YAGT: I need advice from the people who have more wisdom than me...

[BigToque]

I'm turning 24 in a couple of months. I'll be done university. I had been with my ex-gf for 3 years and we broke up 2 months ago. Lots of various problems, I think we both lost interest in trying to fix things and we mutually called it off.

I feel that we had a very special relationship. I knew a lot about her, and I think she knew just about everything about me. I felt completely comfortable with her, and she's the kind of person I wanted to experience everything with. Travel, movies, every holiday, etc. Everything.

My dilemma is, now that I'm single, I'm completely craving the single life. I want to go out and meet people, be free and just have fun with no attachment to anyone or anything.

I feel in my gut that I should try to get back together with her (I still love her, I know I do), and I know she has similar feelings towards me (the love, she says she wants time to reestablish her priorities, which is getting into medical school here in the city)

How do you get back into a serious relationship when you still have that longing to be single?

I always hear that you need to fight for something you want, but what do you do when what you want is split between two things?

 

[minendo]

How do you get back into a serious relationship when you still have that longing to be single?

You fvck a bunch of chicks (bar chicks perhaps) and then find one that you can stand. Now that you are free of the old ball and chain, live life, fvck chicks (beauty is only a light switch away), and then look for someone to start a serious relationship with.

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: minendo

How do you get back into a serious relationship when you still have that longing to be single?

You fvck a bunch of chicks (bar chicks perhaps) and then find one that you can stand. Now that you are free of the old ball and chain, live life, fvck chicks (beauty is only a light switch away), and then look for someone to start a serious relationship with.

Or paper bag.

 

[McGyver]

first, you have to find someone that totally digs the movie "get rich or die trying". good luck, tho.

 

[FallenHero]

Just be single. Don't look and just go about your life like you normally would. Things fall into place, its weird. Just tonight I went out to eat with friends. Met this amazing girl at BWW and gave her my number. If she calls, she calls. If not, I didn't really lose anything. Just have fun with it.

 

[PowerEngineer]

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

 

[Reckoner]

I thought you two were "just friends" now?


You see what I was saying now? Hanging out with ex-girlfriends is a horrible, dumb idea. It can conjur up those types of feelings again. And when these people end up getting back together, the underlying problems that caused the first breakup repeat themselves. It's a vicious circle you should choose not to partake in. But I have a feeling you're going to try it anyways.

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: PaulNEPats
I thought you two were "just friends" now?


You see what I was saying now? Hanging out with ex-girlfriends is a horrible, dumb idea. It can conjur up those types of feelings again. And when these people end up getting back together, the underlying problems that caused the first breakup repeat themselves. It's a vicious circle you should choose not to partake in. But I have a feeling you're going to try it anyways.

Love stinks.

I don't know what to do.

Live and learn I guess...

 

[allies]

I guess I don't have "wisdom" you speak of, but I'm just here to cheer(maybe?) you up. I've been with my current GF for two years (finishing up freshman year in college right now). If we ever break up, I'm sure it would be an amicable parting. I would be left in the same boat as you, not wanting to go around and fsck a bunch of girls...

IMO you should just go with the flow. Like another poster mentioned above, you might meet a cool girl. You don't have to fsck her right away like some people are suggesting, but if anything clicks, you have the opportunity of building a relationship and hooking up later down the road. At the point of establishing a relationship and becoming intimate I would think you could make a fair assessment if another girl is more appropriate than your ex. Also, building a relationship with another girl might make your ex really jealous, but at least she'd have a lot more respect for you than if you go sleeping around.

I see no point in going on a sex spree right after you've broken up with a girlfriend. Not that it offends me that other people do this, it's just not for me... I'd like a relationship before anything important (ie sex, gifts, etc is in place). I dunno... different strokes for different folks.

 

[PowerEngineer]

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

"Nailing a bunch of other girls" is definitely optional. You can meet other girls and see what kinds of relationships are possible without "nailing" them.

I do agree with Paul about ex-gfs. Letting yourself stay semi-attached to one (as you seem to be doing) is a horrible thing.

Good luck!

 

[bradruth]

Originally posted by: FallenHero
Just be single. Don't look and just go about your life like you normally would. Things fall into place, its weird. Just tonight I went out to eat with friends. Met this amazing girl at BWW and gave her my number. If she calls, she calls. If not, I didn't really lose anything. Just have fun with it.

Or just bag a bunch of badge bunnies.

 

[Goosemaster]

the amount of wisdom in this thread is seeping all over the floor...


oh god...I think it moved:Q

 

[allies]

Originally posted by: Goosemaster
the amount of wisdom in this thread is seeping all over the floor...


oh god...I think it moved:Q

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

Don't get back with her. Biggest mistake you'll ever make.

 

[allies]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

Don't get back with her. Biggest mistake you'll ever make.

How can you say this? My uncle dated my aunt in high school, broke up with her during college (separate colleges) and now is married to her. 2 kids. They've been married for over 10 years. One of two of my aunts/uncles in my family that have stayed together.

Your statement and my uncle's story don't quite match up.

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: allies

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

Don't get back with her. Biggest mistake you'll ever make.

How can you say this? My uncle dated my aunt in high school, broke up with her during college (separate colleges) and now is married to her. 2 kids. They've been married for over 10 years. One of two of my aunts/uncles in my family that have stayed together.

Your statement and my uncle's story don't quite match up.

1 out of numerous means nothing.

 

[allies]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: allies

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

Don't get back with her. Biggest mistake you'll ever make.

How can you say this? My uncle dated my aunt in high school, broke up with her during college (separate colleges) and now is married to her. 2 kids. They've been married for over 10 years. One of two of my aunts/uncles in my family that have stayed together.

Your statement and my uncle's story don't quite match up.

1 out of numerous means nothing.

I don't think it's the "biggest mistake [he'll] ever make" though. Especially if he truly enjoyed the 3 years with her and goes out with a couple other girls and makes the call then.

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: allies

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: allies

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Since you have so recently broken out of a long term relationship, it's understandable that you might enjoy the freedom of being "single". I suggest you give yourself more time to revel in it before thinking about a return to your ex-gf.

Even though you "know" you love her, you did break up for a reason. Give youreslf a chance to meet other girls. Test to see how "special" your ex-gf really is.

(bottom line somewhat similar to previous posts but less crassly expressed. )

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. The thing for me is, why would she want to get back with me if I've gone and nailed a bunch of other girls? I wouldn't want to get back with her if she started nailing other guys.

Don't get back with her. Biggest mistake you'll ever make.

How can you say this? My uncle dated my aunt in high school, broke up with her during college (separate colleges) and now is married to her. 2 kids. They've been married for over 10 years. One of two of my aunts/uncles in my family that have stayed together.

Your statement and my uncle's story don't quite match up.

1 out of numerous means nothing.

I don't think it's the "biggest mistake [he'll] ever make" though. Especially if he truly enjoyed the 3 years with her and goes out with a couple other girls and makes the call then.

For every 1 girl he goes out with, she, in turn, goes out with 5 and sleeps with 80% of them.