YAGT - I just found out something I never wanted to hear

[habib89]

you have to think about several things.. very hard... if knowing that she had sex with someone else is gonna be a problem, dump her.. if you think she'll ever leave you again, dump her... if you think you have an STD, both of you should go get checked... there are many reasons why she wanted this "break"... probably to see what sex was like with other people.. probably to see if you were the right guy... i think most, if not all, girls suffer from "grass is greener" syndrome... they're always wondering what else is out there.. now that your'e back together, you have to decide if you're greener than everyone else...

remember, that even if you didn't do anything during the three months, she did.. and you two were apart, so she can do what she wants... if that bothers you, then just end it now because it's goign to slowly eat away at you... but if you can get over it, then you can still have a very strong and great relationship.. you just have to let it go... it's not easy, but that's what you have to do... if you truely believe that she came back to you becuase you're better than everyone else, you should take that as a compliment... it's hard.. i know, i went through almost an identical situation.. but it's doable, and your relationship, should you want it to be, will be stronger than ever...

 

[clamum]

I had something similar happen to me with an ex-gf. She ended up dumping me a while later and I was pretty sad about it... but looking back it was probably for the better. Find someone else dude.

 

[Geekbabe]

1. you had broken up..that means both people are free to see other people and to have sex with them.

2, you should be using condoms from start to finish in any new relationship till you've both been medically cleared.getting back together with her means the clock is reset on this.

3.her friend could be lying.

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: hzl eyed grl
That's not necessarily true for everyone. I know I'm a rarity, but I didn't lose my virginity until two months before I turned 26. That was about 5 years ago.

Everything in life ususally follows a bell curve distribution and you are simply on the edge of the curve and rather atypical. Nothing wrong with that though.

3 standard deviation range

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
1. you had broken up..that means both people are free to see other people and to have sex with them.

2, you should be using condoms from start to finish in any new relationship till you've both been medically cleared.getting back together with her means the clock is reset on this.

3.her friend could be lying.

I agree both people are free after its over. However, I think if the breakup was relatively short, the other person is obligated to know about it before continuing with eachother again. For example my ex-gf dumped me after about a year and a half. We were broken up for a month and a half and then tried getting back together. It lasted about 2 days before I found out she was leading me on (why she couldn't just say "no" was beyond me) . Later I found out that right after we broke up the first time she was doing stuff with this other guy, who she was still doing stuff with after we went our seperate ways for good. She explicitly told me they were just friends and even joked around about how he isn't her type, etc. Had I known this I would've never touched her, because to me that equals technical cheating if you think you can break up with someone for a month just to screw your crush and then come back to me like nothing happened. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is my decision, not hers, if I want to pursue it after she has been with someone else.

I used to have some anger towards the guy but after that I felt bad for him. He probably doesn't know that we did stuff while he was falling for her, that on top of a bunch of other issues I'm glad not to have to deal with anymore.

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: Aquaman
damn it........ Paragraphs.......... learn to use them :Q

Cheers,
Aquaman

No kidding.
I just went to the cliffs.

 

[IMaN00BieGF]

Obviously she's a liar just wasting your time. She needs to grow up and you need to move on to bigger and better things

 

[herkulease]

what no condom?

I thought it was going to be "I like you as a brother" thread.

 

[txrandom]

Your girlfriend is a slut. Dump it.

 

[jjones]

I'm lost here. Everyone seems to think she's a liar and a slut. Okay, granted she flirted with the guy and decided she needed to break up to pursue greener pastures. Okay, not cool but it happens and at least she didn't cheat on you at that time. Then you two break up. Seems to me she should be able to do whatever she wants at that point, and you too, and apparently you did. So you get back together and in conversation she says she didn't have sex with anyone else but later you find out different.

Well, you have a right to be pissed, and I probably would be too, but I would realize I should get over it. Nothing ever good comes of talking about your past experiences in situations like this. Why would you want to know? So you can dwell on it? So you can imagine some guy porking the girl you love? WTF use is that? Now your choice is, get over it, or move on. The way you seem to feel, it's probably best for both of you that you move on.

What if she told you up front that she had sex with him? How does that help?

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: jjones
I'm lost here. Everyone seems to think she's a liar and a slut. Okay, granted she flirted with the guy and decided she needed to break up to pursue greener pastures. Okay, not cool but it happens and at least she didn't cheat on you at that time. Then you two break up. Seems to me she should be able to do whatever she wants at that point, and you too, and apparently you did. So you get back together and in conversation she says she didn't have sex with anyone else but later you find out different.

Well, you have a right to be pissed, and I probably would be too, but I would realize I should get over it. Nothing ever good comes of talking about your past experiences in situations like this. Why would you want to know? So you can dwell on it? So you can imagine some guy porking the girl you love? WTF use is that? Now your choice is, get over it, or move on. The way you seem to feel, it's probably best for both of you that you move on.

What if she told you up front that she had sex with him? How does that help?

she wouldnt have straight up lied to his face is the first thing it would have helped.

OP, you need to get your act together and move on. this isnt a huge deal, but if she will lie to you like that, it more than likely wont stop after just one time. you need to totally shut her out and find someone you can trust.