So there's this girl I've been longing for for quite a while. We've gotten pretty close and I recently asked her out on a date. She gave me the old "I love you as a friend and i wouldn't want to risk that..." So, after some reflection, I texted her - "I would be willing to take that risk and i'm sorry that you won't - bye." two days later she calls me and says that she'd miss me too much and said that she'd be willing to try dating. it works, it's really does work!
YAGT: "I already have enough friends" actually works!
- Thread starter slackerinabox
- Start date
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.
Good luck to you though.
Good luck to you though.
That's what I'm saying. The reason so many ATers get stuck in the "friends zone" is because they never try and get out of it. Either that, or they never had a chance in the first place.
Yeah i've been playing the "I already have enough friends" card for a while now. It's never failed me yet.
I agree that's why i've never done it.. But I meant what I said - I was willing to take the risk and, if she wasn't, then I'd feel awkward just being friends when it's clear that I want something more. I wasn't manipulating her and just expected to never see her again, but it ended in a different way.. not that I called her back yet to schedule a date or anything... i just sometimes people need to be reminded that you're important to them as well
Isn't the real problem the fact that you got into the friend zone in the first place? It's the social event horizon as far as I'm concerned; you're not getting out. You may be able to try to withold something like the OP has done, and you may actually succeed in getting a piece; however, it seems it would be at the cost of the friendship.
IMO. I've never been in a friend zone with a woman, but I've had women who I considered only friends. I simply wouldn't be able to think of them otherwise no matter what they said/did.
And her being your friend didn't remind you enough? I'd think she'd see your thinly veiled attempt to score a piece of ass, but she might be willing to ignore it as she values your friendship.
Ok, enough of my antagonism. Good luck again
Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.
Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.
Originally posted by: Descartes
And her being your friend didn't remind you enough? I'd think she'd see your thinly veiled attempt to score a piece of ass, but she might be willing to ignore it as she values your friendship.
Ok, enough of my antagonism. Good luck again
Here's the thing, I don't just want a piece of ass - I really like the girl and have warm/gushy feelings for her. My approach for girls I just want to score with? I never talk to them, I never hang out with them. I don't want to get close to girls I don't really appreciate on multiple levels. Here was a case where I liked everything about a girl - I love spending time with her and, yes, find her attractive. The problem is that I would love to see the friendship grow but I felt she rudely put a halt to even giving me a chance, so I was willing to cut her off. My best relationships were always with friends, friends I still hang out with, so this is part of what I want in a relationship. So, yeah, I understand what you're saying about just wanting ass and tricking her into submission, but that's not the case here.. I kinda really like this girl and wanted to take her out to dinner and have an old fashioned date - if i wanted to do her i'd just get her drunk, but the last time she got drunk I tucked her into my bed and slept on the couch.
pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Descartes
And her being your friend didn't remind you enough? I'd think she'd see your thinly veiled attempt to score a piece of ass, but she might be willing to ignore it as she values your friendship.
Ok, enough of my antagonism. Good luck again
Here's the thing, I don't just want a piece of ass - I really like the girl and have warm/gushy feelings for her. My approach for girls I just want to score with? I never talk to them, I never hang out with them. I don't want to get close to girls I don't really appreciate on multiple levels. Here was a case where I liked everything about a girl - I love spending time with her and, yes, find her attractive. The problem is that I would love to see the friendship grow but I felt she rudely put a halt to even giving me a chance, so I was willing to cut her off. My best relationships were always with friends, friends I still hang out with, so this is part of what I want in a relationship. So, yeah, I understand what you're saying about just wanting ass and tricking her into submission, but that's not the case here.. I kinda really like this girl and wanted to take her out to dinner and have an old fashioned date - if i wanted to do her i'd just get her drunk, but the last time she got drunk I tucked her into my bed and slept on the couch.
Ok, I understand things a little better now. Sounds like you're more of a gentleman that simply needs to cut through the nonsense by being direct. I can appreciate that. I can empathize with that.
:thumbsup:
Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.
I still talk to the girl I dated when I was 12 (13 years ago, gasp) and am taking out my last ex dancing tonight. I'm pretty good with keeping the friendship going, maybe it's because I have a low sex drive? wait, did I say that outloud?
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 23K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter