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YAGT: If you think a girl is interested in you...

B

BCYL

Diamond Member
... but you already have a stable girlfriend and is not interested, do you have the responsibility to tell her outright you're already involved? Or should you wait until she makes an obvious move before telling her?
 
Wait till she makes a move. That's the least embarassing way to do it, because if it turns out she's not interested and you tell her you have a girlfriend, then you'll be embarassed. The other thing you could do is just casually slip 'my girlfriend' into the conversation.
 
funny you chose the word "stable" instead of the word "steady" 😉
I bet this other girl knows you have a "stable" gf and is just testing your stability...


The other thing you could do is just casually slip 'my girlfriend' into the conversation.
Click to expand...
That the way the girls do it...they slip the "my boyfriend does..." whatever into the convo giving you the sublte hint to back off 😉
 
Originally posted by: jumpr
Wait till she makes a move. That's the least embarassing way to do it, because if it turns out she's not interested and you tell her you have a girlfriend, then you'll be embarassed. The other thing you could do is just casually slip 'my girlfriend' into the conversation.
Click to expand...

 
Originally posted by: Drakkon
funny you chose the word "stable" instead of the word "steady" 😉
I bet this other girl knows you have a "stable" gf and is just testing your stability...
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LOL good one! 😀

I didn't realize what I typed until you mentioned it... made myself laugh 😀
 
Originally posted by: jumpr
Wait till she makes a move. That's the least embarassing way to do it, because if it turns out she's not interested and you tell her you have a girlfriend, then you'll be embarassed. The other thing you could do is just casually slip 'my girlfriend' into the conversation.
Click to expand...

But then what is considered an obvious move??? I am never good at picking up on these things...

also I want to be fair both to my girlfriend and to the girl... I dont want my girlfriend to think I am out 'testing the waters' by not saying anything to the other girl...
 

I think it would be cool that if under the date joined and number of posts count, we have an option that states whether or not a person is single.

Then people don't have to bother reading pointless crap. They can just take advice from people with experience.

Regarding your situation - What do you think you should do? I mean this isnt a very hard thing to decide.
 
Try to drop a hint that you're attached, but don't say it outright, as there's a chance she really has no interest in you and just wants to be a friend.
 
You always wait for her to make a move.

Because with woman, stable can easily and quickly turn into unstable.
And if you say something too early, then you might basically screw up a future opportunity.

Not to mention she might not be interested making you look like a fool.
 
Originally posted by: yayo
I think it would be cool that if under the date joined and number of posts count, we have an option that states whether or not a person is single.

Then people don't have to bother reading pointless crap. They can just take advice from people with experience.
Click to expand...

How would that help?
Some people may be single and have had 300 relationships, they may not be single and have had 2.
Both have experience, and both may have valid contributions.

Just slip in the "my girlfriend" and you're set.
 
Originally posted by: Lonyo
Originally posted by: yayo
I think it would be cool that if under the date joined and number of posts count, we have an option that states whether or not a person is single.

Then people don't have to bother reading pointless crap. They can just take advice from people with experience.
Click to expand...

How would that help?
Some people may be single and have had 300 relationships, they may not be single and have had 2.
Both have experience, and both may have valid contributions.

Just slip in the "my girlfriend" and you're set.
Click to expand...

 
This kinda thing has happened twice in the past couple of years already... both girls knew I have a girlfriend (they actually knew my gf personally), and were doing all these nice stuff for me and asking me out for drinks/dinner etc... I thought we were just being good friends, but my gf said they were making a move...

I didn't pickup on it until both girls did something very obvious (one girl sent me an email telling me how she felt about me, and the other girl said she'll marry me if I ask)... And when I had to tell them at that point, it affected our friendship greatly, and I don't want this kinda thing to happen again...

 
Originally posted by: BCYL
I didn't pickup on it until both girls did something very obvious (one girl sent me an email telling me how she felt about me, and the other girl said she'll marry me if I ask)... And when I had to tell them at that point, it affected our friendship greatly, and I don't want this kinda thing to happen again...
Click to expand...
I don't think you want a friendship with a girl who will 'marry you if you ask.'

