YAGT: I think it's really over this time UPDATE

[OneOfTheseDays]

Me and my girlfriend have been fighting a lot for the past month, and I think tonight it's finally over. To be honest, I think deep down we're just not meant for each other and it became pretty obvious that we were incompatible. Still, despite all of our differences, I love her so much and she loves me the same.

Right now i'm just pretty bummed out at how things turned out, there were a lot of fights that could have been avoided and I could have made things a lot better instead of wanting to fight all the time. We both left the door open for a possibility of getting back together, but for the immediate future i think some time apart is definitely needed. It's really hard though because almost everyday and live minutes away from each other. I've got too much pride to call her or even contact her, and I don't think I even should because it will only remind me of her. Anyway I look at this situation it just sucks, even though I know it's for the best.

I know the best advice is to go back out there and meet new people and date again, but I just don't feel like meeting anyone new right now at all. To be honest, I just want to be alone, with nothing to do and nobody to bother me right now.

Newer Update:
Not sure if anyone cares, but this advice could help a lot of guys out. When a girl asks you for some space or time for herself, just give it to her, no questions asked. I'm very lucky my girlfriend was patient with me, and decided to stay with me through it all. Things aren't quite 100% yet, but they are getting there slowly. Trying to force a rapid recovery didn't make things any better, so the best solution is to just wait it all out. For me, I never wanted her more than when she wanted time away from me. I just needed to immerse myself in other activities like video games, basketball, and HW to keep level. As DearQT said, if it's meant to be it is meant to be. I was lucky in my case that it was meant to be.

 

[high]

Well, I feel your pain brother. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks before christmas, and she moved out immediately. Have not spoken to her since, and we both moved out from home to live together and dated for 3 years. I am now a bachelor and it's not bad, but I do think of the good old days once in a while.

:beer: for you, :beer: for me

 

[thomsbrain]

Originally posted by: high
Well, I feel your pain brother. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks before christmas, and she moved out immediately. Have not spoken to her since, and we both moved out from home to live together and dated for 3 years. I am now a bachelor and it's not bad, but I do think of the good old days once in a while.

:beer: for you, :beer: for me

EXACTLY the same thing happened to me. together 3 years, moved out to live together, left me 2 weeks before christmas, didn't talk to her for a long time. creepy.

it wasn't "not bad" for me, though. it was bad. i closed the bedroom door and didn't go in there for a couple months, no joke. slept on the couch and on the floor. i was a mess.

time numbs wounds, luckily.

 

[chrisms]

Drink and watch that South Park episode about the Sucubus, the woman sent from hell to suck the lifeblood out of a man.

 

[anxi80]

or watch 'chasing amy' and 'high fidelity'.

 

Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
Me and my girlfriend have been fighting a lot for the past month, and I think tonight it's finally over. To be honest, I think deep down we're just not meant for each other and it became pretty obvious that we were incompatible. Still, despite all of our differences, I love her so much and she loves me the same.

[All of the imps pointing and laughing:] Who got the last laugh now?

I've got too much pride to call her or even contact her, and I don't think I even should because it will only remind me of her.

Ah, you finally admitted it.

Listen, Sudheer: I know that you aren't feeling good at the moment, but I think that you should be reminded of what you said, and your attitude about a week ago. However, it's childish, so I'll put on my adult wear; I'm sorry you feel this way. I do hope that you consider things we told you previously. Don't smother any girls/women you are interested in. I'm afraid you were doing that here. Not only that: you presented it as an ultimatum. Consider toning down the pride too.

I commend you for still having the guts to post your situation, in spite of the last trouble you encountered. Hope for the best for you. Everything's gonna be alright!

 

[T2T III]

Originally posted by: high
Well, I feel your pain brother. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks before christmas, and she moved out immediately. Have not spoken to her since, and we both moved out from home to live together and dated for 3 years. I am now a bachelor and it's not bad, but I do think of the good old days once in a while.

:beer: for you, :beer: for me

Do you think you two should just meet up and talk - if not for just the sake of closure on the relationship? It seems like it would be so tough to just leave things in the state they are in.

