YAGT: How should I approach this girl...

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thehstrybean

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 2004
5,727
1
0
This girl that I know had been dating this guy (he was an absolute a$$hole) that graduated in my class. Everyone told her that it would end badly, but that's besides the point. Anyways. I've liked her for a long time and we like a lot of the same things. We get a long great. How should I approach her to ask her out. It's been a while since they broke up, and I don't know how to ask. Any help is appreciated.

1. Girl I like broke up with a$$hole boyfriend (about a month ago)
2. I want to know how to approach her to ask her out
3. ...
4. Profit?

Update: I asked her, and she's busy Friday & Saturday, but she is free Monday and we're going to my Christmas party. She was really excited about it. w00t!!

CLARIFICATION: It's not a company Christmas party, it's a party with friends...
 
spaceman

spaceman

Lifer
Dec 4, 2000
17,616
183
106
how much of it is he is actually an @sshole and how much of it is simply a character assassination by the girl?
oh wait, I'm sure she's without flaw and he is hitler in patent leather.
beware of the girl with an ass for a guy becuase that could be you.
 
T

thehstrybean

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 2004
5,727
1
0
Originally posted by: ncircle
how much of it is he is actually an @sshole and how much of it is simply a character assassination by the girl?
oh wait, I'm sure she's without flaw and he is hitler in patent leather.
beware of the girl with an ass for a guy becuase that could be you.
Click to expand...

He graduated in my class...barely...

He really is an ass...I knew him, and he was almost kicked out of school 5 times for drugs...the only reason they kept him there was because of baseball...
 
AreaCode707

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,447
133
106
Would you be interested in going out to dinner on _____day?

Bring a single rose when you pick her up (just that once). It makes your intent clear so she doesn't have the "I thought you just were interested as a friend," line to feed you.
 
FoBoT

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,084
15
81
fobot.com
PM her this "thehstrybean would like to know if you would accompany thehstrybean to dinner and a movie on saturday"
 
wheresmybacon

wheresmybacon

Diamond Member
Sep 10, 2004
3,899
1
76
Call her and ask her if she would like to go out on a date with you on <insert specific night>.

EDIT: Since you know her already you need to include the word "date" in your query. Otherwise you're going to evermore remain in "friends" land.
 
D

DeadByDawn

Platinum Member
Dec 22, 2003
2,349
0
0
My best successes came from

"Hey, I'm going to go do (insert activity here) on friday night, would you like to come?"

 
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archiloco

Golden Member
Dec 10, 2004
1,826
0
71
Originally posted by: thehstrybean
Originally posted by: ncircle
how much of it is he is actually an @sshole and how much of it is simply a character assassination by the girl?
oh wait, I'm sure she's without flaw and he is hitler in patent leather.
beware of the girl with an ass for a guy becuase that could be you.
Click to expand...

He graduated in my class...barely...

He really is an ass...I knew him, and he was almost kicked out of school 5 times for drugs...the only reason they kept him there was because of baseball...
Click to expand...

just go to her and say, what are you doing friday night? if she responds "i don't know" then say i suggest we go out and have some dinner, maybe then make out.
 
anxi80

anxi80

Lifer
Jul 7, 2002
12,294
2
0
"hey, are you free friday night?"
"yeah!"
"good! because i plan to go out with my friends and get tanked and i could really use someone to drive me home at 2am!"
 
R

Riverhound777

Diamond Member
Aug 13, 2003
3,360
61
91
Try: "I know you usually only go out with assholes, but if you want to try something different, I'd like to take you out Friday."
 
GuitarDaddy

GuitarDaddy

Lifer
Nov 9, 2004
11,465
1
0
Originally posted by: FoBoT
PM her this "thehstrybean would like to know if you would accompany thehstrybean to dinner and a movie on saturday"
Click to expand...


Blackrod and/or Blackinches would approve
 
M

MisterJackson

Lifer
Jun 19, 2004
10,860
1
81
Originally posted by: DeadByDawn
My best successes came from

"Hey, I'm going to go do (insert activity here) on friday night, would you like to come?"
Click to expand...


This approach is best, and really protects both of you. See, if she says no, then you didn't really ask her out per se, just "along", so the sting of rejection is lessened. Also if she says no she at least sees that your plans that night didn't hinge on her saying yes or no. then she's aware that you're going out either way and I promise you she'll think about that and likely start to wonder "If he's going out and having fun then why did I say no?".

the "asking along" method also gives you three strikes. If I "ask along" and she says no then I usually try again in a few weeks if it's a girl I see alot and really like. Sometimes just that second, showing a little persistance, really wows a girl.

I've only once had to do it a third time and she said "Sure, why not, sounds like you guys have fun when you go out.".

Just relax and don't force it out, that will come through no matter how many times you rehearse it in your head. And for God's sake, don't come up with a script because if she throws you a curve ball you have to be able to improv on a seconds notice.

Just look at her as one of your best friends and talk to her like you'd talk to one of them, THEN realize you wanna bang her brains out after the ice is broken. The whole "I'm getting nervous" thing usually stems from a guy going ga ga over the vagina. treat it as nothing more than a convo with your best bud, you wouldn't want to bang him would you? I hope not, if so, then you posted the wrong thread!
 
O

OVerLoRDI

Diamond Member
Jan 22, 2006
5,490
4
81
Originally posted by: Devine
Since you've known her for a long time are you sure that your not in the friend zone?
Click to expand...

The friend zone is almost impossible to pull out of.

Just walk up to her and ask if she'd like to go on a date with you to somewhere.
 
Jeff7

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
20
81
Originally posted by: FoBoT
PM her this "thehstrybean would like to know if you would accompany thehstrybean to dinner and a movie on saturday"
Click to expand...

That only works for BlackInches.


Correct question: "The guys on Anandtech's Off Topic forum need pics of you to decide if you're hot enough for me to go out with. Can I get your picture? Here, hold this sign that I printed, proving that you are in fact who I'm claiming you are."
 
D

Dacalo

Diamond Member
Mar 31, 2000
8,778
4
76
Originally posted by: randay
point a gun at her and say "get in the car, and if you scream, i'll kill you!"
Click to expand...

HAHAHA! I don't know why, but that cracked me up! Now my co-workers are like WTF? :eek:
 
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