Sorry about the long post.... I have been dating a girl from my church for almost 10 months. Things were great for a while. We spent a lot of time together, and we always got along well. It also seemed that we had more in common than I did with my ex. But, she started to give up everything else in her life for me. She wanted to spend all of her time with me, and she basically ignored all of her family and friends and tried to make me her entire life. I soon found out why.
Her family was/is completely worthless. Her dad and her step-mom live in a tiny smoke filled trailer. He is a carpenter that seems to get laid off every other month, and she somehow has gotten the job of a day-care worker (to give cancer to all the little girls and boys). Her step-sisters are partiers, and no one over there is worth wasting any of her time with (plus she has asthma, and the smoke really bothers her). Her mom and step-dad are just as bad. They don't smoke or drink heavily, and they live in a sligthly larger home, but they are both on disability (laziness..... they could both easily work, but claim that they are hurt and choose not to). Lately they are barely able to pay their bills, yet they have a $3000 tv and digital cable?????? When I started dating her, she lived with her grandparents. They have a nice house, and are doing pretty well considering he is retired and she works at a dry-cleaners, while supporting my girlfriend's now unemployed 23 year old half-brother. Unfortunately, her grandma was very very controlling, forcing my girlfriend to clean the entire house just about every other day, and always lying about privilges that she was supposed to be given. She would change curfews out of spite, tell us how often we could see each other, and make up rules simply because she wanted to remain in control. She hated the fact that her grandaughter spent so much time with me, and eventually jealousy drove her to the point where she was going to force us to break up (she admitted that she didn't want to share my girlfriend with anyone and wanted her all to herself). So, my gf moves in with her mom to continue dating me(after only 3 months.... I didn't think I was really worth it, but whatever). It was ok for a while, her mom was much more relaxed and trusting, yet showed her power struggle occassionally. But, I really can't stand them, they are fighting constantly, and they barely can pay for food/gas to take my gf to school (her grandparents took her car and all of her money out of her bank account when she moved out, yet got away with it because techincally it was legal.... they then bought themselves a new car and went on like 3 vacations on my girlfriends birthday money from the last 8 years).
So anyway, I put up with her crappy family for the last 10 months. Things were fine between us until I went to college in the fall. She was stuck at home doing nothing all day. She never saw her friends anymore because she had shut them out while I was around (big mistake). She was only working like 10 hours a week at McDonald's, and she didn't have a car to leave when she wanted. When I was away, she would call me constantly (5-10 times a day), and she would insist that we talk for hours at a time when I was free. I generally would make the hour long drive on weekends to see her (and have my mom do laundry haha), so it isn't like we never saw each other, but it wasn't enough for her. She then started to get jealous of my friends and other people at my school. Any time I ever mentioned a girl she freaked out, though she insisted that she completely trusted me. She would lie to me constantly about stupid things, and on occassion about something important. I always felt like she was checking up on me, and if I didn't have my cell phone on when she called she would always ask why as if I was hiding something. Whenever we would fight I would always have to remind her that I have NEVER lied to her, and that even though she has lied to me constantly, I still trust her not to cheat on me. She insisted that another girl having my cell phone number and calling me about a homework assignment was punishble by death, and that she would never call a guy about anything because she knew it would make me mad (it actually wouldn't, and if it was a guy that was a mutual friend of ours she would play it off as different). She is very very attractive, and constantly has guys hitting on her at school, yet any girl who speaks to me casually she thinks is after me. I have to explain to her if she really trusted me, it wouldn't matter who I talk to, because she should know that I will never be unfaithful (which I wasn't).
As we got furthur along, we started fighting daily. She felt me pushing away, and she held tigher and tighter, which made me push away furthur. She became increasingly needy and jealous, and she constantly told me that I was the only thing in her life that made her happy. I told her that she needed to get a life outside of me. She had stopped going to church except when I was going, she never saw her friends, and she missed far too much school. Her life soon consisted of sitting at home waiting for me to call so she could force me to stay on the phone for hours (she literally would say "no" when I told her I was going to get off the phone). It soon became a love/hate relationship for me. At times she seemed like everything I wanted, and at other times I felt like breaking it off and never looking back. We broke up 2 weeks ago and she didn't eat for 3 days. I took her back because she promised she could change back into the person that she was when we first started dating (of course, this had come up before, and she promised to change then, but admitted that she didn't try to because she honestly didn't think I would break up with her.... nice to know she was only thinking of herself and not how I felt). Well, she didnt' change, and we continued to fight.