 

[PowerMac4Ever]

My advice for your future relationships:

1. Don't listen to luvly/DearQT

2. ...

3. Profit!

 

[gutharius]

Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
Me and my girlfriend have been fighting a lot for the past month, and I think tonight it's finally over. To be honest, I think deep down we're just not meant for each other and it became pretty obvious that we were incompatible. Still, despite all of our differences, I love her so much and she loves me the same.

Right now i'm just pretty bummed out at how things turned out, there were a lot of fights that could have been avoided and I could have made things a lot better instead of wanting to fight all the time. We both left the door open for a possibility of getting back together, but for the immediate future i think some time apart is definitely needed. It's really hard though because almost everyday and live minutes away from each other. I've got too much pride to call her or even contact her, and I don't think I even should because it will only remind me of her. Anyway I look at this situation it just sucks, even though I know it's for the best.

I know the best advice is to go back out there and meet new people and date again, but I just don't feel like meeting anyone new right now at all. To be honest, I just want to be alone, with nothing to do and nobody to bother me right now.

1. give yourself time to heal
2. Use your experience to learn a lesson about yourself and about what it takes to make a relationship work.
3. Once these two are done head out again and be open to someone else in your life.

 

[simms]

I am single, and loving it. I was in your spot once... feel better.

 

[zoiks]

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: high
Well, I feel your pain brother. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks before christmas, and she moved out immediately. Have not spoken to her since, and we both moved out from home to live together and dated for 3 years. I am now a bachelor and it's not bad, but I do think of the good old days once in a while.

:beer: for you, :beer: for me

Do you think you two should just meet up and talk - if not for just the sake of closure on the relationship? It seems like it would be so tough to just leave things in the state they are in.

It depends on the situation. If you have been in a relationship for a long time then further acquaintence will probably lead into another relationship then more misery.
If you think you can be friends with her then do so. If not then move on and leave her behind.
I was in the same situation where we broke up, made up after a month and then broke up again. This cycle happened for about 6 times til finally I couldnt take it anymore and said goodbye to her.
Havent seen her or heard from her since. And I was with her for 4 years.

 

[TonyB]

post a pic of your GF and us (the atot community) will judge whether or not you should swallow your pride and get back with her.

 

[OneOfTheseDays]

You know I was feeling really down and out a couple hours ago, I didn't want to eat or do any work at all. I took a nap, shower, brushed my teeth, ate some dinner, and now I feel infinitely better. When I think about her now, I honestly don't miss her at all. My heart doesn't feel like it's sinking anymore either. I don't know what happened, but now I have the energy to go out and do everything that I've wanted to do but never had time for.

I never thought I'd be able to get over someone so quickly, but I'm glad I'm feeling better now. And DearQT, thanks a lot for the harsh words. I understand what you are saying now and it does make a lot of sense. But honestly, she's the one losing out here and not me. I could have and would have given her the world, but she just couldn't see it, she was just too interested in fighting with me and having her own way all the time. I think now I can still be friends with her, but I really don't care either way. If she comes back to me I don't think I'll be taking her back now, I need to see what else is out there before I can ever go back to her.

P.S. breakup sex, yah or nah? She offered it, on her period now but will be off in a couple days, so should I do it or not? I was leaning towards yes earlier but now I'm not so sure. I think it will only complicate and confuse things.

 

[Gulzakar]

stay away.

for christ sake...

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
You know I was feeling really down and out a couple hours ago, I didn't want to eat or do any work at all. I took a nap, shower, brushed my teeth, ate some dinner, and now I feel infinitely better. When I think about her now, I honestly don't miss her at all. My heart doesn't feel like it's sinking anymore either. I don't know what happened, but now I have the energy to go out and do everything that I've wanted to do but never had time for.

I never thought I'd be able to get over someone so quickly, but I'm glad I'm feeling better now. And DearQT, thanks a lot for the harsh words. I understand what you are saying now and it does make a lot of sense. But honestly, she's the one losing out here and not me. I could have and would have given her the world, but she just couldn't see it, she was just too interested in fighting with me and having her own way all the time. I think now I can still be friends with her, but I really don't care either way. If she comes back to me I don't think I'll be taking her back now, I need to see what else is out there before I can ever go back to her.

