YAGT: Going after a girl with a bf? *UPDATE 4*

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BD2003

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: DougK62
Do people really "beat up" guys that try to "steal their girl"? How old are you guys? 15-16?

If I knew him, and he knew me, I most definintely would make him bleed.

If I didnt know him, but he knew this girl was my girl, and she dumped me specifically to get with him, and I didnt want out myself, It'd depend on the guy, but chances are its a yes, unless he's twice my size.

If he didnt know me, and I didnt know him, and she lied and didnt mention me to him, I'd probably ruin her life in a non-violent fashion, and let the guy know how many STDs she has. :p
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
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Why do you need to ask this question? Go for it, she's single and old enough to make her choices.
 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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Originally posted by: azazyel
How can you possibly say that no one has made an actual commitment?
Have you looked your girlfriend in the eye and said "I will never leave, mistreat you, or cheat on you, for as long as I live." ?

That's so friggen cute. The government can kiss my arse and get out of my personal life. My family and friends are of no concern when it come to who I love and who I choose to be with. And god, well I while I am a religious person I don't think that god is all that crazy for ceremony.

Get back to me after you get married and maybe you'll get it.

Don't plan on it anytime soon. I trust in my partner enough not to need a contract.

If you don't believe in getting married then what do you care what it means?

Fact of the matter is that there's no foul in going after a girl that is not married. If she goes, she goes willingly and without violating any oath, contract, or vow.

A guy going after a girl that is married is really only committing a minor foul. After all - it's all up to her to tell him where to go and if she doesn't, that's not the guy's fault. But if a guy would want others to respect his marriage, he ought to do the same for them.
 

Ynog

Golden Member
Oct 9, 2002
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Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
I don't think her bf gives her the respect that she deserves anyways. The guy's a tool..

Its funny, I don't know how many times I've heard this about from someone about the boyfriend of some girl whom they want to go out with.

I'm going to generalize here, but you think you might be able to do better than that guy. And of course since you like her, you will give her the respect she deserves. From my experience most of the time you really don't know this guy.

And also, do you really think its less scummy to try to work from the inside under the guise of friendship and break a couple up that way. If you were going out with a girl, would you want one of her friends to sit there and start saying how much better she will be with him than you because you are a tool. And you don't give her the respect she deserves.

And lastly, if you can break up that way, someone can steal her away just as easily.

My advice, be yourself and be her friend. If she develops feelings for you (on her own) that way, then worry about the situation. Otherwise its scummy. But if you can live with it. What do you care what we think.
 
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: DP
Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: DougK62
If you're in a relationship with a woman and she cheats on you it is NOT the guys fault! It is the whore of a woman that you're with that's to blame.

As stated earlier, it takes two to tango. However, it must be determined whether he knew she was involved with someone else or not. Either way, it's not going to change the end result, it's just going to change whether you feel badly for the poor bastard because he doesn't know what he's getting himself into or whether you loathe him just as much as you hate her.

i'm with nik on this one. it is the guys fault just as much as the girls. UNLESS(very rare) she just finds random guy and rapes him. then it's just the "whore of a womans" fault.

like i said before, if i was in the situation and knew i could whoop the other guy i would kick his ass so hard he could wear it as a hat. then dump the girl.

if he's bigger, well friends and or baseball bat.

120% internet tough guy.... watch out.



find one post of me trying to act "tough" over a forum. i'm by no means a tough guy over the internet. i'm sorry but if i walked in on a guy screwing my girl, my attitude problem would get the best of me. i haven't said anything i do is the right thing.

trust me i would dump the girl if she cheated on me but it would be pretty damn hard to just let the other guy go, sorry i guess?
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
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Originally posted by: Jzero
Originally posted by: azazyel
How can you possibly say that no one has made an actual commitment?
Have you looked your girlfriend in the eye and said "I will never leave, mistreat you, or cheat on you, for as long as I live." ?

Have you ever made a committment to something or someone without telling them you've made the committment? Does it somehow nullify the committment you make in your head/heart if you don't tell them you've made it?
 
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: DougK62
No way is it the guy's fault just as much as the girl's. If that were the case, then you could take the guy out of the equation and the relationship would just be fine and dandy.

Uh, no. Because it's partly her fault, and she's still in the picture, there would still be a problem. If a guy knows she's taken and pushes her to become unfaithful, he's somehow magically completely innocent??

