being with friends, imo.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: spidey07
I'd say it would be very unappropriate to get a card for somebody you barely know.

Buy her a drink.

I had planned to pick up the tab on the alcohol which will likely just be a few bottles of wine.

 

[JohnAn2112]

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: JohnAn2112
Just get her a card. It costs what, like 2-3 bucks?

I'm not cheap. I couldn't care less about the few dollars, and if bringing more were proper I'd do that too. I'm just thinking it's an odd request.

Keep in mind this is just dinner. This isn't a birthday party or any such nonsense; no birthday cake, no fanfare. I have birthday dinners all the time, but I honestly can't remember the last time cards were exchanged. I don't buy any of my friends cards and they don't buy me any either. The celebration is being with friends, imo.

Eh, I've done it for my friends' GF's, but maybe that's just me. It looks like the majority of the people here disagree. I would think of it as a nice gesture since it's going to be only 4 people and she doesn't know any of them except her BF.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: MikeyIs4Dcats
thats silly....maybe your friend is banging her

He's gay (I'm not), and he has a different sense of social propriety than I do. He is more.......feminine (sorry, I don't know how else to describe it)..... about what's socially required or appropriate. I explained that I would neither want nor expect someone I barely know buying anything directly for my girlfriend that he knows even less.

 

[booger711]

NO CARD.

 

[eLiu]

I wouldn't bother. Social formalities be damned.

 

[wheresmybacon]

Do not buy a card. You barely know her. Buying a card would be weird.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: JohnAn2112

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: JohnAn2112
Just get her a card. It costs what, like 2-3 bucks?

I'm not cheap. I couldn't care less about the few dollars, and if bringing more were proper I'd do that too. I'm just thinking it's an odd request.

Keep in mind this is just dinner. This isn't a birthday party or any such nonsense; no birthday cake, no fanfare. I have birthday dinners all the time, but I honestly can't remember the last time cards were exchanged. I don't buy any of my friends cards and they don't buy me any either. The celebration is being with friends, imo.

Eh, I've done it for my friends' GF's, but maybe that's just me. It looks like the majority of the people here disagree. I would think of it as a nice gesture since it's going to be only 4 people and she doesn't know any of them except her BF.

She knows my other friend a little better as they have been out a few times.

I've done things for friends' wives/girlfriends as well, but that was only because:

1) I actually knew the wife or girlfriend.
2) We have an open longstanding friendship.

I'd like to again emphasize that it would be entirely different if the social contract were of the "this is a birthday party" nature. That carries with it certain formalities like being invited to a wedding, imo; a casual night out with budding friends is not.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone.

 

[Ausm]

Cards waste trees.


Ausm

 

[bigrash]

Why buy her a birthday card when you can just bake her a cake?

 

[Eeezee]

Card no, drink yes

The more drunk she gets, the more likely it is that she'll confuse you for the friend!

 

[nageov3t]

if you'll be going out with her and your friend to celebrate her birthday, I'd get her a card but no gift.

if you're not going to see her at all on her birthday, I wouldn't bother and just wish her a happy birthday next time you see her.

 

[Spineshank]

I wouldnt get a card in this situation.

 

[KillyKillall]

Why would you take advice about women from a gay guy?

 

[Koing]

No card if you have barely any interaction with her. What would be the point? Sure if you knew her a bit more but it wouldn't mean anything to get a card. Maybe nice?

I didn't even get my best mate a card! I got him a crisp £50 in a red envelope though :thumbsup:

Koing

 

[bennylong]

NO CARD. Wouldn't you feel strange if someone you barely knew gave you a card?

 

[dullard]

I personally would never have even thought of getting a card. Instead I'd buy a drink or some other token gift. What you could do is have the people you are with join in and together get a card. Having 2-4 people join in on a $2 card isn't odd or awkward.