YAGT: My fault that she didn't arrange a ride home

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

Finest member?? How many glasses of wine have you had bitch?

Fixed

:thumbsup:

 

[FilmCamera]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

Finest member?? How many glasses of wine have you had bitch?

Fixed

You forgot a comma.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: yowolabi
Magically be fine? I can't believe at your age that you don't understand how alcohol and being drunk work. To sum it up, after you drink you don't stay drunk forever. As time passes, you get more and more sober.

If he had made plans with her, and then had to cancel them because he drank, then he WOULD have done something wrong, and she would still be mad at him this morning, justifiably. The two of them had pre-existing plans which he still would have been able to keep, he just was not in any condition to change his plans on the spur of the moment to suit her.

Your entire case that he did something wrong is built around the fact that he would still be able to keep his pre-existing plans. Where exactly did he make an error? In making plans, in drinking only at a time where he could keep those plans, in not canceling those plans even though he could still make them? You can't honestly tell me that if had posted a scenario where he drank and then had to cancel his plans because he was too drunk, that you wouldn't have blamed him as much, if not more.

So really you would have placed the blame on him in every case, even though you can't specifically point to anything that he did wrong. Please just admit that you're not thinking logically in any manner and that his main fault is in not being psychic, or in not driving drunk.

Believe it or not I've had more than one date cancelled because my date had to work late or became ill or gasp... had too much to drink unintentionally,this stuff happens and as long as it doesn't happen all the time,there's nothing to get upset about.Sorry but being told you can't help me but that you'll be over at 10pm.. that would make me think the guy thinks I'm some sort of ho or something.

Iwant to add that since he broke up with her via email,didn't even have the decency to drive over to do it face to face,that expending energy on this relationship isn't something he's too keen on anyway.They're both probably better off breaking up.

I understand how you would feel cheap, but I just have a really hard time accepting that there's a situation where he didn't do anything wrong by drinking, but no matter what he did afterward, he would have been in the wrong and had to apologize. But taking your view of events, one has just been created. I don't believe it's fair to do that to the person you're in a relationship with. I wouldn't do that to a girl, and I would expect her to have the same courtesy for me.

If the reason that she's mad is what you stated, then she needed to help him out. Why not tell him that if he's not feeling well enough to drive, then she doesn't think he should drive in an hour either and that they can postpone the date. That way she can make a stand, and still not force him to apologize for no reason. As a bonus, in the future he would think twice about drinking on days they were supposed to get together. Hanging up the phone and then not answering for the rest of the night is not a mature way to handle things, especially taking into account that he didn't do anything obviously wrong. I demand that a girl is as reasonable as possible in her dealings with me. I accept that is not always the case, but she has to know that when she is unreasonable, i'm not going to say i'm wrong just because she demands it. And before you ask, that is working well with my gf of 9 months.

How he broke up with her is another matter, and i'm not going to defend it.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

Finest member?? How many glasses of wine have you had bitch?

Fixed

You forgot a comma.

Damn!

 

[SagaLore]

Come on kids. We're only getting one side of the story here. Considering his last update, I'm wondering if there is more to this than he posted. She can obviously do better.

 

[FilmCamera]

Originally posted by: sm8000
LOL my post got deleted why?

Post it again. I missed it.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
what do you call a girl that you don't have to help or do anything for but you can slip by her place late at night for a piece of ass after you've finished drinking and partying ? anybody know what we call those gals?


cancelling the entire evening would have been a MUCH smarter move.

Here's a question though: How would you feel if he'd done exactly that and posted it, basically admitting to giving a bold faced lie to his girlfriend?

Suppose he posted: "I wasn't drunk,. but I didn't feel comfortable driving since I had been drinking. So I told her I was too drunk and cancelled the rest of the night with her. [assumption warning!] Since my plans had been shot, my roomate and I decided to switch on the 360 and have a few beers...[/assumption]

Now he'd be a jerk for blowing off his GF. His GF would be all the more pissed that not only did he not pick her up, but blew their plans for the entire night because of his irresponsible choice to drink...thus he must not care about her. He'd also be a jerk because he blatantly lied to her.

Honestly, I doubt there was any way the OP could have done right by his GF unless he hadn't drank at all (which is unreasonable to expect) or driven when he wasn't comfortable driving (which is also unreasonable to expect).