Why's this so hard to understand? :confused:

QFT

seriously, how can the guy be pushed out of the picture that easy?
 

ggnl

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
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Originally posted by: DougK62
Do people really "beat up" guys that try to "steal their girl"? How old are you guys? 15-16?

What are you supposed to do, politely talk him out of it? Innocent flirtation is one thing. If the guy doesn't know she's my girl then he'll get away with a stern "Get the fvck off my koolaid". But if he is knowingly trying to undercut me he should not be surprised at all if things get violent.
 

91TTZ

Lifer
Jan 31, 2005
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Originally posted by: Jzero
If there's no ring on her finger, she's fair game. We are all free agents and if she dumps her boyfriend, she does it of her own free will. Of course if she leaves him for you, there's a solid chance she'll do it again when she gets bored with you - just keep that in mind.

The ring on the finger doesn't change much. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If she's that easy to steal as a guy's girlfriend, then she'll be that easy to steal as a man's wife.
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
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Originally posted by: DP
trust me i would dump the girl if she cheated on me but it would be pretty damn hard to just let the other guy go, sorry i guess?

Yeah I know how you feel. I never walked in on it so I can't be sure what I'd do if I did. However, judging how I react based on certain other situations that have happened, I would probably lose control over blind rage and ruin the rest of my life.
 
Oct 9, 1999
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call me barbaric if i fight someone over a girl, i don't really care. i've just come to realization that i'm not a pussy. i'm not the biggest ass whooper by ANY means, but i'm not a pussy.
 
Mar 15, 2003
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Originally posted by: ggnl
Originally posted by: DougK62
Do people really "beat up" guys that try to "steal their girl"? How old are you guys? 15-16?

What are you supposed to do, politely talk him out of it? Innocent flirtation is one thing. If the guy doesn't know she's my girl then he'll get away with a stern "Get the fvck off my koolaid". But if he is knowingly trying to undercut me he should not be surprised at all if things get violent.

This whole "he's going to kick your ass!" angle is so weird to me... I guess I'm older than you guys, no one in my social circle has gotten an ass whopping for any reason. We have lawyers ;)
 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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Originally posted by: Nik
Have you ever made a committment to something or someone without telling them you've made the committment? Does it somehow nullify the committment you make in your head/heart if you don't tell them you've made it?

It's a two-way street. Just because you think you feel it in your head and heart doesn't mean the other party does. Best to get it all right out on the table whether it's an actual wedding or just an informal agreement between two people.

When my wife and I first started dating exclusively, you can be damned sure that I came right out and said, "Hey, are you ready to take this to the next level and not date anyone else for awhile?"

You've got to be clear and open. That's a relationship fundamental in any case.
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,747
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Originally posted by: DP
Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: DougK62
If you're in a relationship with a woman and she cheats on you it is NOT the guys fault! It is the whore of a woman that you're with that's to blame.

As stated earlier, it takes two to tango. However, it must be determined whether he knew she was involved with someone else or not. Either way, it's not going to change the end result, it's just going to change whether you feel badly for the poor bastard because he doesn't know what he's getting himself into or whether you loathe him just as much as you hate her.

i'm with nik on this one. it is the guys fault just as much as the girls. UNLESS(very rare) she just finds random guy and rapes him. then it's just the "whore of a womans" fault.

like i said before, if i was in the situation and knew i could whoop the other guy i would kick his ass so hard he could wear it as a hat. then dump the girl.

if he's bigger, well friends and or baseball bat.

Congratulations, you now have an assault charge and a cheating girlfriend.
 

BD2003

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
16,815
1
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Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: ggnl
Originally posted by: DougK62
Do people really "beat up" guys that try to "steal their girl"? How old are you guys? 15-16?

What are you supposed to do, politely talk him out of it? Innocent flirtation is one thing. If the guy doesn't know she's my girl then he'll get away with a stern "Get the fvck off my koolaid". But if he is knowingly trying to undercut me he should not be surprised at all if things get violent.

This whole "he's going to kick your ass!" angle is so weird to me... I guess I'm older than you guys, no one in my social circle has gotten an ass whopping for any reason. We have lawyers ;)

It isnt age.
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,747
579
126
Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: Sex Smurf
No chick that you aren't committed to (or who isn't committed to you) is worth fighting over.

I really hope through all the posts, this stands out and rings out loud and clear. Also, fixed.

