YAGT - I have no confidence - Updated

txrandom

Diamond Member
Aug 15, 2004
3,773
0
71
So there is/was a pretty cute girl in my calculus class. Some times she stared at me while I walked into class and every once in a while during the actual lecture. I thought she might of been interested in me..but I never had the confidence to go talk to her or introduce myself after class. Why am I such a pvssy?

I have her Facebook link, but I think it would be too stalkerish of me to befriend her. What should I do or am I doomed to never talking to a girl who I think is attractive ever again?

Update -
I went to a physics review day, and I sat a seat away from her. We talked a couple times throughout the lecture. After the lecture she kind of stood around the lobby for a couple minutes while I was talking to my roommate. She then left and headed to over to where a couple fast food restaurants exist..by herself. I succeeded in talking to her, but I should of asked her if she wanted to get something to eat. I fail at life...
 

InlineFive

Diamond Member
Sep 20, 2003
9,599
2
0
The worst that can happen is that she rejects you and forgets you. How big of a deal is that? Remember: There are many fish in the sea. :)
 

postmortemIA

Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2006
7,721
40
91
If she likes you, wouldn't she have added you in facebook already?

Maybe you look like clown, and she always wonders whats wrong with you, thus the staring.
 

txrandom

Diamond Member
Aug 15, 2004
3,773
0
71
Yah, I think I might befriend her on Facebook over Christmas Break. I still have the exam for the class and would see her again. So if I went with the Facebook stalking route, it might get awkward.

We could possibly be in 2-3 of the same classes next semester, and we both pick at the same time which means they could be the same section. I guess this could be a good or bad thing though...
 

txrandom

Diamond Member
Aug 15, 2004
3,773
0
71
Originally posted by: postmortemIA
If she likes you, wouldn't she have added you in facebook already?

Maybe you look like clown, and she always wonders whats wrong with you, thus the staring.


That's true, but she could of been thinking the same thing as I am. "This guy might think I'm a creep." or she might not even know my name since I go by middle name.
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Here's the thing...just think like every woman wants you. Just because you can't pick up on the signals doesn't mean you shouldn't act. What's the worse that can happen? They say no? Bah, you don't catch if you don't cast.

I'll let you in on a little secret.....I used to be somewhat insecure back in high school/early college. Then I decided to do something about it. It was confirmed at my 10 year high school reunion that I was utterly clueless. Lots of ladies told me "Man, you were such a doll I had the biggest crush on you but you never did anything!!!"

Women are not going to fall into your lap and beg you to nail them. You are expected to initiate contact and intentions. So just do it. None of this friends crap. Talk to them for a few minutes and just say "hey, you seem like somebody I'd like to get to know better. Let's get together and go out on a date. What's your number?"

5 minutes of effort and she either gives you her number (you're in) or not. Most likely she'll retort "what did you have in mind?" so just use your standard first date stuff. Once you get shot down a couple times you no longer have that fear of rejection.
 

stinkycheese

Member
Nov 9, 2003
143
0
76
Assuming you aren't making this up, please talk to her in person before becoming Facebook friends. Maybe you could study together for the exam. Then you would already have something to talk about and you could add in some get-to-know-you stuff.
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: InlineFive
The worst that can happen is that she rejects you and forgets you. How big of a deal is that? Remember: There are many fish in the sea. :)

:) Exactly.
 

50cent1228

Platinum Member
Oct 5, 2006
2,426
0
0
Originally posted by: InlineFive
The worst that can happen is that she rejects you and forgets you. How big of a deal is that? Remember: There are many fish in the sea. :)

good advice i was gonna say the same thing.... don't be a pu$$y just ask
 

txrandom

Diamond Member
Aug 15, 2004
3,773
0
71
Originally posted by: spidey07
Here's the thing...just think like every woman wants you. Just because you can't pick up on the signals doesn't mean you shouldn't act. What's the worse that can happen? They say no? Bah, you don't catch if you don't cast.

I'll let you in on a little secret.....I used to be somewhat insecure back in high school/early college. Then I decided to do something about it. It was confirmed at my 10 year high school reunion that I was utterly clueless. Lots of ladies told me "Man, you were such a doll I had the biggest crush on you but you never did anything!!!"

Women are not going to fall into your lap and beg you to nail them. You are expected to initiate contact and intentions. So just do it. None of this friends crap. Talk to them for a few minutes and just say "hey, you seem like somebody I'd like to get to know better. Let's get together and go out on a date. What's your number?"

5 minutes of effort and she either gives you her number (you're in) or not. Most likely she'll retort "what did you have in mind?" so just use your standard first date stuff. Once you get shot down a couple times you no longer have that fear of rejection.