Then we got in another big argument because I was annoyed from talking to her for too long (idk why I thought I could put up with an immature high school girl rambling on "just trying to make conversation"). I told her that if she has nothing worth talking about, it means we should stop talking for a while. She eventually blew up and made a comment about my family being wealthy and having whatever we want, and I got pissed and hung up, shut off my cell phone, and went to bed. The next day she called my 25 times!!!! I refused to answer because I was sick of her. I eventually got tired of hearing my phone ring and answered, then told her off that I was sick of her neediness and her jealousness and that I wanted some time away from her. I told her that I was sick of dating her and that I just wanted to end it. She tried to pull the "you know you love me just admit it" on me, but I wouldn't budge because I was so sick of listening to her talk. She blew up and stormed out of her house and went for a long long jog (3 days after having an asthma attack). She was gone for hours, and ended up worrying everyone in her family that was dead somewhere. She eventually called me and I yelled at her for being so stupid that she didn't let anyone know where she was. She couldn't handle being without me, and stopped thinking and making rational decisions as she usually does.
Did I make the right call in ending this? I'm glad that I don't have to put up with the neediness and lack of trust anymore, but little things keep reminding me of her and I kind of miss her. Especially thinking about just holding her. She loved that because she felt so safe in my arms, and I always wanted to take care of her and give her all the things that she never had. She loves my family, and they liked her A LOT more than my ex, but lately I think they had noticed her lack of.... sanity... and they were starting to get annoyed with seeing us fight. I keep bouncing back and forth between feelings. I know it's normal because it happened when I broke up with my other gf, and I'm really glad she is gone, but it is still an odd feeling.
Pro's:
Very, very, very good looking (sorry, no good pics on hand. She is just better in person with her new tan anyway)
I was never afraid of her leaving me
Same religious beliefs
I felt very comfortable around her
She got along great with my family
Slightly above average intelligence (great artist, not much of a scientist.... good grades, not much common sense)
Con's:
Too needy
Not trusting/Very jealous
No life outside of me anymore
Lousy family (wouldn't matter after marriage)
Immaturity? (she is young and would probably grow out of it)
Can be annoying after extended periods of time, though not as bad as most girls that I know
Doesn't seem to think with her head too often
So, should I think about going back after she gets her life together? Or should I just move on and find another fish in the sea?
Cliffnotes:
Hot girl
Great for a while
She gave up her entire life for me
Too needy... very jealous while I'm at college
Fought a lot, I ended it
Her family was/is completely worthless. Her dad and her step-mom live in a tiny smoke filled trailer. He is a carpenter that seems to get laid off every other month, and she somehow has gotten the job of a day-care worker (to give cancer to all the little girls and boys). Her step-sisters are partiers, and no one over there is worth wasting any of her time with (plus she has asthma, and the smoke really bothers her). Her mom and step-dad are just as bad. They don't smoke or drink heavily, and they live in a sligthly larger home, but they are both on disability (laziness..... they could both easily work, but claim that they are hurt and choose not to). Lately they are barely able to pay their bills, yet they have a $3000 tv and digital cable?????? When I started dating her, she lived with her grandparents. They have a nice house, and are doing pretty well considering he is retired and she works at a dry-cleaners, while supporting my girlfriend's now unemployed 23 year old half-brother. Unfortunately, her grandma was very very controlling, forcing my girlfriend to clean the entire house just about every other day, and always lying about privilges that she was supposed to be given. She would change curfews out of spite, tell us how often we could see each other, and make up rules simply because she wanted to remain in control. She hated the fact that her grandaughter spent so much time with me, and eventually jealousy drove her to the point where she was going to force us to break up (she admitted that she didn't want to share my girlfriend with anyone and wanted her all to herself). So, my gf moves in with her mom to continue dating me(after only 3 months.... I didn't think I was really worth it, but whatever). It was ok for a while, her mom was much more relaxed and trusting, yet showed her power struggle occassionally. But, I really can't stand them, they are fighting constantly, and they barely can pay for food/gas to take my gf to school (her grandparents took her car and all of her money out of her bank account when she moved out, yet got away with it because techincally it was legal.... they then bought themselves a new car and went on like 3 vacations on my girlfriends birthday money from the last 8 years).
