YAGT: I just broke up with my girlfriend. UPDATED!

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geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
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We have been going out for over 10 months now. She was always being impatient with me and making me feel bad. We had been fighting almost every week for the past few months. Lately, I haven't been sleeping well, because it really hurts to get into arguments and fights with someone you really care about. So, tonight.. i broke up with her. The fights were hurting me too much.


Update: She called me last Sunday and told me to pick up my things from her house... the conversation went alright, and towards the end of the conversation, she told me that she missed me. So, I drove over there and we had a nice lunch together. We decided that we would see eachother only a couple times a week and try to build back the relationship.

So, on Sunday I asked her to drive to go to the bookstore and she got all angry with me. We almost broke up again. She gets SOOOO emotional. I don't know what to do... we've been talking almost every day on the phone, but it seems like we get into a fight about something almost every day. I'm so tired of this... i don't know what to do. Should I try breaking up with her again? What should I do... please give me some advice. THX
 
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BatmanNate

Lifer
Jul 12, 2000
12,444
2
81
I'm sorry, brother. Good luck in the recovery process, and keep your head about you. You'll do fine. :beer:
 
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geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
4,679
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Yeah, thats what i'm gonna do. Its just hard when your stable with one girl for a while.
 
Zorba

Zorba

Lifer
Oct 22, 1999
15,613
11,255
136
At the beginning of the summer I broke up with my 10 month girlfriend. At first it really sucked and I was affaird I made the wrond choice, etc. But now I think it is the best thing I've done in a long time, and now I have actually been able to enjoy my summer without worrying about keeping her entertained.
 
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Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: geckojohn
Yeah, thats what i'm gonna do. Its just hard when your stable with one girl for a while.
Click to expand...

It is. You become accustomed to her, you start to view her as "the one". (well, maybe) The thought of being with someone else is alien.

An emotionally manipulative/abusive person is quite possibly one of the worst types of personalities I have had experience with. They will abuse you for months, years, and you won't realize it until you react. You view their reaction and realize the imbalance of power, the hold which they think they have over you - how fake and foolish their assertions seem when you assert your own pride, your own self-worth and needs.

It is painful now, the pain does pass. It takes time, and you will find other people. Just don't get too down on yourself in the meantime.

Shalom!
Nate
 
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geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
4,679
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Originally posted by: Orsorum
Originally posted by: geckojohn Yeah, thats what i'm gonna do. Its just hard when your stable with one girl for a while.
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It is. You become accustomed to her, you start to view her as "the one". (well, maybe) The thought of being with someone else is alien. An emotionally manipulative/abusive person is quite possibly one of the worst types of personalities I have had experience with. They will abuse you for months, years, and you won't realize it until you react. You view their reaction and realize the imbalance of power, the hold which they think they have over you - how fake and foolish their assertions seem when you assert your own pride, your own self-worth and needs. It is painful now, the pain does pass. It takes time, and you will find other people. Just don't get too down on yourself in the meantime. Shalom! Nate
Click to expand...

THanks for the support. You're right though...she is manipulative and she tried to control the relationship. I think she thought that I'd do whatever she wanted and treat her like a princess no matter what she would do.
 
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Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,419
8
81
Damn, sorry to hear that.. but it will probably be for the best. Fighting is no fun.. And after only 10 months too? Damn.

My girl and I have been going out for almost 2 years, and we have never faught.. we get into our little disagreements, but they never get out of hand.
 
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Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: geckojohn
THanks for the support. You're right though...she is manipulative and she tried to control the relationship. I think she thought that I'd do whatever she wanted and treat her like a princess no matter what she would do.
Click to expand...

Well, you do that for a while, and the tone for the relationship gets set (at least when I was young). I thought for a long time that if I treated her well, she would eventually change, that she wouldn't turn out like her mom, etc. If you ever want to see how a woman will be in thirty years, and how she will interact with you in your marriage, look at her parents. That is a far better indicator than anything you could tell by looking at her (the blinders aren't quite as strong).