The thing is I'm super shy when it comes to meeting people especially girls. Once I'm around friends, I'm pretty outgoing..but making those friends is tough. The only time I can start up a conversation in public is too a complete stranger like on the bus or waiting in line...
 

xtknight

Elite Member
Oct 15, 2004
12,974
0
71
You know, the way I do it, just think of everyone else as a set of ant colonies. You can step on them, etc, do whatever you like, and you don't care what the ant colonies think.
 

sindows

Golden Member
Dec 11, 2005
1,193
0
0
To answer your question, its most likely because you are shy around women. The best cure is to get over your nervousness and start talking. If you run out of clever things to say, make something up. Better yet, talk to her about the exam thats coming up. Perfect chance to get some time with her especially if she isn't sitting around people she knows...
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: txrandom
Originally posted by: spidey07
Here's the thing...just think like every woman wants you. Just because you can't pick up on the signals doesn't mean you shouldn't act. What's the worse that can happen? They say no? Bah, you don't catch if you don't cast.

I'll let you in on a little secret.....I used to be somewhat insecure back in high school/early college. Then I decided to do something about it. It was confirmed at my 10 year high school reunion that I was utterly clueless. Lots of ladies told me "Man, you were such a doll I had the biggest crush on you but you never did anything!!!"

Women are not going to fall into your lap and beg you to nail them. You are expected to initiate contact and intentions. So just do it. None of this friends crap. Talk to them for a few minutes and just say "hey, you seem like somebody I'd like to get to know better. Let's get together and go out on a date. What's your number?"

5 minutes of effort and she either gives you her number (you're in) or not. Most likely she'll retort "what did you have in mind?" so just use your standard first date stuff. Once you get shot down a couple times you no longer have that fear of rejection.


The thing is I'm super shy when it comes to meeting people especially girls. Once I'm around friends, I'm pretty outgoing..but making those friends is tough. The only time I can start up a conversation in public is too a complete stranger like on the bus or waiting in line...

"Hi" works wonders. "Nice weather we're having".

Just put forth the effort. Seriously, just get over the fact that not every girl is going to fall at your feet and light up.

All I'm saying is building confidence takes effort (and I'm not just talking women, confidence in everything). You will be so deeply rewarded by developing it in all aspects of your life.
 

xtknight

Elite Member
Oct 15, 2004
12,974
0
71
Do things that make you feel confident. Working out does wonders, and doing stuff that makes you happy is good as well. Do something you'll be proud of and show it off.
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: txrandom
Update -
I went to a physics review day, and I sat a seat away from her. We talked a couple times throughout the lecture. After the lecture she kind of stood around the lobby for a couple minutes while I was talking to my roommate. She then left and headed to over to where a couple fast food restaurants exist..by herself. I succeeded in talking to her, but I should of asked her if she wanted to get something to eat. I fail at life...

Seriously OP, WTH is wrong with just asking her to go eat. After your final wait around till she is done and then ask her if she want to just let off some steam after studying so much. It seems that she is into you, and you seem to be obseesed with her, so ask her to do something already!
 

Wapp

Golden Member
Jun 5, 2003
1,648
0
0
****** or get off the pot dude! Everyone here is giving you great advice now act on it.
 

Rumpltzer

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2003
4,815
33
91
I love ATOT.


From what you're saying, I think you might have a shot. Catch up to her after class and just talk to her. Don't ask to be her boyfriend or tell her to stick out her hand; just talk to her.

If it feels right and you can work up the nerve, ask where she's headed off to (casually) and maybe ask her if she wants to grab lunch/dinner/coffee/whatever if she's free at the moment. If she rejects, don't make a big deal. Sit near her the next day and see what happens.

Report back.

Good luck!
 

txrandom

Diamond Member
Aug 15, 2004
3,773
0
71
Originally posted by: Rumpltzer
I love ATOT.


From what you're saying, I think you might have a shot. Catch up to her after class and just talk to her. Don't ask to be her boyfriend or tell her to stick out her hand; just talk to her.

If it feels right and you can work up the nerve, ask where she's headed off to (casually) and maybe ask her if she wants to grab lunch/dinner/coffee/whatever if she's free at the moment. If she rejects, don't make a big deal. Sit near her the next day and see what happens.

Report back.

Good luck!

Class if over for the semester besides the final..which I won't be doing much talking in. I could maybe work up the nerve to ask her if she wants to get some dinner after the exam.

Should I leave Facebook messaging out of this? I think that's why my confidence is ****** because I talk to too many people over the internet.
 

MmmSkyscraper

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2004
9,475
1
76
Originally posted by: xtknight
You know, the way I do it, just think of everyone else as a set of ant colonies. You can step on them, etc, do whatever you like, and you don't care what the ant colonies think.

STOMP STOMP STOMP!

MUHAHAHA! :)