So a while ago some stuff went down with this girl I know. It was out of my hands (someone I know was being a complete jackass and doing some pretty messed up things that she doesn't need to know about) and things got weird between us (I think I made it worse by trying to fix things).
She is a cool/mature enough girl that the groups that we are in that we can be civil and such. I hope maybe after some time, we can be friends again, but I kind of doubt it. At least she respects me and I respect her, I guess that is all I can ask for. If she ever needs anything, I will be willing to step up and help, but until then, my hands are tied. I am trying to give her space and leave her be, but for some weird reason, we keep bumping in to each other at really strange places (especially since she is so busy and so am I in unrelated ways). I know this makes her feel weird, but it isn't like I even know where she is when we bump into each other. I am extremely busy nowadays, so it is weird that we keep bumping into each other.
Well, last night I had finished studying with my study group, and I was driving home when I thought to myself that I could get a little more reading done at a local bookstore. I was heading on my way to get a coffee when I saw her again. I am not sure she saw me, but I ended up doing a complete 180 and walking off to avoid the situation and leaving after a few minutes. I hope she didn't see me because anything I do around her for some time will probably make her feel weird. I am just trying to give her space.
Anyways, this is not anything I need suggestions on or anything. I know how to handle myself for the most part because of all the mistakes I have made in the past. It is a semi-rant because things never had to be this way. That guy that did all that stupid crap -- we somewhat worked it out, but he knows it will be a long time till I trust him again. I am a friend that most people aren't willing to lose. Even though there is nothing I can do, it still pisses me off that all that stuff happened and now all I can do is step away (even that probably makes her feel strange).
**EDIT**
Clarification
1) I asked a girl out a while ago. She said no for reason again out of my hands.
2) We remained friends and things were fine.
3) A "friend" of mine started to do some weird stuff when he found out I knew her and he started to manipulate the situation
4) He manipulated the situation and things got weird between me and the girl
5) The girl and I go to some of the same groups. It is impossible for me or the girl to leave these groups otherwise I would leave the group and make it easier for her.
6) I give her, her space, because she is obviously still somewhat weird about the situation even though she doesn't show it.
7) ... but we keep bumping into each other in places outside of these groups.
There is nothing I can do about it, but it is still a stupid sucky situation that will only heal with time.
**EDIT 2**
I think one of the only ways things will get better is if she starts dating again, or I find a girl that I am attracted to and I start dating. Either one was always fine with me, but I don't warm up to a girl very quickly (it takes me a while for everything to click for me because a pretty face doesn't do it for me <I actually usually avoid the "pretty/fine" girl in the group because that is usually not a good idea> ). If I am mentally stimulated by the girl though, that usually makes me start liking them which had happened in this case. Hopefully, she will start dating someone, bring him to one of these groups, the guys will back off, and she will feel less weird about the situations.
She is a cool/mature enough girl that the groups that we are in that we can be civil and such. I hope maybe after some time, we can be friends again, but I kind of doubt it. At least she respects me and I respect her, I guess that is all I can ask for. If she ever needs anything, I will be willing to step up and help, but until then, my hands are tied. I am trying to give her space and leave her be, but for some weird reason, we keep bumping in to each other at really strange places (especially since she is so busy and so am I in unrelated ways). I know this makes her feel weird, but it isn't like I even know where she is when we bump into each other. I am extremely busy nowadays, so it is weird that we keep bumping into each other.
Well, last night I had finished studying with my study group, and I was driving home when I thought to myself that I could get a little more reading done at a local bookstore. I was heading on my way to get a coffee when I saw her again. I am not sure she saw me, but I ended up doing a complete 180 and walking off to avoid the situation and leaving after a few minutes. I hope she didn't see me because anything I do around her for some time will probably make her feel weird. I am just trying to give her space.
Anyways, this is not anything I need suggestions on or anything. I know how to handle myself for the most part because of all the mistakes I have made in the past. It is a semi-rant because things never had to be this way. That guy that did all that stupid crap -- we somewhat worked it out, but he knows it will be a long time till I trust him again. I am a friend that most people aren't willing to lose. Even though there is nothing I can do, it still pisses me off that all that stuff happened and now all I can do is step away (even that probably makes her feel strange).
**EDIT**
Clarification
1) I asked a girl out a while ago. She said no for reason again out of my hands.
2) We remained friends and things were fine.
3) A "friend" of mine started to do some weird stuff when he found out I knew her and he started to manipulate the situation
4) He manipulated the situation and things got weird between me and the girl
5) The girl and I go to some of the same groups. It is impossible for me or the girl to leave these groups otherwise I would leave the group and make it easier for her.
6) I give her, her space, because she is obviously still somewhat weird about the situation even though she doesn't show it.
7) ... but we keep bumping into each other in places outside of these groups.
There is nothing I can do about it, but it is still a stupid sucky situation that will only heal with time.
**EDIT 2**
I think one of the only ways things will get better is if she starts dating again, or I find a girl that I am attracted to and I start dating. Either one was always fine with me, but I don't warm up to a girl very quickly (it takes me a while for everything to click for me because a pretty face doesn't do it for me <I actually usually avoid the "pretty/fine" girl in the group because that is usually not a good idea> ). If I am mentally stimulated by the girl though, that usually makes me start liking them which had happened in this case. Hopefully, she will start dating someone, bring him to one of these groups, the guys will back off, and she will feel less weird about the situations.
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