Originally posted by: apac
Originally posted by: xtknight
Wasn't in your control, dude. You've saved yourself some future trouble. Love is always troublesome especially in that sort of situation. Thankfully she loved you enough that she had the courage to do the right thing to save you from even more stress in the future. As long as your relationship doesn't have any other barriers I don't see this as a reason to permanently stay apart. She's prolly just saying that so you don't get your hopes up or anything but she'll want to talk to you again sometime in the near future. Honesty is true love.
You're probably right, unfortunately. One thing she said with utter sincerity was that she thought doing might be making the biggest mistake of her life. But part of not getting my hopes up means severing all my emotional ties. I'm sure she'll notice some of the things I've done to break those ties, and will probably take that as me never wanting to talk to her again. How can I deal with my optimistic side still loving her, and that sickening feeling in my stomach knowing that there's no way I can expect anything?
It could be that she's just implying she needs some time to think. Doubt she really wants to break all connections from you. Sounds like a knee jerk reaction/preemptive strike.
I just think of it this way: God prevented something worse from happening in the future. This is as good as it gets. Be a realist about it, everything's relative anyway, the thought of a "true love" is just an unfounded belief. Or, put it this way: she'd be there for you in almost any situation despite this. For awhile I think the best thing to do is to realize that she does NOT want to be away from you forever. While it may be a reason not to get in to long-term commitment (i.e. marriage), a situation like this is
not a reason to cut off ties. Often times people exaggerate their feelings in a plead for sympathy or help, and that's all she's doing right now. Unfortunately, she had to rub it off on you, but the future won't be so bad. People that
are married get in fights quite often even.
Simply put, the more you're with somebody the more you can't stand them until you're away from them for awhile. Your mind was unfortunately in a utopian state that needs time to descend before you can see who she really is.
Drink lots of coffee too, it stimulates dopamine release==feel-good.
Watch some comedy, do whatever, just realize it's really not your problem nor was it in your control. It's very likely that she was being completely honest with you.
P.S. I thought I'd add another thing: it does not mean severing all emotional ties. Feelings don't just evaporate after two years of being together, nor will they just go away for the rest of your life. Chill a little as right now you may feel like you're in a time machine (i.e. panic). Realize there's nothing to truly panic about. Just be yourself and be happy. You need to get the feelings out somehow, but do something like work out or write a novel if you need to. Best thing to do is leave her alone for awhile (probably months). If/when you do talk to her next, don't act overly hurt, just slightly as people can sense exaggeration easily and you'll get the maximum empathy/sympathy if you don't make it worse than it is and just stay true.
Facebook
Twitter