At least he was honest.

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Originally posted by: sm8000
LOL my post got deleted why?

Post it again. I missed it.

So did my second one. Nothing to worry about

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

I never realized Elite Member actually meant "Elite Douchebag".

Anyway...

The OP's ONLY fault was that he didn't automatically try to arrange transportation for her. But at least give him some credit for TRYING after the dumb b1tch hung up on him.

But what do I know. OBVIOUSLY the OP only wanted to get drunk and then go use his GF as his personal sperm dumpster. :roll:

 

[FilmCamera]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
what do you call a girl that you don't have to help or do anything for but you can slip by her place late at night for a piece of ass after you've finished drinking and partying ? anybody know what we call those gals?


cancelling the entire evening would have been a MUCH smarter move.

Here's a question though: How would you feel if he'd done exactly that and posted it, basically admitting to giving a bold faced lie to his girlfriend?

Suppose he posted: "I wasn't drunk,. but I didn't feel comfortable driving since I had been drinking. So I told her I was too drunk and cancelled the rest of the night with her. [assumption warning!] Since my plans had been shot, my roomate and I decided to switch on the 360 and have a few beers...[/assumption]

Now he'd be a jerk for blowing off his GF. His GF would be all the more pissed that not only did he not pick her up, but blew their plans for the entire night because of his irresponsible choice to drink...thus he must not care about her. He'd also be a jerk because he blatantly lied to her.

Honestly, I doubt there was any way the OP could have done right by his GF unless he hadn't drank at all (which is unreasonable to expect) or driven when he wasn't comfortable driving (which is also unreasonable to expect).

At least he was honest.

Stop uncovering the hidden flawed logic traps of women! They hate it when you do that.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: SagaLore
Come on kids. We're only getting one side of the story here. Considering his last update, I'm wondering if there is more to this than he posted. She can obviously do better.

Actually this is exactly why I learned very quickly that YAGT advice from ATOT really doesn't help a situation. It gets you in this "I'm right you're wrong" frenzy because you posted your (most likely bias) side of the story that will almost always get people to back you up, but in reality your point of view may be completely off base and by reinforcing it only dig yourself deeper into the rat hole.

edit: NOT saying that this is what happened in this case, only that it may very well be the case here that there is more to the story than the OP has reported. Assumptions and speculation about what's missing doesn't help either, though.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
what do you call a girl that you don't have to help or do anything for but you can slip by her place late at night for a piece of ass after you've finished drinking and partying ? anybody know what we call those gals?


cancelling the entire evening would have been a MUCH smarter move.

Here's a question though: How would you feel if he'd done exactly that and posted it, basically admitting to giving a bold faced lie to his girlfriend?

Suppose he posted: "I wasn't drunk,. but I didn't feel comfortable driving since I had been drinking. So I told her I was too drunk and cancelled the rest of the night with her. [assumption warning!] Since my plans had been shot, my roomate and I decided to switch on the 360 and have a few beers...[/assumption]

Now he'd be a jerk for blowing off his GF. His GF would be all the more pissed that not only did he not pick her up, but blew their plans for the entire night because of his irresponsible choice to drink...thus he must not care about her. He'd also be a jerk because he blatantly lied to her.

Honestly, I doubt there was any way the OP could have done right by his GF unless he hadn't drank at all (which is unreasonable to expect) or driven when he wasn't comfortable driving (which is also unreasonable to expect).

At least he was honest.

Believe it or not the situation has happened to me more than once...things happen in life that aren't always planned. As things were explained,they obviously didn't have much in the way of a date mapped out anyway,I'd have laughed,told him to go sleep it off and call me in the morning.As long as it wasn't a constant thing,cancelling would have been a lot classier a move.

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Why can't people (especially elite members) work out you don't need 14 or 15 quotes in your reply to get the message across?

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

I never realized Elite Member actually meant "Elite Douchebag".

OK I guess I had that coming. I apologize for my remarks. Sometimes I forget this is the kinder gentler politically correct ATOT and revert back to my pre 2000 self.

 

[Jules]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Tizyler

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: yllus

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: yllus
It is. While it's a squeamish subject, the fact of the matter is that if she can continuously nudge you in the direction of becoming her indentured servant, she will. (Ditto for guys doing it to their girlfriends, it's not a gender thing.)

