YAGT: Break-Up etiquette

[polm]

After dating someone exclusively for 3 months, spending all freetime everyday with someone,...

is an explanation owed if one chooses to break off the relationship ?

Can you just ignore someone completely and hope they go away ?

If somone were to find themselves being ignored all of a sudden, should they pusue closure through attempted phone calls/email ? Should they just give up ?

 

[TwinkleToes77]

yes they deserve a reason. and just cutting all contact off is wussing out. If someone did that to you you mean you wouldnt want to know why?

 

[waylman]

yeah, u really have to give a reason...you dont have to tell the real reason though if it is something that is going to be really hard for him/her to hear.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
yes they deserve a reason. and just cutting all contact off is wussing out. If someone did that to you you mean you wouldnt want to know why?

it is happening to me right now...for the past 5 days she has refused to return calls. She never answeres when I call her cell (Caller ID of course), and when I cath her off guard at home (no Caller ID) she tells me how busy she is and practically hangs up on my face after promising : "I'll call you right back" .

How long should I keep trying to get a reason from her ?

 

[PG]

I say give up and let her call you.
She'll just call you a stalker now even though it might not be the case.
Overall it's just time to move on.

 

[TwinkleToes77]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
yes they deserve a reason. and just cutting all contact off is wussing out. If someone did that to you you mean you wouldnt want to know why?

it is happening to me right now...for the past 5 days she has refused to return calls. She never answeres when I call her cell (Caller ID of course), and when I cath her off guard at home (no Caller ID) she tells me how busy she is and practically hangs up on my face after promising : "I'll call you right back" .

How long should I keep trying to get a reason from her ?

why not just do a surprise visit at her house and demand a reason? IF she wont give you one after that then maybe it would be time to forget about it. You dont need to deal with someone like that that cant face life and choose to ignore it.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: PG
I say give up and let her call you.
She'll just call you a stalker now even though it might not be the case.
Overall it's just time to move on.

yeah..I am really starting to feel like a stalker. It is just so "out of nowhere" ... I mean this has never happened to me. I always get at least a "F-ck you its OVER" call.

I am just unable to get closure without it.

 

[richardycc]

maybe her bf is back in town.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: richardycc
maybe her bf is back in town.

thats fine...I just wish she would tell me

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: richardycc
maybe her bf is back in town.

thats fine...I just wish she would tell me

The truth is that I don't want to be with her anymore...not after this shizz. But I really want to know why she pulled this on me. Seeing as I am not really a stalker...just calling her over and over again might annoye her enough to just say it to get me off her back ? Right ?

 

[Nitemare]

Boink her sister




Ideally in front of her

 

[cheapgoose]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Boink her sister




Ideally in front of her

beat me to it, and don't foget to dtb.

 

[chin311]

wow, thats pretty sad, at least have courtesy to tell a person why. thats childish...

sucks man...

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: cheapgoose

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Boink her sister




Ideally in front of her

beat me to it, and don't foget to dtb.

actually her sister dates my brother...which makes this all so much weirder.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: chin311
wow, thats pretty sad, at least have courtesy to tell a person why. thats childish...

sucks man...

how would you handle it ? keep calling and annoye her into sub-mission ?

 

[pyonir]

dude...let it go. Trust me. All she is going to do is make up a reason if you keep bugging her about it.

Move on.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: pyonir
dude...let it go. Trust me. All she is going to do is make up a reason if you keep bugging her about it.

Move on.

what about getting my stuff back ?

I have clothes and good CD's at her house ?

 

[PG]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: cheapgoose

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Boink her sister




Ideally in front of her

beat me to it, and don't foget to dtb.

actually her sister dates my brother...which makes this all so much weirder.

That can help, make your brother ask the sister what's up.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: cheapgoose

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Boink her sister




Ideally in front of her

beat me to it, and don't foget to dtb.

actually her sister dates my brother...which makes this all so much weirder.

You might want to ask his permission first then

:evil:

Just ask the sister what's up.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: pyonir
dude...let it go. Trust me. All she is going to do is make up a reason if you keep bugging her about it.

Move on.

what about getting my stuff back ?

I have clothes and good CD's at her house ?

well you never mentioned that. Does she live with anyone? tell them you'd like to come by and pick up your stuff. WHen she hangs up on you, drive over there and pick it up. Or are you just making excuses now?

 

[pandego]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: pyonir
dude...let it go. Trust me. All she is going to do is make up a reason if you keep bugging her about it.

Move on.

what about getting my stuff back ?

I have clothes and good CD's at her house ?

Just leave them. They can be replaced. Let her contact you. But start to move on, and don't become a victim of self doubt, since this is obviously NOT your fault.

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: pyonir
dude...let it go. Trust me. All she is going to do is make up a reason if you keep bugging her about it.

Move on.

what about getting my stuff back ?

I have clothes and good CD's at her house ?

Go get the stuff, now. Just politely say you're here to pick up your things and that's all you want. If she volunteers any info, take it, but don't badger her or anything. Kill her with kindness, or puppy dog eyes

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: pyonir
dude...let it go. Trust me. All she is going to do is make up a reason if you keep bugging her about it.

Move on.

what about getting my stuff back ?

I have clothes and good CD's at her house ?

Go get the stuff, now. Just politely say you're here to pick up your things and that's all you want. If she volunteers any info, take it, but don't badger her or anything. Kill her with kindness, or puppy dog eyes

and bring your new girlfriend. Chicks love that.

 

[Izzo]

I definitely wouldn't leave my CD's/clothes and give up. You really should go and get them. Just call and if anyone answers (parent, sibling, or her), say "this is polm, i need to drop by and pick up some of my stuff." The relationship may be over, but there's no sense in losing your stuff.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: Izzo
I definitely wouldn't leave my CD's/clothes and give up. You really should go and get them. Just call and if anyone answers (parent, sibling, or her), say "this is polm, i need to drop by and pick up some of my stuff." The relationship may be over, but there's no sense in losing your stuff.

Yep, just be polite but firm. Let her know you are going to pick your stuff up, and then do so immediately.

THEN you can burn the bridges.

R