This doesn't bode well for the prospective reinstatement of my man card.
Here's the obligatory narrative:
Eventually, I get over skank face. Yes, I did it. Sort of. I don't feel like venturing out into the world of dating again, so I decide to take a break. So I start hanging out with this other chick that I had hung out with previous to the skankface episode reaching climax. We're more friends than anything, I wish it could be more, but we've talked about it and she's not interested. Nathan and I have basically raised her for the past few years, since her mother has to work two jobs to pay for her fancypants private school education. As a result, she's even a nerd at heart. She just refuses to commit some stuff to memory because it's too "geeky" or more commonly that she's afraid she'll mess up and break somthing. Furthermore, she considers me the only person that she can tell *everything* to. So I get to hear *everything.* I usually don't mind, I'm a natural born "listener."
That's cool, where's the problem?
Well, the problem lies in that the guys she does choose to get with are the freaking lowest common denominator of humanity. Drug dealers. Car thieves. Gun-toting gang members. It makes me physically ill to think of her with these goons. Nate's already written her off as a lost cause, he's literally told me never to utter her name in his presence unless she's finally seen the light and gotten with me, or if I'm telling him that she's dead and when the funeral is.
So yeah. This has been going on for a few months now. One of them got her into drugs, which set off the most painful night of my entire life. In short, I was stuck in a position where I either kept her secret and let her continue down the path that I've seen destroy far too many lives, or I betray that trust and tell someone on the outside chance that it can be stopped. After hours of beating myself up over it, I picked up the phone, and without thinking about it, dialed her mother's number and told the poor woman EVERYTHING. Drugs, sex, rap, thievery, etc. Way more than I'd intended to, but it just felt SO good to get it all off my chest.
Fortunately, her mother is a very smart woman and decided not to act overtly on anything I told her because it would be obvious to even the dumbest idiot that I'd ratted her out. Instead, she waited for small stuff that she could pretend to have stumbled upon by chance. Ultimately, the drug thing came to an end when I revealed to her mother the location of her stash. Enough fear-of-god was applied that she decided that maybe crack wasn't good for her, despite what her thuggin' man had said.
She's been dragged down the same road of cheating and lying that I was numerous times and hasn't really figured out that it doesn't have to happen. Her mother can't stop her from seeing these guys simply because she doesn't do it on HER time. She does it on SCHOOL time. She skips lunch and practices and various other extracurricular activities to find time for it all. Thereby we also can't get the school involved, because if they hear one bit about it, she quite simply won't be attending there any longer. Damn religious nazis.
I want to help, but I also feel guilty for trying to. I don't even know how I can help anymore, really. The last thing I can possibly think of would be to tip off the cops while she's engaged in some felony or another. Cruising around in a stolen car or somthing. I care about her, more than I've ever cared about anything else. I don't want to have to put her through that, but I also can't stand to see her throwing all this away for no apparent reason.
Is Nate right, and she's a lost cause?
Is this another case of my not being able to cut and run when I should?
Am I just as bad as they are?
Or maybe, just maybe, am I doing somthing right for once?
These are the questions that I find myself continually faced with internally and am never able to answer.
Ugh beerchug.gif
And yes, she's out with one of them right now. It's kinda funny... She called me and told me she didn't want to do anything with him because it makes her feel like a slut. And then the next breath she was making excuses like "You don't know how good it feels!" I hadn't even said anything.
And just to save some of you the time and effort, I'LL make the obligatory statement about getting tag-teamed on a boat.
Here's the obligatory narrative:
Eventually, I get over skank face. Yes, I did it. Sort of. I don't feel like venturing out into the world of dating again, so I decide to take a break. So I start hanging out with this other chick that I had hung out with previous to the skankface episode reaching climax. We're more friends than anything, I wish it could be more, but we've talked about it and she's not interested. Nathan and I have basically raised her for the past few years, since her mother has to work two jobs to pay for her fancypants private school education. As a result, she's even a nerd at heart. She just refuses to commit some stuff to memory because it's too "geeky" or more commonly that she's afraid she'll mess up and break somthing. Furthermore, she considers me the only person that she can tell *everything* to. So I get to hear *everything.* I usually don't mind, I'm a natural born "listener."
That's cool, where's the problem?
Well, the problem lies in that the guys she does choose to get with are the freaking lowest common denominator of humanity. Drug dealers. Car thieves. Gun-toting gang members. It makes me physically ill to think of her with these goons. Nate's already written her off as a lost cause, he's literally told me never to utter her name in his presence unless she's finally seen the light and gotten with me, or if I'm telling him that she's dead and when the funeral is.
So yeah. This has been going on for a few months now. One of them got her into drugs, which set off the most painful night of my entire life. In short, I was stuck in a position where I either kept her secret and let her continue down the path that I've seen destroy far too many lives, or I betray that trust and tell someone on the outside chance that it can be stopped. After hours of beating myself up over it, I picked up the phone, and without thinking about it, dialed her mother's number and told the poor woman EVERYTHING. Drugs, sex, rap, thievery, etc. Way more than I'd intended to, but it just felt SO good to get it all off my chest.
Fortunately, her mother is a very smart woman and decided not to act overtly on anything I told her because it would be obvious to even the dumbest idiot that I'd ratted her out. Instead, she waited for small stuff that she could pretend to have stumbled upon by chance. Ultimately, the drug thing came to an end when I revealed to her mother the location of her stash. Enough fear-of-god was applied that she decided that maybe crack wasn't good for her, despite what her thuggin' man had said.
She's been dragged down the same road of cheating and lying that I was numerous times and hasn't really figured out that it doesn't have to happen. Her mother can't stop her from seeing these guys simply because she doesn't do it on HER time. She does it on SCHOOL time. She skips lunch and practices and various other extracurricular activities to find time for it all. Thereby we also can't get the school involved, because if they hear one bit about it, she quite simply won't be attending there any longer. Damn religious nazis.
I want to help, but I also feel guilty for trying to. I don't even know how I can help anymore, really. The last thing I can possibly think of would be to tip off the cops while she's engaged in some felony or another. Cruising around in a stolen car or somthing. I care about her, more than I've ever cared about anything else. I don't want to have to put her through that, but I also can't stand to see her throwing all this away for no apparent reason.
Is Nate right, and she's a lost cause?
Is this another case of my not being able to cut and run when I should?
Am I just as bad as they are?
Or maybe, just maybe, am I doing somthing right for once?
These are the questions that I find myself continually faced with internally and am never able to answer.
Ugh beerchug.gif
And yes, she's out with one of them right now. It's kinda funny... She called me and told me she didn't want to do anything with him because it makes her feel like a slut. And then the next breath she was making excuses like "You don't know how good it feels!" I hadn't even said anything.
And just to save some of you the time and effort, I'LL make the obligatory statement about getting tag-teamed on a boat.
