YAGT: In a sticky situation

Mar 15, 2003
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First, I must make it totally clear that I'm not bragging. These three girls are all cute and nice but they're not supermodels and I'm not the "man" for having them in my life. I'm just lucky and lost weight so I'm more confident than I usually am. But, yeah, I'm not bragging - I'm just confused right now and could use some advice. I had like 2 years off from dating after a long relationship so I'm friggin' clueless and pathetic, so make fun of me - just don't accuse me of e-bragging since I have nothing to brag about.

Here's the situation. There are three girls who are in my sights, but I'm not sure how to balance this. In fact, I don't wnat there to be three, it's way too stressful.

Girl #1 - A friend of mine from highschool who I had a crush on way back when. She emails me out of nowhere (after 7 years!) and mentions hanging out with a mutual friend. We begin emailing back and forth and end up meeting up for drinks. but our first meeting turned out very different then I thought it would - i spent the night and... well.. i didn't expect that at all. Part of the attraction is nostalgia - the cute girl from high school wants me for a change! But she's also a sweet girl and I do like her... She's just kinda irresponsible (lives with her parents still) and doesn't ahve a real job yet. She's been calling /texting me to hang out and we will eventually, just feel weird because of how our last meeting ended.

Girl #2 - Total myspace ho. We've been e-flirting and I'm pretty sure she'll be an easy lay, she actually invited me to her place on Saturday but I'm having reservations because of girl #1 and my feelings for girl #3. She's really pushy and has been emailing me a lot and it's getting on my nerves. She also doesn't interest me as a person and we'd just be using each other, which i'm honestly fine with..I'm thinking of just cutting her off but my dryspell in the past makes such a move seem stupid... What do you think?

Girl #3 - the girl who complicated things. We had our first date last night and we had a wonderful time. She's intelligent ( a web designer who codes by hand!), well off, cute, and very mature. Relationship material, for sure. But the newly cautious me wants to take things slow with girls I really like so, even though she invited me home, I passed and just asked her out on a 2nd date. I see this going somewhere but my problem is with the other 2.

NOW, my problem seems like a simple one but I don't; want to keep all of my eggs in one basket. I would cut out or change the relationship with the other girls if I had something more invested in girl #3, but it's only been one date (as wonderful as it was). I feel guilty if I did anything behind her back because I respect her, but I also don't want to screw up 2 other fun opportunities... Since I'm supposed to hang out with all 3 this weekend I'm kinda banging my head on the table to figure this out... Thoughts?
 

Drakkon

Diamond Member
Aug 14, 2001
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I say play the trifecta...one for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner :)
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
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String along the first two girls while focusing on three for a few weeks. If things go well, blow them off. If things don't go well, date/sleep with all three until it blows up in your face. Also go back in time and sleep with girl 3 when she asked you up because women cannot handle being sexually rejected and I think you hurt yourself right there.
 

BrianH1

Platinum Member
May 24, 2005
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girl #3 hands down. #1 and #2 are just toys for you that will surely get old. #3 is a keeper from how you say it.
 

olds

Elite Member
Mar 3, 2000
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#1
#2s a ho
#3 is too mature for you (she wouldn't be seeking relationship advice on ATOT)
 

Spineshank

Diamond Member
Jun 8, 2001
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Originally posted by: BrianH1
girl #3 hands down. #1 and #2 are just toys for you that will surely get old. #3 is a keeper from how you say it.



I agree but turning her down like that..ehh you could be screwed (no pun intended)
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
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Originally posted by: Gnrslash4life
Originally posted by: BrianH1
girl #3 hands down. #1 and #2 are just toys for you that will surely get old. #3 is a keeper from how you say it.



I agree but turning her down like that..ehh you could be screwed (no pun intended)

Yeah, he's probably fvcked now with her. Thats why I recommend 'working the crowd' and seeing what happens.
 
Mar 15, 2003
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Originally posted by: PingSpike
String along the first two girls while focusing on three for a few weeks. If things go well, blow them off. If things don't go well, date/sleep with all three until it blows up in your face. Also go back in time and sleep with girl 3 when she asked you up because women cannot handle being sexually rejected and I think you hurt yourself right there.

So I shouldn't actually spend time/hook up with the other 2, right? It's a weird situation because it's only been one date and committing to the girl seems silly, but I would feel guilty.

As far as going back in time goes, I think my move impressed her... She didn't feel rejected since I was holding her hands and making out all night, i was just being responsible for a change since I didn't want this to turn into a one night fling.
 

elektrolokomotive

Golden Member
Jan 14, 2004
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forget #2. working three at a time will be trouble, you won't have enough time. I'd keep #1 on ice until you can figure out how it's going with #3.

#3 would be preferable, but #1 seems like an OK fall back position.
 
Jun 19, 2004
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If you want a relationship out of this stick with #3 and keep #1 until you know #3 is solid.