Realistically, you have to establish limits as to what you're willing to do for each other - it's great to cultivate the idea that you'll do anything for each other, but not becoming a doormat means that can't be completely true.

Yeah but while you are busy not becoming a doormat don't become an idiot also and that's what he was doing thinking that he could use the excuse he had to much to drink not to pick her up but it would be ok to come over later for some nookie. I don't think there is a woman out there with any self esteem that would go for that.

I'd definitely say that you have a very good point in that. However, from her reactions after the fact, I think that was too subtle a point for her (or him) to get - her outrage seems to be over the fact that he should be willing to drop everything and hook himself up to an IV in order to get over there and pick her up. That's just ridiculous, and it's unwise in the extreme to start to honour unrealistic expectations like that.

Well at least he manned up and broke up with her in person..oh wait, he didn't..DOH!

Your points really make no sense.

Are you going for cheap shots because you're in the wrong

I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

Your calling him a little bitch? Maybe you need to go bang some "High Class Escorts".

And to you geekbabe, your not the brightest person are you?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: MyStupidMouth

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Tizyler

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: yllus

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: yllus
It is. While it's a squeamish subject, the fact of the matter is that if she can continuously nudge you in the direction of becoming her indentured servant, she will. (Ditto for guys doing it to their girlfriends, it's not a gender thing.)

Realistically, you have to establish limits as to what you're willing to do for each other - it's great to cultivate the idea that you'll do anything for each other, but not becoming a doormat means that can't be completely true.

Yeah but while you are busy not becoming a doormat don't become an idiot also and that's what he was doing thinking that he could use the excuse he had to much to drink not to pick her up but it would be ok to come over later for some nookie. I don't think there is a woman out there with any self esteem that would go for that.

I'd definitely say that you have a very good point in that. However, from her reactions after the fact, I think that was too subtle a point for her (or him) to get - her outrage seems to be over the fact that he should be willing to drop everything and hook himself up to an IV in order to get over there and pick her up. That's just ridiculous, and it's unwise in the extreme to start to honour unrealistic expectations like that.

Well at least he manned up and broke up with her in person..oh wait, he didn't..DOH!

Your points really make no sense.

Are you going for cheap shots because you're in the wrong

I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

Your calling him a little bitch? Maybe you need to go bang some "High Class Escorts".

And to you geekbabe, your not the brightest person are you?

bright enough to know a punk when I see one.You want to take some more cheap shots big man?

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

I never realized Elite Member actually meant "Elite Douchebag".

OK I guess I had that coming. I apologize for my remarks. Sometimes I forget this is the kinder gentler politically correct ATOT and revert back to my pre 2000 self.

I do wonder how many other posters have been given a second chance after an apology, under the same circumstances.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: FilmCamera
Stop uncovering the hidden flawed logic traps of women! They hate it when you do that.

Not all of us.

I think the GF was totally unreasonable in calling him at the last minute, and expecting him to drop everything to give her a ride. If he can't count on her to let him know what her expectations are, then she shouldn't expect him to satisfy them.

I don't see what the problem is with him having a few drinks with his friends, before seeing her. If she wasn't going to be home earlier anyway, then of course he's going to wait until later to visit. If he wants to get drunk and then sober in the meantime, so what?

That email ultimatum is total BS. The OP should have the balls to have that conversation face to face, after cooler heads prevail.

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: FilmCamera

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
what do you call a girl that you don't have to help or do anything for but you can slip by her place late at night for a piece of ass after you've finished drinking and partying ? anybody know what we call those gals?


cancelling the entire evening would have been a MUCH smarter move.

Here's a question though: How would you feel if he'd done exactly that and posted it, basically admitting to giving a bold faced lie to his girlfriend?

Suppose he posted: "I wasn't drunk,. but I didn't feel comfortable driving since I had been drinking. So I told her I was too drunk and cancelled the rest of the night with her. [assumption warning!] Since my plans had been shot, my roomate and I decided to switch on the 360 and have a few beers...[/assumption]

Now he'd be a jerk for blowing off his GF. His GF would be all the more pissed that not only did he not pick her up, but blew their plans for the entire night because of his irresponsible choice to drink...thus he must not care about her. He'd also be a jerk because he blatantly lied to her.

