YAGT: Did I cross the line?

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: chrisms
Your friend is an idiot. Don't worry about it.

:thumbsup:

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: polm
Damn, MichaelD. Now I really feel like an a$$ hole. When you put it in those terms, I guess I really did cross the line.

Hope I haven't pissed my friend off too much. Hopefully nothing a couple beers can't resolve.

Here's how to fix it.

You say IN PERSON to your friend:

Dude...I feel like sh2t. I wasn't thinking when I was talking to Marsha. I didn't mean anything by it, I wasn't trying anything...it just that she's been a part of the crowd/gang/group/break dance trio for so long I didn't think anything of it and I was just trying to patch things up for you two. She's your girl and if it didn't work out, she's old news and history for all of us, man.

...and then YOU NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN!

I tried to include some hip lingo...but I am old. You get the general idea, I'm sure. You need to communicate to your friend that you DID f-up, but that it WASN'T b/c you were trying for an easy shot at the panties. Got it?

 

[fbrdphreak]

Originally posted by: chrisms
Your friend is an idiot. Don't worry about it.

 

[DaShen]

Sounds like your friend is immature, but you could have possibly asked him about it first.
Who knows man... are you good friends with the girl or better friends with the guy? The best thing you could have done as a friend would be to let them handle their own business and stay out of it till things cool down. ... Plus, it sounds like you may like this girl...

 

[UDT89]

u text her drunk..........

you obviously like her.

and why not ask ur friend how it went? why as the girl who wont be there 5 years from now?

 

[polm]

I was just curious. Their situation came up, and it just seemed OK to page her and get an update.

I guess I need to re-evaluate the situation. I've been friends with my guy friends GF's and Ex-GF's in the past, and it's never seemed to cause any problems. I didn't realize there was so much implied in my actions. I guess I am being naive.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: chrisms
Your friend is an idiot. Don't worry about it.

^

 

[polm]

"Your friend is an idiot. Don't worry about it."

I know many of the responders agree with the statement above, but plenty still think I crossed the line. I prefer to err on the side of caution, and will apologize to my friend rather than treat it as insignificant.

 

[Crimzon]

Originally posted by: pontifex
he's probably mad that you're texting her askign about instead of him, your friend.

But I disagree with MichealD. Don't stick your tail in between your legs. Tell him she txt'd you first saying she wanted to reconcile things with him, and admit you were drunk and decided to see how things went. More than likely he'll accept that and let it go. You don't need to profusely apologize because it wasn't *that* bad to begin with. Just don't do it again.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: polm
"Your friend is an idiot. Don't worry about it."

I know many of the responders agree with the statement above, but plenty still think I crossed the line. I prefer to err on the side of caution, and will apologize to my friend rather than treat it as insignificant.

Good idea.

Even if you didn't mean anything by it, the best thing to do in those situations is to try to stay out of it. If she messages you, respond (don't make it awkward), but distance yourself from the situation. I am not saying you did anything wrong, but it can definitely be construed that way, so it is wiser to confront your friend about it and apoligize for being insensitive (don't use that word with your guy friend though).

Next time just give them some space and when things settle, then you can talk to them.

*****************************************

Originally posted by: Crimzon

Originally posted by: pontifex
he's probably mad that you're texting her askign about instead of him, your friend.

But I disagree with MichealD. Don't stick your tail in between your legs. Tell him she txt'd you first saying she wanted to reconcile things with him, and admit you were drunk and decided to see how things went. More than likely he'll accept that and let it go. You don't need to profusely apologize because it wasn't *that* bad to begin with. Just don't do it again.

Agreed. This is the correct course of action. If you did not have any mal-intent from texting her, no worries. Just explain it to your friend and say it won't happen again. If he is that immature to make a big deal about it after that, it is out of your hands.

 

[QuEeNyGuRl]

As far as I can tell, your messages were platonic.

 

[LanceM]

Wow, I really hate to pick on anyone specifically, but I'm really shocked at MichaelD's response.

Yeah, you could've asked your friend how the breakup was going, and if there was a reconciliation. Aside from that, you did nothing wrong, as long as you weren't trying to screw the girl.

If you're truly friends with this guy, he should trust you more.

 

[slsmnaz]

:music: secret lovers :music:

 

[MisterJackson]

She was giving you an "in". She wanted to give up the kitty cat to you. Women don't wear neon signs on their heads saying "I'd rather be fvcking you" unfortunately, so oppritunities like this are missed.

Or maybe you knew and didn't care, who knows these things?

 

[Injury]

Didn't cross the line with the messaging... however, the subject matter was NOYDB. If the guy is your friend, that's information that he will make available to you when he damn well feels like it. Perhaps he is jealous, perhaps he's just a bit emotional about it, whatever.

Take the hint, stop talking to her. He's your friend, she's just the girlfriend. Think about which is more important to you.

 

[Meatyone]

Originally posted by: Injury
Didn't cross the line with the messaging... however, the subject matter was NOYDB. If the guy is your friend, that's information that he will make available to you when he damn well feels like it. Perhaps he is jealous, perhaps he's just a bit emotional about it, whatever.

Take the hint, stop talking to her. He's your friend, she's just the girlfriend. Think about which is more important to you.

QFT. Doesn't matter whether he overreacted or not. He's your "good friend," she's just some chick who's passing though. Loyalty is the most important element of true friendship.

 

[soydios]

You're in the clear, from my view. You knew to not move in on your friend's ex, good man (bro's before ho's, as they say).