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YAGT: Finding out "Who She Is"? (Updated with a more sober description from me and PICS)

T

thawolfman

Lifer
Updated sober post...original drunk post is below...

Yeah, that post didn't make too much sense, huh? 😱

I was at the bar with HER friend, my GF picked us up, dropped HER friend off, and then talked to me.

The situation was a weird one...we used to hang out and stuff back when I first knew her...she was really cool, but too immature for me to be in a relationship with at the time. She had a pretty bad crush on me, but I wasn't really interested. So she ended up going out with this other kid, an they were going breakups to makeups every couple weeks for like > 50% of that 2 year relationship.

She said she felt bad while she was with him because she still had feelings for me, but never thought she'd get a chance with me. During the last few months of her relationship with the other guy she had been asking me to hang out over AIM and stuff, but I wasn't really interested since I didn't wanna get involved with her while she had a BF. So that week that she asked me to hang out, I figured that I might as well just do it since I didn't really have anything else going for me...wouldn't you know I saw her and it was just like motherfscking magic...we talked that night and ended up starting to "go out". This all happened 5 days after her and her ex went through one of those normal bi-weekly breakups, but she had been sick of it and didn't want anything else to do with him...

So everyone's happy until last night. She tells me she never really had time to find out who she is, like she's always been doing stuff for other people and never really put time aside for herself, and I totally understand because that's just what kind of person she is. I had a talk with her about the rebound thing, and she assured me that I wasn't the rebound guy, and that the kid she had just broken up with was more of a rebound than anything...that one kinda shocked me, but like I said, she had a pretty bad crush on me...

SO I don't know where this goes...she just called to say what's up and make sure I got home alright. (I told her to leave me in the CVS lot after we talked...it was pouring rain and she insisted on driving me home, but I needed to clear my head...so I asked some random cop for a ride home...I was gonna walk, but fsck walking drunk in the rain! 😀) Anyways I asked her if it would be too much to ask to talk to her tonight since I'm sobered up now and might be able to get a better grasp on the whole situation and she said she'd call me when she got out of work (At 6)...BLARGH~! 🙁

Finally: Pics, and yes, I KNOW I NEED A TAN
http://www.black-wolf.net/images/d/us.jpg
http://www.black-wolf.net/images/d/us2.jpg
http://www.black-wolf.net/images/d/street.jpg

Thanks in advance if you read any of this! 🙂
-Ben-



Original First Drunk Post
So I went to the bar tonight with my GF's best friend. My girl was totally cool with it, and this girls BF was fine with it too. We get out of the bar, drop the girl off, and go to talk...I knew we were going to talk tonight since some issues about her smoking came up, but we're in the car in a CVS parking lot, and she proceeds to tell me that she needs some time to think and find out who she is.

Here's a minor recap (for me being buzzed.) I met her almost 2 years ago, and we messed around a bit but I never wanted anything really serious since she was a bit immature (She was 15 while I was 18...now it's 18->21...not that it matters to me, but she's changed for the better over the years...), but I guess she ended up having a pretty bad crush on me. Now she went out with this kid for almost two years, but still had feelings for me throughout.

So she had been asking me to hang out, and I finally agreed to it (which by the time I ended up agreeing to it she had just broken up w/ her bf like 5 days earlier.) Anyways we hit it off great and really had something going until tonight. She proceeds to tell me that she feels that she didn't give herself any time for herself...like it was always Mike and Diana, and now it was always Diana and Ben with no time for herself, so my 6 weeks of happiness = down the drain and now I feel like sh!t.

I mean I've known this girl for almost 3 years, so the feelings are incredibly strong between the two of us, but this just kills me...it hurts to know that things can go from seemingly so good to having to be put on hold....

Argh 🙁

-Ben-

Forgive me if I left out any details...it's been a long night and I'm still a little buzzed/drunk, so just ask if anything's missing...
 
She broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years... she will need a lot more than 5 days to get over him. She probably wont be ready to date for a few months. Just stay close and be a friend. If things were meant to be, you'll get back together.

Peace
 
O how i feel for ye! Love is a many splendid thing. It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all! Now......you must stick it up her poop chute.
 
Huh?

I don't get it. You went to the bar with your girlfriend's friend, everybody was cool with it..

So you're saying you want to break up with your girlfriend and go with this girl... she broke up with her bf, but now she doesen't want to go out with you?
 