If you just want to get laid, keep them all and ask them each how they feel about groupsex.

Hat Trick FTW!!!
 

Specop 007

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2005
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If your under 25.
#2. Its all about numbers, and shes an easy one to add to the count. Of you can add 1 and 3 all the better.

If your over 25, #3.
 
Mar 15, 2003
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Originally posted by: SurgicalShark
I believe the word is menage trois :D


That only works in trailer parks and in late night cinemax movies ;) just kidding, some people can do four-somes. I'm the guy who'd be exhausted a few minutes in and reaching for a gatorade while 3 frustrated girls give me a pissed off look.
 

Specop 007

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2005
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Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
forget #2. working three at a time will be trouble, you won't have enough time. I'd keep #1 on ice until you can figure out how it's going with #3.

#3 would be preferable, but #1 seems like an OK fall back position.

I agree. Juggling anything more then 2 becomes more of a pain in the ass then its worth after the first week or two.
 
Mar 15, 2003
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Originally posted by: Specop 007
If your under 25.
#2. Its all about numbers, and shes an easy one to add to the count. Of you can add 1 and 3 all the better.

If your over 25, #3.

what if I'm exactly 25?
 

y2kc

Platinum Member
Sep 2, 2000
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you have no problem here. all 3 relationships are casual (at best). ride the tide until the cream rises to the top. at that time, cut the other 2.
 

Fraggable

Platinum Member
Jul 20, 2005
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Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Specop 007
If your under 25.
#2. Its all about numbers, and shes an easy one to add to the count. Of you can add 1 and 3 all the better.

If your over 25, #3.

what if I'm exactly 25?

Grow up and do what an over 25 would do.
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
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Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: PingSpike
String along the first two girls while focusing on three for a few weeks. If things go well, blow them off. If things don't go well, date/sleep with all three until it blows up in your face. Also go back in time and sleep with girl 3 when she asked you up because women cannot handle being sexually rejected and I think you hurt yourself right there.

So I shouldn't actually spend time/hook up with the other 2, right? It's a weird situation because it's only been one date and committing to the girl seems silly, but I would feel guilty.

As far as going back in time goes, I think my move impressed her... She didn't feel rejected since I was holding her hands and making out all night, i was just being responsible for a change since I didn't want this to turn into a one night fling.

I still don't think it helped your scenario, and if it didn't hurt you its because you got lucky and confused her...not because it was a good idea. Men are constantly subjected to sexual rejection and thus have a huge callous that protects us from it. Women are virtually NEVER subjected to it...and their brain will explode when such and unthinkable scenario actually happens to them.

Next time you see her, just tell you couldn't have sex because...you sh|t your pants. :p
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
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Ditch number 2, you're no longer hard up for sex. If you think she's annoying now, imagine how annoying she will be after you've had sex with her and she thinks you owe her something.

Keep talking to number 1. You like her as a person, and though her situation isn't ideal, that doesn't rule her out. I wouldn't suggest sleeping with her for the time being though.

Focus on number 3. Be very careful about turning girls down for sex when you do want to have sex with them. You might not get another chance. It sounds like you handled it well, but you can only do that so many times before you alienate the girl.
 

randomlinh

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
20,846
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linh.wordpress.com
#3. altho, why doesn't #1 have a real job and how old is she? is it because she's still in school? but yeah, from an outside view, #3. Even though if I were in your situation I'd let all logic go out the window and go for #1 :p
 

Specop 007

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2005
9,454
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Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Specop 007
If your under 25.
#2. Its all about numbers, and shes an easy one to add to the count. Of you can add 1 and 3 all the better.

If your over 25, #3.

what if I'm exactly 25?

Then I say #3.

Personally, I would go for #3. A nice girl whos got a good head on her shoulders is worth her weight in gold.
#1 has potential, but sometimes that old flame from high school can easily burn out.
#2 is a ho. You DONT want the gift that keeps on giving, or you'll never have a chance getting girls like #1 and #3 ever again.
 
Jan 31, 2002
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Originally posted by: Fraggable
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Specop 007
If your under 25.
#2. Its all about numbers, and shes an easy one to add to the count. Of you can add 1 and 3 all the better.

If your over 25, #3.

what if I'm exactly 25?

Act like you're still <25 while you still have the chance

Fixed that horrible typo. I don't see how you could have made that.

- M4H
 

Vinny N

Platinum Member
Feb 13, 2000
2,278
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Hang out with #1, but stop sleeping with her if you can. You'll find out pretty soon if she wanted something more or just company in bed.

Forget about #2, sounds like she's just craving attention. Besides, if she's just like you think, you could probably drop her now but if needed call on her on a rain day.

Focus on #3. You may have actually peaked her interest by turning her down. Keep dating her, sleep with her if it seems right and if that's what both of you seem to want.
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,424
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Jesus christ, can't you figure anything out for yourself? If the answer isn't obvious, I suggest you give up dating and anything at all to do with women.