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YAGT: Moving

G

General Texas

Junior Member
No pics .. long time lurker in off-topic. Don't hate too much.

So I have until 6pm today to accept or decline a nice job offer. If I accept, it could mean losing the girl I've been seeing for almost three years since it would be out of town. If I decline, I would keep my girl but turn down what I believe is a nice career move.

Right now I work part-time and am done with 60 hours of school. At the new job, I would work full-time and I could finish school but would only be able to go to school part-time. The money is great, and from what I hear the company is awesome to work for and really cares about their employees. The town I live in sucks, there are no good jobs and no matter what when I am done with school moving would be a requirement.

They interviewed about 90 people for this job, and about 70 had college degrees. My experience, networking, and good interviews got me the position. This is the type of job I'd want once I was done with school.

What would you folks do? (WWOTD)
 
Take the job man. Ask the gf to move or try the long distance thing for a bit. Besides, it sounds like if you haven't talked about her coming with you it probably isn't very serious?
 
it sounds like you have all these good reasons for taking the job and moving but the only reason you stated for staying with your gf is b/c you've been together for a long time.

why would you lose her if you moved out of town? How far away are you moving? would it really be impossible to see her at all?
 
I brought up the fact I had the interview, and she got really pissed. I think she'd be more willing to move once she was done with school, but she's at the halfway point right now. I love her, and think the world of her. I also hate dating and going through the trouble of finding somebody new. It's such a hard job.
 
Originally posted by: General Texas
I brought up the fact I had the interview, and she got really pissed. I think she'd be more willing to move once she was done with school, but she's at the halfway point right now. I love her, and think the world of her. I also hate dating and going through the trouble of finding somebody new. It's such a hard job.
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Tell her it's a big career move for you, and you want her to be a part of it.
It's all about compromise.
 
Looks like you're at the point that if you love her, you should get married and take her with you. If you don't, move on.
 
If you don't take the job, every day from now until you eventually dump her when you're working for 1/3 the money and hating every minute of it you'll be bitter that you didn't take the offer.

If she cares about you, she would see it's the right decision. If she refuses to listen, then she's a stupid selfish b!tch and you don't want her anyways.
 
do long distance for a couple years. If that doesn't work out the relationship probably would have died anyway.

She's halfway through school, so it wouldn't have to be more than a year or two.
 
Originally posted by: Alienwho
Looks like you're at the point that if you love her, you should get married and take her with you. If you don't, move on.
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Please, getting married just because you're moving is stupid. Don't become a statistic

OP, you are between a rock and a hard place. You have two things in life that are hard to find: a good job and a good woman. Honestly, if your relationship is meant to last then you can go start your job and have her come live with you ASAP. But you need to talk to her about it, straight up. You need to sit down and talk face to face to figure this out.

That's a hard choice. Discuss it with her and just do what you think is best, you can't do any more.
 
Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
do long distance for a couple years. If that doesn't work out the relationship probably would have died anyway.

She's halfway through school, so it wouldn't have to be more than a year or two.
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Don't. you'll be wasting your time. Move on now, if necessary.
 
Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
do long distance for a couple years. If that doesn't work out the relationship probably would have died anyway.

She's halfway through school, so it wouldn't have to be more than a year or two.
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Don't. you'll be wasting your time. Move on now, if necessary.
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If they're going to survive in the long run, they will survive long distance. Don't give the man bad advice just because you got burned.
 
Originally posted by: General Texas
I brought up the fact I had the interview, and she got really pissed. I think she'd be more willing to move once she was done with school, but she's at the halfway point right now. I love her, and think the world of her. I also hate dating and going through the trouble of finding somebody new. It's such a hard job.
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If that's the reason you're still with her then you need to grow some balls anyways. Even though you don't like the dating game doesn't mean you should settle for the person you're with now.
 
Originally posted by: maddogchen
how far away is it?
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Six hour drive. Still in the same state. I would have all holidays off, weekends off, and about 4 weeks of vacation a year so plenty of time to see her and come home to visit parents as well as other friends..

So many good points, thanks everyone. I knew the hard talk was coming just happening so fast. She's freaking awesome, if it is meant to be it will be.
 
Originally posted by: General Texas
Originally posted by: maddogchen
how far away is it?
Click to expand...


Six hour drive. Still in the same state. I would have all holidays off, weekends off, and about 4 weeks of vacation a year so plenty of time to see her and come home to visit parents as well as other friends..

So many good points, thanks everyone. I knew the hard talk was coming just happening so fast. She's freaking awesome, if it is meant to be it will be.
Click to expand...

Easy decision. First off long distance relationships are really brutal but 6 hours is nothing. You can see each other every weekend. That's not even long distance in my book. Can you survive until she can move?

Take the job. Tell her you want her to move with you, you'll help her transfer to another university if possible, and if not you'll do the long distance thing as long as you're both willing to drive it. With your job you could always afford to meet halfway at a bed and breakfast or whatever when you don't want to drive the full 6 hours.

Have fun.
 
Good luck man....it sounds like you will be taking the job. If she is as good a woman as you claim she is, then she will support you. IN the long run this is better for both of you anyways. She will have to move when she is done with school and so would you. So move now, when she's done put the ring on her finger and make a life together.

good luck!
 
take the job, you have to take care of yourself first. If she's supportive, you two can find a way to make it work...
 
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