That's a recipe for disaster.
 
Originally posted by: BCYL
This kinda thing has happened twice in the past couple of years already... both girls knew I have a girlfriend (they actually knew my gf personally), and were doing all these nice stuff for me and asking me out for drinks/dinner etc... I thought we were just being good friends, but my gf said they were making a move...

I didn't pickup on it until both girls did something very obvious (one girl sent me an email telling me how she felt about me, and the other girl said she'll marry me if I ask)... And when I had to tell them at that point, it affected our friendship greatly, and I don't want this kinda thing to happen again...
Click to expand...

Man, you stud 😉
 
Originally posted by: jumpr
Originally posted by: BCYL
I didn't pickup on it until both girls did something very obvious (one girl sent me an email telling me how she felt about me, and the other girl said she'll marry me if I ask)... And when I had to tell them at that point, it affected our friendship greatly, and I don't want this kinda thing to happen again...
Click to expand...
I don't think you want a friendship with a girl who will 'marry you if you ask.'

That's a recipe for disaster.
Click to expand...

Well at the time she just broke up with her bf, and I was comforting her... and we were talking about marriage and stuff... and she said "u know, I'll marry you if you ask me"... I thought she was joking, so I let it slipped... but then she said it a couple more times after that, with a more serious tone... That's when I knew something was wrong...

After I told her, it affected our friendship greatly (we were very good friends before)... now we only talk through IM once in a while... but we still come out for drinks/dinner once every couple of months...
 
Originally posted by: BCYL
Originally posted by: jumpr
Originally posted by: BCYL
I didn't pickup on it until both girls did something very obvious (one girl sent me an email telling me how she felt about me, and the other girl said she'll marry me if I ask)... And when I had to tell them at that point, it affected our friendship greatly, and I don't want this kinda thing to happen again...
Click to expand...
I don't think you want a friendship with a girl who will 'marry you if you ask.'

That's a recipe for disaster.
Click to expand...

Well at the time she just broke up with her bf, and I was comforting her... and we were talking about marriage and stuff... and she said "u know, I'll marry you if you ask me"... I thought she was joking, so I let it slipped... but then she said it a couple more times after that, with a more serious tone... That's when I knew something was wrong...

After I told her, it affected our friendship greatly (we were very good friends before)... now we only talk through IM once in a while... but we still come out for drinks/dinner once every couple of months...
Click to expand...
Okay, it was a rebound-type thing. That's somewhat expected, but still, don't take her up on the offer of marriage!!! Rebound marriages don't usually work out. 😉😀
 
Originally posted by: Lonyo
Originally posted by: BCYL
This kinda thing has happened twice in the past couple of years already... both girls knew I have a girlfriend (they actually knew my gf personally), and were doing all these nice stuff for me and asking me out for drinks/dinner etc... I thought we were just being good friends, but my gf said they were making a move...

I didn't pickup on it until both girls did something very obvious (one girl sent me an email telling me how she felt about me, and the other girl said she'll marry me if I ask)... And when I had to tell them at that point, it affected our friendship greatly, and I don't want this kinda thing to happen again...
Click to expand...

Man, you stud 😉
Click to expand...

Seriously, in no way I was trying to imply I am a stud... I am NOT good looking at all... But I do value my friends a lot, and treat most of them very well... maybe that's giving the girls the wrong impression that I am interested in them...
 
Originally posted by: jumpr
Wait till she makes a move. That's the least embarassing way to do it, because if it turns out she's not interested and you tell her you have a girlfriend, then you'll be embarassed. The other thing you could do is just casually slip 'my girlfriend' into the conversation.
Click to expand...

confirmed. this old chick I was doing work for was coming on to me last christmas. At some point my gf called and I was able to tell a funny anecdote about how bad a driver she is. It was a perfect way to get this woman to stop leaning her head on my shoulder every 10 minutes and whining about how much she needs a man.

 
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