YAGT: Broke up with my GF :(

[S Freud]

To clarify: I am in college over 200 miles away, she is still in HS, we are both 18, I graduated early, she graduates this friday.

So I just broke up with my GF of three years, Things had been getting a little rough lately. She is the only girl that I have ever been with, only GF I have ever had, been with her since I was 15, I just have too much doubt right now. We were about to make the big step and move in together, but I just doubt us too much, I mean she is the only girl I have ever been with. How can I tell her she is the only one for me if I don't know that for a fact?

I'm just really sort of depressed right now, what if this is a huge mistake? I feel like such a pig telling her that I just don't know for sure. I don't expect her to wait around while I see other people and I told her that, but it just seemed so sureal when she said "You know if this happens that we can never be together again right?" It just seemed final, it scared me to be honest.

I know this isn't my personal blog, and that no one here probably cares, it just felt a little better to write it down.


EDIT UPDATE: So she called last night as I was replying to this thread, she just kept asking how I could throw three years away like that, she kept telling me that I'm her everything and that she doesn't want to be with anyone else, I feel really bad, she graduates this friday(she is 18 too) and I guess I could have picked a better time just being away at school I feel like I have grown in different ways that she didn't, she says that she wants to talk when I come home this weekend, I sort of felt bad when she was balling her eyes out and I seemed fine, don't get me wrong I am going to miss her, but like so many of you have said there is always that "what if?" And I can't be in a relationship where there is doubt.

 

[Mo0o]

How old are you. She's only 18 so hopefully you're not too far from the ballpark. Being so young I would try to avoid these grandiose claims of eternal love. You'll get over it

 

[Baked]

If she's the one, you two will end up together, no matter what she said to you.

 

[necine]

How were you a pig? You were honest with yourself and with her. But it's going to suck a hell of alot when she gets her rebound guy. Trust. Just you wait... she's going to turn into a huge slut and you're going to look back at this moment and laugh at yourself for being upset.

 

[LcarsSystem]

we need :camera:'s to determine whether you made a mistake or not.

 

[SurgicalShark]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
How old are you. She's only 18 so hopefully you're not too far from the ballpark. Being so young I would try to avoid these grandiose claims of eternal love. You'll get over it

OP says he is now 18!

 

[S Freud]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
How old are you. She's only 18 so hopefully you're not too far from the ballpark. Being so young I would try to avoid these grandiose claims of eternal love. You'll get over it

See this was one of the problems I had, she was already talking about marriage and how becuase of a medical condition wanted kids before she was 30, I thought this talk was okay at first. Until I started talking to some friends, then it hit me, I'm only 18 years old, I have my whole life in front of me.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

You're still young, you'll pick yourself up. Nothing is final till you're dead

 

[S Freud]

There were a couple bombshells dropped when she came to visit a couple weeks ago, we went out for a night of partying at a friends house and she got pretty tanked.

Bombshell 1: Always told me she had only been with one guy prior to me, I had no reason to believe otherwise, come to find out it was three.

Bombshell 2: We had been talking about moving into together, all of the sudden she goes off on me saying how she doesn't want to move in with me and doesn't want to be with me, next morning she says she doesn't remember a thing (she was pretty drunk) and apologizes.

One of the reasons I feel so bad is becuase she graduates this friday and I feel like I ruined it for her. (she is also 18 just so you know)

 

[chambersc]

Originally posted by: S Freud
There were a couple bombshells dropped when she came to visit a couple weeks ago, we went out for a night of partying at a friends house and she got pretty tanked.

Bombshell 1: Always told me she had only been with one guy prior to me, I had no reason to believe otherwise, come to find out it was three.

Bombshell 2: We had been talking about moving into together, all of the sudden she goes off on me saying how she doesn't want to move in with me and doesn't want to be with me, next morning she says she doesn't remember a thing (she was pretty drunk) and apologizes.