P.S. breakup sex, yah or nah? She offered it, on her period now but will be off in a couple days, so should I do it or not? I was leaning towards yes earlier but now I'm not so sure. I think it will only complicate and confuse things.

lol.... man you're crazy.... I say go for it... tear your heart out more.... make sure you get every little ounce of enjoyment out of it. Cuz you're going to pay for it severely.

-Max

 

[OneOfTheseDays]

has anyone here ever had a successful breakup/come back together story? or all they all doomed? i still have hope that things will turn out alright, but i mean it's hard to say right now where things will end up.

 

[NutBucket]

Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
has anyone here ever had a successful breakup/come back together story? or all they all doomed? i still have hope that things will turn out alright, but i mean it's hard to say right now where things will end up.

My honest opinion is that in these situations one person wants to stay together and the other wants to break up. I don't think its ever mutual that both ppl want to break up and then get back together.

 

Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
has anyone here ever had a successful breakup/come back together story? or all they all doomed? i still have hope that things will turn out alright, but i mean it's hard to say right now where things will end up.

Give it up, Sudheer Anne! You already said that you two are incompatible. Why push it? Even if it were to work, let it happen naturally, for it will never work with you forcing it (i.e., with aggressiveness). Most importantly, it appears you have a strong-willed and perhaps independent woman. (You're both stubborn, I think.) It is hard to persuade her otherwise. She has to come to that decision by herself.

 

[OneOfTheseDays]

I'm not pushing anything. We both agreed to tone things down a lot, and then we'll see where we go from there.

 

[EGGO]

Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
has anyone here ever had a successful breakup/come back together story? or all they all doomed? i still have hope that things will turn out alright, but i mean it's hard to say right now where things will end up.

In the process, you can say. I'll provide details when the time comes. Thankfully, my better half doesn't think like most girls.

 

[high]

Originally posted by: zoiks

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: high
Well, I feel your pain brother. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks before christmas, and she moved out immediately. Have not spoken to her since, and we both moved out from home to live together and dated for 3 years. I am now a bachelor and it's not bad, but I do think of the good old days once in a while.

:beer: for you, :beer: for me

Do you think you two should just meet up and talk - if not for just the sake of closure on the relationship? It seems like it would be so tough to just leave things in the state they are in.

It depends on the situation. If you have been in a relationship for a long time then further acquaintence will probably lead into another relationship then more misery.
If you think you can be friends with her then do so. If not then move on and leave her behind.
I was in the same situation where we broke up, made up after a month and then broke up again. This cycle happened for about 6 times til finally I couldnt take it anymore and said goodbye to her.
Havent seen her or heard from her since. And I was with her for 4 years.

Awesome comment. It actually feels really good to hear this kind of positive stuff from other members. Truly makes me feel that I am infact not alone. Thanks.

 

[OneOfTheseDays]

Well thought I'd update this, if anyone cares. It's hard to say what we are anymore, and I don't really even care anymore. I think I'm finally starting to get over her, and my heart is telling me to leave her and move on with my life.

What I want in my life is stability, and I've realized that I may never get it with her, her life is just a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions. I feel like I can still be friends with her, but my desire to have her is almost completely gone. I still think about her a lot, but I don't yearn for her anymore like I used to.

I think the turning point was when she told me she may still be in love with her ex-bf, and then proceeded to tell me she wasn't the next day. I realized that I can't and won't take this kind of crap from her anymore. I went out with a few friends to a party the other night. I looked around, and realized that there are a lot of women out there who would appreciate a guy like me, and who wouldn't put me through what she did in these past few weeks. I feel resolved because at the end of all of this, I know that I did all I could to save it, and it just didn't work out because of her problems.

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: PowerMac4Ever
My advice for your future relationships:

1. Don't listen to luvly/DearQT

2. ...

3. Profit!

lmao... she definately has an interesting point of view on relationships for sure.