YAGT: Can long distance relationships work?

[Beev]

I recently met a girl online that I am liking more and more. We met a couple months ago, but didn't really start talking till a couple weeks or so ago. I really enjoy talking to her, and we share a lot of common interests. We've traded pics and whatnot (and she still talks to me which is a huge hurdle for me :laugh. The problem is she lives 4 states away. She's asked me jokingly before when I'm coming to visit, but there's always some degree of truth in a joking attitude.

I'm not asking if I should marry this chick or even fly out to see her necessarily, but I don't want to put a lot of time and effort into something that is destined to fail. Any tips or advice?

 

[NaOH]

It has a very slim chance of working out. Especially since you guys met first online and haven't really spent time together. Just go for it. But as soon as things look grim (stops talking to you, drift apart, etc). Just let it go and don't worry too much about it.

I was with my gf for like 2 years before we went to college. It was really hard at first and we had to work through it. We were only 1 hour away too. Were fine now.

 

[HexiumVII]

OMG don't turn into my friend who had a LDR for 4 months and spent 2400 hours on the phone together (cel phone bill was hundreds of pages long lucky there is free in network nowadays).

 

[notfred]

They can work temporarily, but not long-term.

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

Originally posted by: HexiumVII
OMG don't turn into my friend who had a LDR for 4 months and spent 2400 hours on the phone together (cel phone bill was hundreds of pages long lucky there is free in network nowadays).

Geez be smart about it. My friendt alked to his ex 3 hrs a day and the LDR still didnt work out after 6 months. Cheap ppl know to call after 9....

 

[T9D]

It's just a waste of time and unfullfilling.

That being said there is something to getting to watch her naked on the webcam and recieving hot naked pictures in your email

I guess have a little fun but dont take it to serious.

 

[jagec]

They work out really well..with you, your girlfriend, AND her other boyfriend.

 

[Ranger X]

Long distance relationships work ... if you bang other people on the side.

 

[UncleWai]

Part of a relationship is build on lust. If you can't become physical with your SO, it just doesn't work out.
It's pretty naive to think you can like someone just purely by conversing with him/her.

 

[Beev]

I said "like," not love. I was planning on just letting it ride out and seeing what happens, but damn if you negative nancy's didn't suck all the potential fun out of this...

 

[mrrman]

I would never get involved in a LDR...I wouldnt even date a gal 100 miles away...to much hassle and drama

 

[kranky]

There's a 99% chance it won't work out. What amazes me is that so many people are sure they are in the 1%. And the sad thing is they struggle so hard to keep the relationship going instead of facing facts and moving on, which would make their lives so much happier.

I know a girl who just graduated HS in June, and last month started dating some guy when she is going to be moving 500 miles away to college in another couple of weeks. She's already told me that it "won't be a problem" for them. They "are committed" to each other.

So while going through the awkward transition to college and being away from home, she's going to have the added stress of all the crap people go through to keep a relationship going. Doomed to an unhappy ending.

 

[xtknight]

There's nothing wrong with having sex on Netmeeting, is there?

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

There's a 99% chance it won't work out. What amazes me is that so many people are sure they are in the 1%.

Why do people gamble? Why do people bet in the lottery? There are 6 billion people on earth, 1% is 60 MILLION... Doesnt look as bad now does it?

But seriously , the odds are SOOOO relative... Many relationships have worked with oversea distances... some dont work even with a few miles apart... If both are commited and have the $$$ it really doesnt matter, on top of that you get to have a lot of time for yourself..

The key thing is, if you really go for a serious and deep relationship, and you have already met in person and it worked out even better than you thought (which was my case) and she just had you dreaming all day long... MAKE SURE you dont grow apart... keep contact very often and try to be together as many times as possible, doing things a couple living together would.. that way you grow together and are already ready to live together when you have the means..

So dont tell people it doesnt work just because it didnt for you, different people, different situations, different ending

 

[doze]

Nothing wrong with talking to the girl, but since you never really met her don't let staying home to talk to her take away from your normal life. Meaning that if you meet a "real" girl then hook it up b/c she probably is.

 

[kranky]

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself

There's a 99% chance it won't work out. What amazes me is that so many people are sure they are in the 1%.

Why do people gamble? Why do people bet in the lottery? There are 6 billion people on earth, 1% is 60 MILLION... Doesnt look as bad now does it?

But seriously , the odds are SOOOO relative... Many relationships have worked with oversea distances... some dont work even with a few miles apart... If both are commited and have the $$$ it really doesnt matter, on top of that you get to have a lot of time for yourself..

The key thing is, if you really go for a serious and deep relationship, and you have already met in person and it worked out even better than you thought (which was my case) and she just had you dreaming all day long... MAKE SURE you dont grow apart... keep contact very often and try to be together as many times as possible, doing things a couple living together would.. that way you grow together and are already ready to live together when you have the means..

So dont tell people it doesnt work just because it didnt for you, different people, different situations, different ending

Hey, it's great for you and the others who posted that it worked out.

But if someone asks "can they work", I'm still quite confident in saying the 1% chance is accurate.