Honestly, I doubt there was any way the OP could have done right by his GF unless he hadn't drank at all (which is unreasonable to expect) or driven when he wasn't comfortable driving (which is also unreasonable to expect).

At least he was honest.

Stop uncovering the hidden flawed logic traps of women! They hate it when you do that.

Every girl I've ever dated would be happier if I made it over later than not at all. Even if it WAS so late that all we did was make out, fvck and go to bed. But maybe all the girls I date are dick-crazy hos.

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Jesus, lock this trainwreck already. It's turned into a slanging match between "Elite" members and everyone else. It's pathetic.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: wetcat007

Originally posted by: Tizyler

Originally posted by: Queasy
If she can only count on her friends and family...where were they in this little episode? Why didn't she call one of them instead of you?

She did after she called me. She found a ride home without much problem.

She told me originally that she would walk home if she couldn't find a ride... it's about a mile (it was dark though). I told her that if she had to, then to do it (politely). That is what spurred the episode. ("you don't care about me").

Oh the irony, she'll spend the day at the gym, but walking home a mile is impossible of course...

In the dark...

This seems like the type of thinking that got the OP in this situation to begin with. I'd expect any woman with even a modicum of self respect to withhold the sex for an indefinate period for even suggesting that she walk home a mile in the dark because you can't be bothered to help her arrange a ride. It's true that he may not have been able to do much, but he deserves at least a little scorn dismissing it so quickly. How hard is it to call a fscking cab?

How hard is it for her to do it herself? Especially when all her friends and family that apparently live right close by are going to be in her phone book. And why would spending money on a cab even be considered when you have access to free help?

This isn't about chivarly, it's about having the sense to not strand yourself, and not assuming someone will be able to drop what they're doing to help you.

Sure, as many other posters have said, the OP could have worded his response better, or just added to it that she would need to call a friend and to call him back if she couldn't find a ride. But as he mentioned several times, she never even gave him the chance.

 

[Jules]

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Angry?? I'm not angry, I love flaming clueless morons.:heart:

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
No unlike most of you wankers some of us understand women.

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
I'm in the wrong? Look you little bitch I'm not the one running to ATOT looking for confirmation for my actions.

just wanted to consolidate these as an example of one of AT's finest members.

I never realized Elite Member actually meant "Elite Douchebag".

OK I guess I had that coming. I apologize for my remarks. Sometimes I forget this is the kinder gentler politically correct ATOT and revert back to my pre 2000 self.

I do wonder how many other posters have been given a second chance after an apology, under the same circumstances.

Not many considering Red dawn and Geekbabe are both mods.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Group Hug!!
Let's all be friends.

 

[kstu]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: FilmCamera
Stop uncovering the hidden flawed logic traps of women! They hate it when you do that.

Not all of us.

I think the GF was totally unreasonable in calling him at the last minute, and expecting him to drop everything to give her a ride. If he can't count on her to let him know what her expectations are, then she shouldn't expect him to satisfy them.

I don't see what the problem is with him having a few drinks with his friends, before seeing her. If she wasn't going to be home earlier anyway, then of course he's going to wait until later to visit. If he wants to get drunk and then sober in the meantime, so what?

That email ultimatum is total BS. The OP should have the balls to have that conversation face to face, after cooler heads prevail.

hooray for common sense and level-headedness, you're great six

 

[LLCOOLJ]

Originally posted by: kstu

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: FilmCamera
Stop uncovering the hidden flawed logic traps of women! They hate it when you do that.

Not all of us.

I think the GF was totally unreasonable in calling him at the last minute, and expecting him to drop everything to give her a ride. If he can't count on her to let him know what her expectations are, then she shouldn't expect him to satisfy them.

I don't see what the problem is with him having a few drinks with his friends, before seeing her. If she wasn't going to be home earlier anyway, then of course he's going to wait until later to visit. If he wants to get drunk and then sober in the meantime, so what?

That email ultimatum is total BS. The OP should have the balls to have that conversation face to face, after cooler heads prevail.

hooray for common sense and level-headedness, you're great six

Yeah she sounds like she would be fun. Get drunk and go over later for some booty