Women do like to be treated well, and deserve to be (just as men do). Just don't over do it. There is give and take in any healthy relationship.
 
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geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
4,679
0
0
Originally posted by: Eli
Damn, sorry to hear that.. but it will probably be for the best. Fighting is no fun.. And after only 10 months too? Damn. My girl and I have been going out for almost 2 years, and we have never faught.. we get into our little disagreements, but they never get out of hand.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's why I think i made the best decision to end it now. I dont like having fights... that's cool that you've never had any real fights. Hopefully i can meet a girl someday like that.
 
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geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
4,679
0
0
Originally posted by: Orsorum
Originally posted by: geckojohn THanks for the support. You're right though...she is manipulative and she tried to control the relationship. I think she thought that I'd do whatever she wanted and treat her like a princess no matter what she would do.
Click to expand...
Well, you do that for a while, and the tone for the relationship gets set (at least when I was young). I thought for a long time that if I treated her well, she would eventually change, that she wouldn't turn out like her mom, etc. If you ever want to see how a woman will be in thirty years, and how she will interact with you in your marriage, look at her parents. That is a far better indicator than anything you could tell by looking at her (the blinders aren't quite as strong). Women do like to be treated well, and deserve to be (just as men do). Just don't over do it. There is give and take in any healthy relationship.
Click to expand...

EXACTLY! Omg... you should see her parents. Her mom runs the show a lot and her dad is quiet in the background.
 
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Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: SpiderX
You are beautiful. No matter what they say. Words can't bring you down.
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He's beautiful in every way, spiderx. Words can't bring him down, no, not today.
 
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Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: geckojohn
EXACTLY! Omg... you should see her parents. Her mom runs the show a lot and her dad is quiet in the background.
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Many men are like that. Just have to ask yourself if you want to be. (not saying it is a bad thing, some men prefer being passive) I didn't.
 
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geckojohn

Diamond Member
Nov 28, 2000
4,679
0
0
Yeah and i'm definately not one of those passive types either. There are a lot of girls that like an agressive guy.
 
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SpiderX

Golden Member
Jan 16, 2002
1,192
0
76
Originally posted by: Orsorum
Originally posted by: SpiderX
You are beautiful. No matter what they say. Words can't bring you down.
Click to expand...

He's beautiful in every way, spiderx. Words can't bring him down, no, not today.
Click to expand...

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone and the puzzle undone
That's the way it is :confused:

 
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Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,419
8
81
Originally posted by: geckojohn
Originally posted by: Eli
Damn, sorry to hear that.. but it will probably be for the best. Fighting is no fun.. And after only 10 months too? Damn. My girl and I have been going out for almost 2 years, and we have never faught.. we get into our little disagreements, but they never get out of hand.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's why I think i made the best decision to end it now. I dont like having fights... that's cool that you've never had any real fights. Hopefully i can meet a girl someday like that.
Click to expand...
We're both exactly the same in that regard... We would probably both break down to tears long before we were fighting.. lol.

I mean, we're two different people, so of course we aren't going to agree on everything.. but our disagreements are usually "fun" and upbeat in nature, or something.. Not sure how to explain it.

It's cool though. Don't worry, you will.. I never thought I would meet someone like my girlfriend, but here we are. ;)



 
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KK

Lifer
Jan 2, 2001
15,903
4
81
Umm...congrats...I guess...

Is it too soon to ask? :camera:

KK
 
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gigapet

Lifer
Aug 9, 2001
10,005
0
76
But I do know one thing though
Bitches, they come they go
Saturday through Sunday, Monday
Monday through Sunday yo
Maybe I'll love you one day
Maybe we'll someday grow
'Til then just sit your drunk ass
on that fuckin runway ho
 
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bootymac

Diamond Member
Aug 20, 2001
9,597
0
76
Wow. Your GF sounds exactly like my ex. When we broke up, I felt like I was freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! :D
 
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