One of the reasons I feel so bad is becuase she graduates this friday and I feel like I ruined it for her. (she is also 18 just so you know)

anoter bombshell, you openly admit to committing an illegal activity. gj winner :thumbsup:

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Mo0o
How old are you. She's only 18 so hopefully you're not too far from the ballpark. Being so young I would try to avoid these grandiose claims of eternal love. You'll get over it

See this was one of the problems I had, she was already talking about marriage and how becuase of a medical condition wanted kids before she was 30, I thought this talk was okay at first. Until I started talking to some friends, then it hit me, I'm only 18 years old, I have my whole life in front of me.

18 is pretty young. it's true, you do have your whole life ahead of you. stay in college, finish school!

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: chambersc

Originally posted by: S Freud
There were a couple bombshells dropped when she came to visit a couple weeks ago, we went out for a night of partying at a friends house and she got pretty tanked.

Bombshell 1: Always told me she had only been with one guy prior to me, I had no reason to believe otherwise, come to find out it was three.

Bombshell 2: We had been talking about moving into together, all of the sudden she goes off on me saying how she doesn't want to move in with me and doesn't want to be with me, next morning she says she doesn't remember a thing (she was pretty drunk) and apologizes.

One of the reasons I feel so bad is becuase she graduates this friday and I feel like I ruined it for her. (she is also 18 just so you know)

anoter bombshell, you openly admit to committing an illegal activity. gj winner :thumbsup:

:roll:

 

[fire400]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Mo0o
How old are you. She's only 18 so hopefully you're not too far from the ballpark. Being so young I would try to avoid these grandiose claims of eternal love. You'll get over it

See this was one of the problems I had, she was already talking about marriage and how becuase of a medical condition wanted kids before she was 30, I thought this talk was okay at first. Until I started talking to some friends, then it hit me, I'm only 18 years old, I have my whole life in front of me.

18 is pretty young. it's true, you do have your whole life ahead of you. stay in college, finish school!

Moving in with your b/f and g/f and not being married is a bad sign in the first place. It's stupid 'cuz you get her pregnant, you look at the relationship and then both of you just say "we're only b/f g/f" and then the bond isn't strong.

Either leads to an abortion which is a criminal-intent in my opinion, or you adopt the kid which in sense is better, or either takes the kid, and the kid grows up with only one parent, or your girl friend takes the kid and you end up paying child support for the kid, 300-600 and over, a month. Cheat on each other. Break the bank, support each other at 18, fight over stupid teen stuff, yay!!!

"Just like the girls on TV." -No Secrets

p.s. Single life ain't bad anyway, appreciating it is one step closer to happiness until you come along the lines of another hot chick.

Freedom ain't free you know, but you do get money to yourself when you're single you know. Buy yourself an XTX or something, "soup" up your car, go have dinner with more than one girl.

 

[astrocase]

Feel for ya.

You gotta make a choice. Either stay with her or go rebound with someone else.

Neither of those are bombshells. Rule of 3, and she's just scared of moving in together. I'd be pissed about her not being honest though.

My advice is simple. If it's eating you out inside that you're missing out on something now, then you need to fix it NOW, act on it now, since it's only going to get worse. Trust me. Better it ends now rather than later. Take the positive away from the relationship and go enjoy college.

 

[Synth3t1c]

she lied to you.. no matter how big she lied to u man, and that cant be

also, keep in mind that she was hesitant and stuff when she was drunk, but hesitant nonetheless

dude ur doing the right thing. shes trying to hold u in and make it finalized. i can tell u shes probably not the one, but keep a close friendship with her and see what happens

 

[S Freud]

Thanks to everyone for all the support, its true I found it hard telling her how I really felt, but I know that I couldn't live with myself knowing that in a way I was living a lie. I hate to think that I could be guilt tripped into getting back with her, I am going to talk with her face to face this weekend, right now we are 200 miles apart, which I think is another factor in this situation.

I hope everything goes well.

 

[DaFOBulous1]

Originally posted by: S Freud
There were a couple bombshells dropped when she came to visit a couple weeks ago, we went out for a night of partying at a friends house and she got pretty tanked.

Bombshell 1: Always told me she had only been with one guy prior to me, I had no reason to believe otherwise, come to find out it was three.