Alright, I think I understand... the 18 year old chick is YOUR girlfriend now. I was thinking she was the best friend the first time through. She's 18 and you took her to the bar? Mmmmmmk. Give her her space. Either she's using the space thing as a lame way to break up for good (in which case you're probably not going to change her mind), or she really does just need some space. My ex-girlfriend pulled that crap on me too. I don't remember how it turned out, we broke up and got back together a few times... What is your relationship like? Spend most of your time together? Generally in contact with her most of the time? Time away from each other is an important part of a relationship.
 
what he is saying is he went to the bar with his girlfriends best friend. after they were done at the bar, he dropped off his girlfriends best friend, then he talked with his girlfriend. his girlfriend then said she doesnt know "who she is".
 
I think you're all reading it wrong... I don't think the girlfriend's best friend has any part in this story. He said he "dropped the girl off" and then went to talk. I think he was talking to HIS girlfriend, not the best friend.

Edit: Yeah, what the guy two posts above me said. I just noticed the part about it being like 5 days after she broke up with her boyfriend. Sounds to me like she might be afraid to be alone (not having a boyfriend). She hasn't not had a boyfriend since she was 15. She needs to spend some time alone and learn to be independent. What's her family situation like? Divorced parents? Good father/father figure?
 
Originally posted by: mugsywwiii
I think you're all reading it wrong... I don't think the girlfriend's best friend has any part in this story. He said he "dropped the girl off" and then went to talk. I think he was talking to HIS girlfriend, not the best friend.
Click to expand...
OH!

I see.

Damn, that really sucks man. Just try and work through it with her, but if she isn't interested in staying with you, there is nothing you can do about it..



 
I'm still confused. 😕

So your boyfriend is dating your best friend's girlfriend, and she's not ready because she's not over you? 😀





KeyserSoze
 
Originally posted by: thawolfman
So I went to the bar tonight with my GF's best friend. My girl was totally cool with it, and this girls BF was fine with it too. We get out of the bar, drop the girl off, and go to talk...I knew we were going to talk tonight since some issues about her smoking came up, but we're in the car in a CVS parking lot, and she proceeds to tell me that she needs some time to think and find out who she is.

Here's a minor recap (for me being buzzed.) I met her almost 2 years ago, and we messed around a bit but I never wanted anything really serious since she was a bit immature (She was 15 while I was 18...now it's 18->21...not that it matters to me, but she's changed for the better over the years...), but I guess she ended up having a pretty bad crush on me. Now she went out with this kid for almost two years, but still had feelings for me throughout.

So she had been asking me to hang out, and I finally agreed to it (which by the time I ended up agreeing to it she had just broken up w/ her bf like 5 days earlier.) Anyways we hit it off great and really had something going until tonight. She proceeds to tell me that she feels that she didn't give herself any time for herself...like it was always Mike and Diana, and now it was always Diana and Ben with no time for herself, so my 6 weeks of happiness = down the drain and now I feel like sh!t.

I mean I've known this girl for almost 3 years, so the feelings are incredibly strong between the two of us, but this just kills me...it hurts to know that things can go from seemingly so good to having to be put on hold....

Argh 🙁

-Ben-

Forgive me if I left out any details...it's been a long night and I'm still a little buzzed/drunk, so just ask if anything's missing...
Click to expand...

you're a complete ass for driving while intoxicated. heck, you were still intoxicated while you were typing this.



 
Hold on, let me pull out my personal notes file. Ok, this will help you:

Rule #32 on Dating: Do not be the rebound. You will get dropped as soon as she/he is back up. "Oh but it's different in this case" - No. No it's not.

ok, now let me go down to my appendix section..

"I need time to figure out who I am" - Girl talk, multiple possible meanings / probably a combination of several:

a) You were a rebound, I'm ok now, I don't really want to be with you but don't want to deal with another break up. So I'll give you this line of BS.

b) I'm boinking the neighborhood

c) I'm finally over my last relationship, now I'm ready to date around/sleep around - so I don't want to be in a committed relationship with you

d) I'm sleeping with someone else / dating someone else / have found someone else; rather then just be an adult and tell you open and honestly, I'll use this excuse. (a very common one too).

----

Just trying to be honest here. Sucks, but it's the truth. She used you to get over her ex. If she was with him for 2 years, it would probably take her at least a year before she was truly "over" him. Now that she is, she wants to either be free and date/sleep around, or find a new guy she really wants to be with. Obviously that is not you.