So anyway, I put up with her crappy family for the last 10 months. Things were fine between us until I went to college in the fall. She was stuck at home doing nothing all day. She never saw her friends anymore because she had shut them out while I was around (big mistake). She was only working like 10 hours a week at McDonald's, and she didn't have a car to leave when she wanted. When I was away, she would call me constantly (5-10 times a day), and she would insist that we talk for hours at a time when I was free. I generally would make the hour long drive on weekends to see her (and have my mom do laundry haha), so it isn't like we never saw each other, but it wasn't enough for her. She then started to get jealous of my friends and other people at my school. Any time I ever mentioned a girl she freaked out, though she insisted that she completely trusted me. She would lie to me constantly about stupid things, and on occassion about something important. I always felt like she was checking up on me, and if I didn't have my cell phone on when she called she would always ask why as if I was hiding something. Whenever we would fight I would always have to remind her that I have NEVER lied to her, and that even though she has lied to me constantly, I still trust her not to cheat on me. She insisted that another girl having my cell phone number and calling me about a homework assignment was punishble by death, and that she would never call a guy about anything because she knew it would make me mad (it actually wouldn't, and if it was a guy that was a mutual friend of ours she would play it off as different). She is very very attractive, and constantly has guys hitting on her at school, yet any girl who speaks to me casually she thinks is after me. I have to explain to her if she really trusted me, it wouldn't matter who I talk to, because she should know that I will never be unfaithful (which I wasn't).
As we got furthur along, we started fighting daily. She felt me pushing away, and she held tigher and tighter, which made me push away furthur. She became increasingly needy and jealous, and she constantly told me that I was the only thing in her life that made her happy. I told her that she needed to get a life outside of me. She had stopped going to church except when I was going, she never saw her friends, and she missed far too much school. Her life soon consisted of sitting at home waiting for me to call so she could force me to stay on the phone for hours (she literally would say "no" when I told her I was going to get off the phone). It soon became a love/hate relationship for me. At times she seemed like everything I wanted, and at other times I felt like breaking it off and never looking back. We broke up 2 weeks ago and she didn't eat for 3 days. I took her back because she promised she could change back into the person that she was when we first started dating (of course, this had come up before, and she promised to change then, but admitted that she didn't try to because she honestly didn't think I would break up with her.... nice to know she was only thinking of herself and not how I felt). Well, she didnt' change, and we continued to fight.
Then we got in another big argument because I was annoyed from talking to her for too long (idk why I thought I could put up with an immature high school girl rambling on "just trying to make conversation"). I told her that if she has nothing worth talking about, it means we should stop talking for a while. She eventually blew up and made a comment about my family being wealthy and having whatever we want, and I got pissed and hung up, shut off my cell phone, and went to bed. The next day she called my 25 times!!!! I refused to answer because I was sick of her. I eventually got tired of hearing my phone ring and answered, then told her off that I was sick of her neediness and her jealousness and that I wanted some time away from her. I told her that I was sick of dating her and that I just wanted to end it. She tried to pull the "you know you love me just admit it" on me, but I wouldn't budge because I was so sick of listening to her talk. She blew up and stormed out of her house and went for a long long jog (3 days after having an asthma attack). She was gone for hours, and ended up worrying everyone in her family that was dead somewhere. She eventually called me and I yelled at her for being so stupid that she didn't let anyone know where she was. She couldn't handle being without me, and stopped thinking and making rational decisions as she usually does.
Did I make the right call in ending this? I'm glad that I don't have to put up with the neediness and lack of trust anymore, but little things keep reminding me of her and I kind of miss her. Especially thinking about just holding her. She loved that because she felt so safe in my arms, and I always wanted to take care of her and give her all the things that she never had. She loves my family, and they liked her A LOT more than my ex, but lately I think they had noticed her lack of.... sanity... and they were starting to get annoyed with seeing us fight. I keep bouncing back and forth between feelings. I know it's normal because it happened when I broke up with my other gf, and I'm really glad she is gone, but it is still an odd feeling.
Pro's:
Very, very, very good looking (sorry, no good pics on hand. She is just better in person with her new tan anyway)
I was never afraid of her leaving me
Same religious beliefs
I felt very comfortable around her
She got along great with my family
Slightly above average intelligence (great artist, not much of a scientist.... good grades, not much common sense)
Con's:
Too needy
Not trusting/Very jealous
No life outside of me anymore
Lousy family (wouldn't matter after marriage)
Immaturity? (she is young and would probably grow out of it)
Can be annoying after extended periods of time, though not as bad as most girls that I know
Doesn't seem to think with her head too often
So, should I think about going back after she gets her life together? Or should I just move on and find another fish in the sea?
Cliffnotes:
Hot girl
Great for a while
She gave up her entire life for me
Too needy... very jealous while I'm at college
Fought a lot, I ended it
Facebook
Twitter