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YAGT: Getting back together with ex

A

acemcmac

Lifer
there was a recurring theme of communication issues throughout the original relationship, all over petty nonsense.... two strong willed people ya know..... she wants to be with me, she wants to be close (friends with benefits at the minimum) but she doesen't want to go steady again now (or at least just yet) because she thinks (as I do) that if we can both keep from falling into our old ping-pong game, that we'd be perfect together... she was the one using the words "it would be for good"

I've gotta be missing something here.... she had to drive 2 hours to get home and has to be babysitting at 7:30am :roll: or so she said.... so she didn't spend the night... she definitley seemed skiddish in the last 15 minutes we were together though.... I didn't think I was coming on too strongly... but now that I have shaken most of my uncertanties.... I guess it's just weirding her out....

thoughts?
 
Let it go dude.

They all say the same. About wanting to be with you....blah blah.


EDIT: Am pretty much in the same situation. So i know its all crap.
 
Originally posted by: Cal166
Let it go dude.

They all say the same. About wanting to be with you....blah blah.
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yeah... i guess..... mabye if I slam the door on her now, she'll come around..... 😕

she's just being stupid.... every guy she's ever dated has freaking pulverized her (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, sometimes sexually...).... girls just don't want to be with the good guy
 
IMO, forget it. I've gotten back together with the ex before and its been nothing but trouble. It seemed great at first, but made the second (inevitable) breakup worse. I'd say move on, or at least use her as a fvck buddy.
 
Originally posted by: acemcmac
there was a recurring theme of communication issues throughout the original relationship, all over petty nonsense.... two strong willed people ya know..... she wants to be with me, she wants to be close with me but she doesen't want to go steady again now (or at least just yet) because she thinks (as I do) that if we can both keep from falling into our old ping-pong game, that we'd be perfect together.....

I've gotta be missing something here.... she had to drive 2 hours to get home and has to be babysitting at 7:30am :rolleyes; or so she said.... so she didn't spend the night... she definitley seemed skiddish in the last 15 minutes we were together though.... I didn't think I was coming on too strongly... but now that I have shaken most of my uncertanties.... I guess it's just weirding her out....

thoughts?
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I would say stay open to it if you feel like it is something you want. But go slow, communication issues are not solved over night, especially with 2 strong willed people. In your case the slower the better. This will give both of you time to more easily acclimate to each other. Over time 2 people in a relationship do tend to emulate each others personalities if they spend enough time together.

And really, ATOT for relationship advice??? I mean come on, WTF!
 
Originally posted by: silverpig
Guaranteed it ain't gonna happen. Tap it while ya can, but don't get any illusions about it.
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yeah... definitley trying not to disilusion myself... but so much of this doesent add up.... she got me a christmas present... one of those books with "uplifting thoughts"

she's really depressed.

I think the right approach would be to keep living my life as usual (I'm currently dating a few other girls) and just make sure she knows she's still not back on my priority list... right now she's trying to get me to work out the logistics of combining the new years eve parties we're each hosting :roll:

I need to think of a good way to blow her off when she makes contact with me again... should be within the next two days.... hmmm....
 
A word of advice to the young ones here.. Run. Run as fast you as can before you begin the stupid games ahead. There is always a better option, better sex, better fun, if you have the patience to wait for it.
 
Well, I can only tell you my experience.

Women wanted nothing to do with me when I was a "nice" guy. By nice guy I mean a pushover who would do anything they wanted to please them.

As soon as I stopped caring, I got more women and eventually married a very good one.

By "stopped caring", I mean "stopped giving a women whatever she wanted".

Seems the woman I was always around wanted a strong-willed man who would take charge of things. It worked for me and now I have a very sweet wife.
 
Originally posted by: Ime
Well, I can only tell you my experience.

Women wanted nothing to do with me when I was a "nice" guy. By nice guy I mean a pushover who would do anything they wanted to please them.

As soon as I stopped caring, I got more women and eventually married a very good one.

By "stopped caring", I mean "stopped giving a women whatever she wanted".

Seems the woman I was always around wanted a strong-willed man who would take charge of things. It worked for me and now I have a very sweet wife.
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that is the first ive ever heard of that actually working to final fruition.... weird...
 
Originally posted by: Bumrush99
A word of advice to the young ones here.. Run. Run as fast you as can before you begin the stupid games ahead. There is always a better option, better sex, better fun, if you have the patience to wait for it.
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You're my hero. :thumbsup:
 
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