YAGT: How will I make my relationship last through college?

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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
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So I've been dating a girl now for almost two years. Am I allowed to say I love the girl when I'm only 18 years old? I want to.

She is 10 months younger than me, I'm going to college in the fall, she will be a senior in high school. My college is only an hour away BUT I will not have a car my freshman year.

So do you think it'll be rough? Is it possible to make it last? I'm being extremely discouraged by all the asses I'm surrouded by who say you'll be broken up within a month. I don't think they realize how upsetting that is to me when they mention that and say how likely it is.

What do you think, is it possible? Or completely unheard of?

 
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randal

Golden Member
Jun 3, 2001
1,890
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71
you won't. might as well dump her and hit everything you can that's on campus.

that's what everybody else does -- there is no place like college for tons of free, random, consensual sex.
 
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TitanDiddly

Guest
Dec 8, 2003
12,696
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I know a guy that kept a relationship going from high school through 4 years of college, being several states away, a 9 hour drive.
 
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Bacardi151

Senior member
Dec 15, 2003
540
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sure it's possible, but the probability would've been less if she was the one going to college and you staying behind. you better hope she goes to the same college as you next year.
 
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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
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76
Originally posted by: Bacardi151
sure it's possible, but the probability would've been less if she was the one going to college and you staying behind. you better hope she goes to the same college as you next year.
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She definitely won't be.
 
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pkananen

Senior member
Mar 13, 2003
644
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you can do it...but the question is whether its worth it. and whether she will think its worth it. girls change a lot between 18 and 20....its risky. i dated a girl from 18 to 22, we were engaged the last 1.5 yrs. She broke the engagement out of the blue a year and a half ago. Honestly, a committed relationship in college will take away a lot of what those years can offer. i think if you both loved each other you would realize that time and space is needed in your college years that will be better for both of you.
 
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Semidevil

Diamond Member
Apr 26, 2002
3,017
0
76
it'll be rough....but you can do it.

you need to realize that it weill be different...less time to see eachother, and more trust is needed
 
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MazerRackham

Diamond Member
Apr 4, 2002
6,572
0
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Why would you want to date the same girl all the way through college? Dude, YOU CAN GET WITH SO MANY CHICKS IN COLLEGE IT'S SICKENING NOW THAT I'M OUT OF COLLEGE. STAY SINGLE IN COLLEGE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
 
arcenite

arcenite

Lifer
Dec 9, 2001
10,660
7
81
You can make it work... I may be going to college an hour away leaving my fiance behind and plan on coming home on the weekends (only thing that's different, I can have a car). If you are true to be, you will.
 
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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
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76
Guys...don't get me wrong...I KNOW THE TEMPTATIONS THAT WILL FACE ME IN COLLEGE.

Of course I will be tempted to act on them. As much as I hate to say it, SHE will be tempted to act on them, too, once SHE goes to college NEXT fall.

The thing is, I know that if I cheated on her and ended it, I would be miserable thereafter, because she is such a major portion of my life and I can't picture functioning without her.
 
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Detayned1447

Member
Mar 2, 2005
127
0
0
Aren't you the same guy that is in his 20's and his girlfriend is in college and you just work? You just had another thread about that.
 
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Yossarian

Lifer
Dec 26, 2000
18,010
1
81
Originally posted by: archcommus
The thing is, I know that if I cheated on her and ended it, I would be miserable thereafter, because she is such a major portion of my life and I can't picture functioning without her.
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you should try picture her smoking massive pole, because that's what she'll be doing freshman year. sorry but it's true.
 
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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
0
76
Originally posted by: Yossarian
Originally posted by: archcommus
The thing is, I know that if I cheated on her and ended it, I would be miserable thereafter, because she is such a major portion of my life and I can't picture functioning without her.
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you should try picture her smoking massive pole, because that's what she'll be doing freshman year. sorry but it's true.
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Well that's still a year away. For now we're talking about ME in college and HER in high school.

