YAGT-is this the end?

[vshah]

dude, i've been there, and i'm willing to bet many others here have too. have a talk or whatever, get more information if you want, but you must end it. this girl, good as her intentions may be, doesn't know how to handle herself in a relationship. she's honest, which is a plus, and more than I can say for most girls out there.

chances are, after you break up with her, she'll get together with bob, and a few months down the line, he will be hurt in the exact same way as you. believe it or not, i'm friends with the guy who one of my exes left me for, because the same thing happened to him. the both of us kind of realize what was wrong with this girl.

I'm going to assume this is your first relationship, because it definately sounds like that. trust me, breaking up gets so much easier after you've done it once, just as asking someone out gets easier after the first time. just look at this as a hurdle you have to get over.

and please please don't blame yourself or make up any deficiencies to place the blame. This is just a thing that happens.

and months/years down the line, when she wants to get back together (if you stay friends, its likely), be very very careful. I got back together with an ex after about a year, and it ended in disaster.

good luck to ya

-Vivan

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

At least you know she is safe and OK with Bob, a lot of nuts and abusers out there.

Merit in that saying, if you really love someone you will let them go.

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: sygyzy
Break up. That's the only answer.

It's already been done

 

[sygyzy]

Originally posted by: CraigRT

Originally posted by: sygyzy
Break up. That's the only answer.

It's already been done

Oops sorry, I missed that

 

[iamwiz82]

She is as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film. She is Bob's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex she is having with Bob.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: dirtboy
The solution is simple, because if she wants to give things a shot with Bob she will break up with you even though she loves you.

So here's what you do...

Tell her that you understand she's not sure about Bob and that is causing problems between the two of you. Tell her you are okay with her seeing Bob, so long as she doesn't get intimate with him. That way she has the opportunity to go out with him and see if there is actually something there.

Then tell her if after a couple weeks she'd rather be with Bob, that you will let her go, even though it will hurt you. If you are better than Bob, she'll return to you.

Of course I don't know how old either of you are, but it is natural for young people to want to experience many other people just to know for sure what they have is what they want.

He might as well turn in his man card and dick if he goes that route. He isnt a toy to be played with.

Agreed, he would definitely have to bang her mom, to get his penis and man card back

 

[Lazy8s]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
She is as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film. She is Bob's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex she is having with Bob.

what a fscker, where's the ban stick?

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: Lazy8s

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
She is as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film. She is Bob's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex she is having with Bob.

what a fscker, where's the ban stick?

That was a quote from a movie, dumbass.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

Wow it sounds like you did the reasonable thing and did it right. There are plenty of people a lot older than you who wouldn't of handled it as maturely. It will hurt for awhile but I have a feeling that you will be alright. Good Luck!

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

Wow it sounds like you did the reasonable thing and did it right. There are plenty of people a lot older than you who wouldn't of handled it as maturely. It will hurt for awhile but I have a feeling that you will be alright. Good Luck!

Thanks, Red. It's interesting...people are saying that she's going to end up with Bob, but without me even asking she told me that that's not the case. She said she just wants to be alone right now, she doesn't want to date, she doesn't want a boyfriend, she just wants time to herself and with her friends. Whether that will hold true, I guess time will tell, but as far as I know she's not planning on shacking up with Bob anytime soon. I hope not...as selfish and awful as that may sound. Just the thought of her immediately running to someone else kills me, even though I know it may very well happen.

 

[Wuffsunie]

Sounds like a flake. Lottsa bad things happening here. Personally, I think she's feeling that your relationship is too much of a good thing and needs to be destroyed. I've seen a lot of people with that kind of self-destructive attitude, ESPECIALLY towards relationships. Usually it's the ladies that do this. (Never understood what it was with women attracted to guys who treat them like dirt.)

And, no, losing a girl to another guy isn't the most painful: losing her to another girl is. With another guy it just looks like you are inadequate, with a girl it's your whole gender that is inadequate to her. It's not just you, it's EVERY guy that you de facto turned her off from.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

Wow it sounds like you did the reasonable thing and did it right. There are plenty of people a lot older than you who wouldn't of handled it as maturely. It will hurt for awhile but I have a feeling that you will be alright. Good Luck!

Thanks, Red. It's interesting...people are saying that she's going to end up with Bob, but without me even asking she told me that that's not the case. She said she just wants to be alone right now, she doesn't want to date, she doesn't want a boyfriend, she just wants time to herself and with her friends. Whether that will hold true, I guess time will tell, but as far as I know she's not planning on shacking up with Bob anytime soon. I hope not...as selfish and awful as that may sound. Just the thought of her immediately running to someone else kills me, even though I know it may very well happen.

Blah, she doesnt know what she wants. Sounds like every girl i have ever met. Hang in there buddy.

 

[Deeko]

My main man SS,
This fvckin sucks dude I've been hearin about all your ups over this time, it sucks to hear about the downs.
She might come to her senses and realize that you really are the guy she should be with. Frankly she's right if she realizes that. But the question is, if she does that, is she worth your time anymore? After brushing you aside and trying to figure if another guy was really her sh!t, is she really worth that? Man, its tough as hell, I been there, you just gotta do what the heart tells you man. Don't listen to anyone else....all thats important is you do what you feel is right for you.

Best of luck my man. I know everything will work out for you in the end.

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: Deeko
My main man SS,
This fvckin sucks dude I've been hearin about all your ups over this time, it sucks to hear about the downs.
She might come to her senses and realize that you really are the guy she should be with. Frankly she's right if she realizes that. But the question is, if she does that, is she worth your time anymore? After brushing you aside and trying to figure if another guy was really her sh!t, is she really worth that? Man, its tough as hell, I been there, you just gotta do what the heart tells you man. Don't listen to anyone else....all thats important is you do what you feel is right for you.

Best of luck my man. I know everything will work out for you in the end.

I appreciate the kind words. But to quote the girl herself:

"How am I supposed to follow my heart when it's in so many pieces?"

 

[Epoman]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Deeko
My main man SS,
This fvckin sucks dude I've been hearin about all your ups over this time, it sucks to hear about the downs.
She might come to her senses and realize that you really are the guy she should be with. Frankly she's right if she realizes that. But the question is, if she does that, is she worth your time anymore? After brushing you aside and trying to figure if another guy was really her sh!t, is she really worth that? Man, its tough as hell, I been there, you just gotta do what the heart tells you man. Don't listen to anyone else....all thats important is you do what you feel is right for you.

Best of luck my man. I know everything will work out for you in the end.

I appreciate the kind words. But to quote the girl herself:

"How am I supposed to follow my heart when it's in so many pieces?"

Dude, Bob is her new shoulder to cry on. She will be with him in a matter of days. She just told you that so you would not be sad. You're better off now, you will find a girl who only wants YOU.

 

[User1001]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
For an update-Things got better for awhile, but I guess it was just sort of non-recoverable. We broke up last night. We're still on really great terms, neither of us wanted this relationship to end, but we both knew it had to. Lots of tears, lots of reminiscing (sort of odd conversation for the night we broke up, but somehow it made us feel better).

I know I have the support of family and friends...but nonetheless I feel so alone right now. She's been such a huge part of my life for so long...waking up this morning knowing that things were different was so painful.

Thanks for listening, and for the input. I'm gonna go to IHOP, lol.

Wow it sounds like you did the reasonable thing and did it right. There are plenty of people a lot older than you who wouldn't of handled it as maturely. It will hurt for awhile but I have a feeling that you will be alright. Good Luck!

Thanks, Red. It's interesting...people are saying that she's going to end up with Bob, but without me even asking she told me that that's not the case. She said she just wants to be alone right now, she doesn't want to date, she doesn't want a boyfriend, she just wants time to herself and with her friends. Whether that will hold true, I guess time will tell, but as far as I know she's not planning on shacking up with Bob anytime soon. I hope not...as selfish and awful as that may sound. Just the thought of her immediately running to someone else kills me, even though I know it may very well happen.

Dude sorry to hear that. Try not to get to worked up about it.

 

[Kraeji]

it's the end

 

[Gooberlx2]

I've been in this -exact- situation before. Dude, it's done. If you don't end it then she will. She's all confused and she won't be the same in any case. You'll have a hard time trusting her in any case. Bob's not gonna move away....he's always available....you're 30 mins away.

Moral of the story: Girls are fickle, it sucks. I say cut your losses and try to get over her asap. Believe me, I know it hurts.

 

[PowderBB3D]

All these people saying "it's the end" need to realize that about ten days back johnjohn posted saying they broke up already. So...yes it was, stop saying it, he doesn't need to hear it from 12 people over and over.

Sucks man, but trust me (despite the fact you won't like it) you'll get over her. Time (and a beer + some chicks) heals all wounds.

 

[ColdFusion718]

She may very well be attracted to Bob. This attraction is causing her grief because she obviously has a conscience and doesn't want to hurt you. On the other hand, she cannot control this attraction.

There's a common misconception about attraction in that it can be convinced to discouraged. Basically, there's nothing you can do about it. She can't either--sounds like she is attracted to this Bob guy. This is conflicting with her "higher brain."

She knows that you're good to her; she knows that you're good for her and that you love her. She doesn't know that if she hooks up with Bob that he'll be the same as you (hell, he might turn out to be a complete JACK@$$ who's just in it for some poontang). However strong this cognition is, it's nothing compared to the force of attraction.

If you love her, just let her go. Perhaps this is what she needs--to go and explore then get trashed by a few jerks. That's how most women realize they've got a good man. At that point, they either come crawling back (if they've learned their lesson) or they keep going after this type of guys, in which point, you'll know it was good that she left anyway--she didn't deserve you in the first place.

If she comes crawling back, you must set some firm rules and stick by them. Most guys get walked all over by their gfs in their first real love relationship. It happened to me--hell was with her for 4 years and we were engaged for 9 months; btw, she ran off with an "old friend." I heard he treats her like crap now. (I'm happy to be single--no b!tch to walk all over me).

This could very well be a blessing in disguise. You're a young fellow. Undoubtedly, your heart will most likely break. But I assure you, time will heal it and you will love again like you've never loved before. I know it sounds like BS, but take it from a guy who used to be a hard-ass, turned soft by that woman, broken by her, turned stone-cold, then finally becoming a man and seeing the big picture.

Good luck to you; if you need someone to talk to, AIM me. Lastly, my mother has always told me, "This, too, shall pass." She has never been wrong.

 

[Chrono]

well, obviously she didn't "love" you enough to be faithful with her emotions/feelings. you have to find a woman that will truthfully love you. i say, good riddance. time to go on with your life, and off to search for your next girl.

 

[Compton]

this is the end

my only friend, the end