Exactly, the guy is still a dillhole...but why are you fighting over a whore? Let him have that bag of trouble and move on to bigger things.
 
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: DP
trust me i would dump the girl if she cheated on me but it would be pretty damn hard to just let the other guy go, sorry i guess?

Yeah I know how you feel. I never walked in on it so I can't be sure what I'd do if I did. However, judging how I react based on certain other situations that have happened, I would probably lose control over blind rage and ruin the rest of my life.

a good friend of mine who was with a girl for 2+ years went off to college together and lived with his gf. this couple was chosen for the "couple to most likely get married" in the senior yearbook. looked like the perfect couple. he walked in on her when she was playing hide the weenie with a guy in the apartment HE(my friend) paid for. he just walked out and never went back. i would not go back but i sure as hell wouldn't leave until some blood was shed. i guess he's a bigger man than me? :cookie: for him.
 

91TTZ

Lifer
Jan 31, 2005
14,374
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Originally posted by: PingSpike

Congratulations, you now have an assault charge and a cheating girlfriend.

Police will not charge a guy for getting in a fight with another guy. I've seen it happen many, many times. Unless you have one huge guy beating the crap out of some little guy, police have more important things to worry about than charging 2 healthy young guys with assaulting each other over a girl.

 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
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Originally posted by: 91TTZ
Originally posted by: Jzero
If there's no ring on her finger, she's fair game. We are all free agents and if she dumps her boyfriend, she does it of her own free will. Of course if she leaves him for you, there's a solid chance she'll do it again when she gets bored with you - just keep that in mind.

The ring on the finger doesn't change much. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If she's that easy to steal as a guy's girlfriend, then she'll be that easy to steal as a man's wife.

Very true, but I would say that if she's married you back off. You've got to draw the line in the sand somewhere, and I don't see any reason to draw that line any earlier in the game.
 

DougK62

Diamond Member
Mar 28, 2001
8,035
6
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Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: DougK62
No way is it the guy's fault just as much as the girl's. If that were the case, then you could take the guy out of the equation and the relationship would just be fine and dandy.

Uh, no. Because it's partly her fault, and she's still in the picture, there would still be a problem. If a guy knows she's taken and pushes her to become unfaithful, he's somehow magically completely innocent??

Why's this so hard to understand? :confused:

LOL - guys don't push girls to become unfaithful. They become unfaithful because they do not like what they currently have.

Look at it like this - the whole cheating relationship depends ENTIRELY/100% on the girl receiving the advances. So how can ANYONE but her be to blame?

Why's this so hard to understand? :confused:

 

BigJ

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
21,330
1
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Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: ggnl
Originally posted by: DougK62
Do people really "beat up" guys that try to "steal their girl"? How old are you guys? 15-16?

What are you supposed to do, politely talk him out of it? Innocent flirtation is one thing. If the guy doesn't know she's my girl then he'll get away with a stern "Get the fvck off my koolaid". But if he is knowingly trying to undercut me he should not be surprised at all if things get violent.

This whole "he's going to kick your ass!" angle is so weird to me... I guess I'm older than you guys, no one in my social circle has gotten an ass whopping for any reason. We have lawyers ;)

You think some guys are rational enough to give two sh!ts if you have a lawyer or not? Simply put, some people out there are pretty crazy. And regardless if they do time, or have to pay out in civil suit, they will make you bleed, and bleed a lot.
 
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: PingSpike
Originally posted by: DP
Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: DougK62
If you're in a relationship with a woman and she cheats on you it is NOT the guys fault! It is the whore of a woman that you're with that's to blame.

As stated earlier, it takes two to tango. However, it must be determined whether he knew she was involved with someone else or not. Either way, it's not going to change the end result, it's just going to change whether you feel badly for the poor bastard because he doesn't know what he's getting himself into or whether you loathe him just as much as you hate her.

i'm with nik on this one. it is the guys fault just as much as the girls. UNLESS(very rare) she just finds random guy and rapes him. then it's just the "whore of a womans" fault.

like i said before, if i was in the situation and knew i could whoop the other guy i would kick his ass so hard he could wear it as a hat. then dump the girl.

if he's bigger, well friends and or baseball bat.

Congratulations, you now have an assault charge and a cheating girlfriend.

thx. btw, i doubt i would go as far as a baseball bat.(just my ethugness coming out) but i at least try to get a hit and run if the guy was as big as a house :p