Bombshell 2: We had been talking about moving into together, all of the sudden she goes off on me saying how she doesn't want to move in with me and doesn't want to be with me, next morning she says she doesn't remember a thing (she was pretty drunk) and apologizes.

One of the reasons I feel so bad is becuase she graduates this friday and I feel like I ruined it for her. (she is also 18 just so you know)

3 guys before she was 15? Wow...

I feel for you man...even if she was drunk, there is always truth to it. Well, if you guys are meant to be...somehow, somewhere...u guys will get back together.

 

[S Freud]

Yea I know about the 3 guy thing, I was shocked myself at first, but then I just thought that it was before me and therefor has nothing to do with me, the real shocker is that all of those guys were around 18 years old.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: DaFOBulous1

Originally posted by: S Freud
There were a couple bombshells dropped when she came to visit a couple weeks ago, we went out for a night of partying at a friends house and she got pretty tanked.

Bombshell 1: Always told me she had only been with one guy prior to me, I had no reason to believe otherwise, come to find out it was three.

Bombshell 2: We had been talking about moving into together, all of the sudden she goes off on me saying how she doesn't want to move in with me and doesn't want to be with me, next morning she says she doesn't remember a thing (she was pretty drunk) and apologizes.

One of the reasons I feel so bad is becuase she graduates this friday and I feel like I ruined it for her. (she is also 18 just so you know)

3 guys before she was 15? Wow...

I feel for you man...even if she was drunk, there is always truth to it. Well, if you guys are meant to be...somehow, somewhere...u guys will get back together.

Indeed. No matter how drunk I get I can't ever see saying stuff like that about my gf. Sure theres something irritating every so often but to the point of I don't want to be with you? Hell no.

 

[S Freud]

Yea, when I said that no matter how drunk you get you know what you are saying she threw this thing in my face about when we were at a party these girls were doing a wet T-shirt contest and I was voluntering to be a judge, I was pretty intoxicated and I also pointed out that sure I may have judged but I loved her and asked, who did I end up going home with?

 

[sisq0kidd]

You're young, she's young and you guys are in a state of transition.

Love is love even if certain aspects of your relationship do not equate to the conventional movie-like love. Love feels good and hurts at different times and that's how you know it's love.

Is this relationship worth the love you have now along with the pain? Maybe, maybe not. Just know that there's always a pratical portion to love that you have to deal with alongside the faith-based portion and if things do not work out now, that's ok.

No matter what happens, both of you will move on and become better people; whether it being together or not.

I haven't been on Anandtech lately because I just dropped a bombshell on my gf of 4 years. I recently cheated on her (not all the way) and confessed everything because I knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. She's not my first girlfriend, but I know she's the one I want to be with.

We're trying to work everything out not just because we still love each other and we "feel" it in our hearts, but because in a way... we just can't throw away what we had because of one stupid stupid mistake I made. We both know there are other fish in the sea, but we just can't seem to let each other go. Whether or not this is a mistake on our part, we're willing to see it through because that's something we want to risk our hearts on in hopes of building a stronger relationship.

As for you, just know that whatever path you take, it will only get better.

 

[DainBramaged]

 

[Trente]

She lied to you. She told you nothing but the truth while being drunk. You did the right thing.

 

[Aarondeep]

Dude your 18!
Everything seems worse than it is when your that age. Moving in already? Talking about marriage? That does seem fast bro, you made a tough decision, just give it time and realise your still freaking 18!

 

[I Saw OJ]

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Mo0o
How old are you. She's only 18 so hopefully you're not too far from the ballpark. Being so young I would try to avoid these grandiose claims of eternal love. You'll get over it

See this was one of the problems I had, she was already talking about marriage and how becuase of a medical condition wanted kids before she was 30, I thought this talk was okay at first. Until I started talking to some friends, then it hit me, I'm only 18 years old, I have my whole life in front of me.

You hit the nail on the head right there. Live your life before you settle down. Travel, party, bang some sluts, have some fun.

I tried to tell this to a buddy of mine before he got married. He married the first girl he ever dated, and they didnt even date for that long. He says hes happy and good for him, but you never want that "what if..." feeling in the back of your mind.