 
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Injury

Lifer
Jul 19, 2004
13,066
2
81
First off, mark it with a "YAGT" tag. (If you aren't going to take it to yagt.org, at least do this.)

Second, get over it now. High School relationships are a bunch of BS 99% of the time.

If you are too much of a sissy to deal with that fact, come to the agreement that you two are still together, but while you are at college you are safe dating other people, so long as you don't fool around. Then when some perfect, matured, educated girl comes your way, you'll be happy.

College will change your life in only a matter of weeks. In those weeks, you do more maturing than you have done in the entire previous portion of your life. With that comes new thoughts about women. She will have the same thoughts about men. Best to end on a high note than to be bitter that one of you cheated on the other.
 
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Detayned1447

Member
Mar 2, 2005
127
0
0
My bad. But anyways yea man it can last. I am going to college right now and my girlfriend is in high school. We are doing great, and it just makes the time you have together that much better. And yes you can say you love her if you do, I know I loved her when I was only 18. So yes it can work if you two put effort into it. What you can endure will only make you stronger
 
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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
0
76
Originally posted by: Injury
First off, mark it with a "YAGT" tag. (If you aren't going to take it to yagt.org, at least do this.)

Second, get over it now. High School relationships are a bunch of BS 99% of the time.

If you are too much of a sissy to deal with that fact, come to the agreement that you two are still together, but while you are at college you are safe dating other people, so long as you don't fool around. Then when some perfect, matured, educated girl comes your way, you'll be happy.

College will change your life in only a matter of weeks. In those weeks, you do more maturing than you have done in the entire previous portion of your life. With that comes new thoughts about women. She will have the same thoughts about men. Best to end on a high note than to be bitter that one of you cheated on the other.
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Well how do you identify a high school relationship that is in that 1%?

I won't argue with you about the maturity change in college; I will be experiencing that, she won't. But I don't see why we should cut it off when things are good. That's just not possible, as it's FORCING yourself to be miserable. Doesn't that mean we should just play it be ear and see what happen as we get to it?

 
BeauJangles

BeauJangles

Lifer
Aug 26, 2001
13,941
1
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Let me just tell you now that Long Distance Relationships (regardless of how far they actually are), really suck. It sucks because you are so far from someone you care about and, at college, there are all these chicks that want to get with you. It also sucks because you know if you end it you will be very upset.

That being said, college rocks. Girls in college rock. You will want to go meet other people. It will be VERY hard to maintain this relationship and you probably will find yourself not even wanting to. I know that happened to me.
 
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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
0
76
Well, if I got into a position where I didn't want to maintain the relationship anymore, then it wouldn't upset me to end it....would it? But that would lead to a very sad situation for her.

I disagree with cutting it off early while it's good. It seems dumb to end things when nothing has gone wrong yet. What I need to do is to be mature enough to end things soon enough if I think I'm about to give in to something.

Above all, I know I will want to meet new girls, but I keep thinking that no matter how much I do, I'll keep realizing that none of it is TRULY fulfilling and promising, and that is why I won't want to lose her.

And it's hard to talk to her about this because it makes her cry too quickly.
 
Zenmervolt

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
42
91
Originally posted by: archcommus
I can't picture functioning without her.
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Danger signal, right there. You need to know that you're perfectly fine on your own before you can really have a decent relationship with her. Co-dependance isn't healthy.

That said, it's entirely possible to keep things together under the circumstances you describe. But you both need to be willing to put a lot of work into things.

ZV
 
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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
0
76
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: archcommus
I can't picture functioning without her.
Click to expand...
Danger signal, right there. You need to know that you're perfectly fine on your own before you can really have a decent relationship with her. Co-dependance isn't healthy.

That said, it's entirely possible to keep things together under the circumstances you describe. But you both need to be willing to put a lot of work into things.

ZV
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It's bad to be dependent on someone you have a serious relationship with?
 
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