Your first mistake is not reconizing that both of them are women and will enevitably be bitchy and dishonest.
If she is hurtin that bad for some companionship, then why isn't she giving you the reverse butter churn? She is full of something when it comes to you and it ain't your penis, but smells just as bad.
If you care about her, then just get friend zowned and let her find a dousche like her ex to bang. I would personally drop her for leading a person on to the point where they think they have a chance. Who knows, maybe you do have a chance... but from everything you typed, it doesn't seem likely.
MmmSkyscraper
Diamond Member
- Jul 6, 2004
- 9,472
- 1
- 76
MmmSkyscraper
Diamond Member
- Jul 6, 2004
- 9,472
- 1
- 76
First, neither one of them are "honest, sweet, or sincere". Although, as a guy, it's 100% acceptable to fall into that trap of thinking they are.
Your friends with benefits is NOT good relationship material, period. You probably want it to be long term so bad because deep down you know it's something you cannot have. I know I tend to chase when it's hard to get, but if it's there in front of me giving itself wholy I just don't seem to give a fvck. I'm ambivalent.
Think of this, the friends with benefits is likely nothing more because she's either interested more in some other guy she can't have, seeing another guy(s) (a.k.a. playing the field and not telling you to spare your feelings), or, and I hope for your sake, just really wants to be alone right now. If she can do what she does with you and have no feeling attatched then what does that say about her man?
The second girl, well, she's reality. And reality is the first girl you'd rather be with is more fantasy. The thing about fantasy girls is, even if they become reality, they rarely measure up to what we expected them to be.
My advice. Find someone new all together and just go with the flow of things on these two.
Hell, if they see you pursuing a third girl odds are one if not both of them will fight for your affection. It's how these things work man. Don't fight the system, use it to your advantage
Your friends with benefits is NOT good relationship material, period. You probably want it to be long term so bad because deep down you know it's something you cannot have. I know I tend to chase when it's hard to get, but if it's there in front of me giving itself wholy I just don't seem to give a fvck. I'm ambivalent.
Think of this, the friends with benefits is likely nothing more because she's either interested more in some other guy she can't have, seeing another guy(s) (a.k.a. playing the field and not telling you to spare your feelings), or, and I hope for your sake, just really wants to be alone right now. If she can do what she does with you and have no feeling attatched then what does that say about her man?
The second girl, well, she's reality. And reality is the first girl you'd rather be with is more fantasy. The thing about fantasy girls is, even if they become reality, they rarely measure up to what we expected them to be.
My advice. Find someone new all together and just go with the flow of things on these two.
Hell, if they see you pursuing a third girl odds are one if not both of them will fight for your affection. It's how these things work man. Don't fight the system, use it to your advantage
MmmSkyscraper
Diamond Member
- Jul 6, 2004
- 9,472
- 1
- 76
jman19
Lifer
- Nov 3, 2000
- 11,225
- 664
- 126
See if LTR is interested in you back. If not, keep hitting FWB until you find another girl. Don't bother trying to make FWB work out long term; if it works out to be a long term thing, great, but don't try to force it. FWB relationships usually don't work out.
If that's the case, stop waiting for her. The one she uses to fill the loneliness is highly unlikely to be the one who she's gets into a serious relationship with. If you turn down other girls waiting for her, you will feel that much more bitter when this FWB thing turns into nothing more.
For your own sanity, let her go now. Down the line she may ask you to be in a relationship, but it won't happen while you're filling her needs as a FWB. The only way to get her is to let her go anyway. Hopefully by the time she does come back, you're happy with someone else and don't want her anymore.
Somebody paste the "Swingers" conversation.
SViper
Senior member
- Feb 17, 2005
- 828
- 0
- 76
Ok, there are a couple of red flags here you are missing. No fault to you. You just may not be seeing them because you are emotionally attached to both girls. I'll point them out here:
1.a. FWB just got out of a 4-year relationship with a guy. She is going to need a lot longer than 2 months to get over him. I would give her 6 months to a year before she is ready for another serious relationship. Hell, she even told you she wasn't ready for it. You are just rebound guy for now. Think of it like this. Whenever another ATOTer breaks up with their SO, what does everyone tell him/her to do? Get out there and bang everything that's the opposite sex and w/ 2 legs. That is what she is doing now.
1.b. From my experiences (and others), FWB only last until one person develops feelings for the other. You my friend are at that point right now. You are developing feelings for your FWB, so it's time to break it off with her, whether or not you get with chick #2. Believe me, you will save both of you a lot of heartache right now if you get out of that relationship.
2. You are idealizing girl #2 way too much. You don't know anything about her yet. Have you dated her at all? My rule is that I have to date a girl for 2 months before I decide to get serious with her. It gives you time to see how she really is and how she will act when she is with you. She farts and takes sh!ts just like everyone else.
You really need to take a step back and see what's going on. That's my take on things. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.
1.a. FWB just got out of a 4-year relationship with a guy. She is going to need a lot longer than 2 months to get over him. I would give her 6 months to a year before she is ready for another serious relationship. Hell, she even told you she wasn't ready for it. You are just rebound guy for now. Think of it like this. Whenever another ATOTer breaks up with their SO, what does everyone tell him/her to do? Get out there and bang everything that's the opposite sex and w/ 2 legs. That is what she is doing now.
1.b. From my experiences (and others), FWB only last until one person develops feelings for the other. You my friend are at that point right now. You are developing feelings for your FWB, so it's time to break it off with her, whether or not you get with chick #2. Believe me, you will save both of you a lot of heartache right now if you get out of that relationship.
2. You are idealizing girl #2 way too much. You don't know anything about her yet. Have you dated her at all? My rule is that I have to date a girl for 2 months before I decide to get serious with her. It gives you time to see how she really is and how she will act when she is with you. She farts and takes sh!ts just like everyone else.
You really need to take a step back and see what's going on. That's my take on things. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.
Go for the LTR. FWB is almost always something short termed. It may be great now but what about 10 years later?
Look at it like this.... LTR for long term happiness. FWB for short term happiness. Which would you prefer?
Look at it like this.... LTR for long term happiness. FWB for short term happiness. Which would you prefer?
SP33Demon
Lifer
- Jun 22, 2001
- 27,928
- 143
- 106
Best advice in this thread.
This FWB girl isn't someone you want to be thinking about a LTR with, she's not relationship material. Real women who respect themselves don't do the FWB thing, esp just after a 4 year relationship.
Plus I can see all the veins in her leg (varicose in 10 years ftl).
My God, see pussification of American males thread.
The fact you have to ask after seeing your FWB pic is mind boggling.
PM me her number both my wife and I will take over for your spot.
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