Sorry bro.. it sucks, but we've all been there or will be at one point.
 
Originally posted by: huey1124
Originally posted by: thawolfman
So I went to the bar tonight with my GF's best friend. My girl was totally cool with it, and this girls BF was fine with it too. We get out of the bar, drop the girl off, and go to talk...I knew we were going to talk tonight since some issues about her smoking came up, but we're in the car in a CVS parking lot, and she proceeds to tell me that she needs some time to think and find out who she is.

Here's a minor recap (for me being buzzed.) I met her almost 2 years ago, and we messed around a bit but I never wanted anything really serious since she was a bit immature (She was 15 while I was 18...now it's 18->21...not that it matters to me, but she's changed for the better over the years...), but I guess she ended up having a pretty bad crush on me. Now she went out with this kid for almost two years, but still had feelings for me throughout.

So she had been asking me to hang out, and I finally agreed to it (which by the time I ended up agreeing to it she had just broken up w/ her bf like 5 days earlier.) Anyways we hit it off great and really had something going until tonight. She proceeds to tell me that she feels that she didn't give herself any time for herself...like it was always Mike and Diana, and now it was always Diana and Ben with no time for herself, so my 6 weeks of happiness = down the drain and now I feel like sh!t.

I mean I've known this girl for almost 3 years, so the feelings are incredibly strong between the two of us, but this just kills me...it hurts to know that things can go from seemingly so good to having to be put on hold....

Argh 🙁

-Ben-

Forgive me if I left out any details...it's been a long night and I'm still a little buzzed/drunk, so just ask if anything's missing...
Click to expand...

you're a complete ass for driving while intoxicated. heck, you were still intoxicated while you were typing this.
Click to expand...

How do you know who was driving?
 
This post is also at the top of the first post

Yeah, that post didn't make too much sense, huh? 😱

I was at the bar with HER friend, my GF picked us up, dropped HER friend off, and then talked to me.

The situation was a weird one...we used to hang out and stuff back when I first knew her...she was really cool, but too immature for me to be in a relationship with at the time. She had a pretty bad crush on me, but I wasn't really interested. So she ended up going out with this other kid, an they were going breakups to makeups every couple weeks for like > 50% of that 2 year relationship.

She said she felt bad while she was with him because she still had feelings for me, but never thought she'd get a chance with me. During the last few months of her relationship with the other guy she had been asking me to hang out over AIM and stuff, but I wasn't really interested since I didn't wanna get involved with her while she had a BF. So that week that she asked me to hang out, I figured that I might as well just do it since I didn't really have anything else going for me...wouldn't you know I saw her and it was just like motherfscking magic...we talked that night and ended up starting to "go out". This all happened 5 days after her and her ex went through one of those normal bi-weekly breakups, but she had been sick of it and didn't want anything else to do with him...

So everyone's happy until last night. She tells me she never really had time to find out who she is, like she's always been doing stuff for other people and never really put time aside for herself, and I totally understand because that's just what kind of person she is. I had a talk with her about the rebound thing, and she assured me that I wasn't the rebound guy, and that the kid she had just broken up with was more of a rebound than anything...that one kinda shocked me, but like I said, she had a pretty bad crush on me...

SO I don't know where this goes...she just called to say what's up and make sure I got home alright. (I told her to leave me in the CVS lot after we talked...it was pouring rain and she insisted on driving me home, but I needed to clear my head...so I asked some random cop for a ride home...I was gonna walk, but fsck walking drunk in the rain! 😀) Anyways I asked her if it would be too much to ask to talk to her tonight since I'm sobered up now and might be able to get a better grasp on the whole situation...BLARGH~! 🙁

Finally: Pics, and yes, I KNOW I NEED A TAN
http://www.black-wolf.net/images/d/us.jpg
http://www.black-wolf.net/images/d/us2.jpg
http://www.black-wolf.net/images/d/street.jpg

Thanks in advance if you read any of this! 🙂
-Ben-
 
So wait, wasn't that girl in the pictures your girlfriend, or am I just being dumb (don't answer that)? Some girl having a crush on you is a wierd thing. It may be because they want something they know they can never have. I'd just hang back and play it cool, perhaps get a tan in the meantime. Sorry, I had to throw that one in there.
 
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