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YAGT: Asking the father...

A

ATemporaryUserName

Junior Member
Within the next few weeks I plan on proposing to my beautiful girlfriend 🙂 and would like to follow tradition and ask for her father's permission. I'm extremely close to the family and I know that they support our relationship, but how does one approach this subject. They live rather far away so seeing them without my girlfriend isn't really an option, or else i'd take them out to dinner. So should I just ask straight up when my girlfriend is not present?

Just curious as to how you guys have done it in the past.

PS. This is just the name I'm using while contemplating the exact plans, she (my gf) has a tendancy to browse ATOT

I'll add some pics after the deed has been completed 😉
 
I did it this way.

I waited until her dad and I were working on replacing the alternator in my car. When he was buried in the engine compartment up to his elbows, so there was no chance whatsoever that he could hit me without giving me time to back away, I asked him.

And all this, even though I was certain he'd say yes. 🙂

I think asking for his blessing to marry his daughter was harder than asking for her hand in marriage.
 
Send him a nude telegram from a strip club. Have the stripper say "John wants to marry your little girl, can he?"

I am sure he couldn't refuse...
 
Buy some baby stuff, and bring it in and show the family. Act surprised and say "you mean she didn't tell you??!". Act embarrassed and then say "I guess this would be a bad time to ask if it would be ok for us to get married?". Wait a few minutes and tell the truth about everything.
 
Did not have to. My sister in law said "He'd make a great son-in-law wouldn't he"

Got the mom's approval right then. I never met her father, he died less than a year before I met her.
 
Originally posted by: ATemporaryUserName

PS. This is just the name I'm using while contemplating the exact plans, she (my gf) has a tendancy to browse ATOT
Click to expand...

You don't say... 😉

Hope she says yes and the father does not break anything of yours off.

 
how far away do they live, cuz u could say meet me half way or if you go to their place, say that you are going on a trip with friends, but instead go up there, but make sure you tell you friends not to call the house and what not. Hope it works out man

Dogg
 
I was wondering how do this myself.

My gf's family lives close. Her father works from home most of the time, so I was just kinda thinking of stopping over one afternoon and asking him....
Are you supposed to bring the ring to show him?
 
Originally posted by: XZeroII
Buy some baby stuff, and bring it in and show the family. Act surprised and say "you mean she didn't tell you??!". Act embarrassed and then say "I guess this would be a bad time to ask if it would be ok for us to get married?". Wait a few minutes and tell the truth about everything.
Click to expand...

Whoa, Worst Idea Ever!

 
Originally posted by: Jzero
I was wondering how do this myself.

My gf's family lives close. Her father works from home most of the time, so I was just kinda thinking of stopping over one afternoon and asking him....
Are you supposed to bring the ring to show him?
Click to expand...

Ya, i was wondering the same...anyone?
 
I am a yankee and asked for my wife's hand. She is from the south. Her dad responded by saying "one of the problems I have with you is the mason dixon line and the fact that you're from the wrong side of it."

In the end they relented. After 15 years there are times when I wished he'd have said no and kicked my a$$ out of the house.

Gravity
 
I was absolutely certain that my fiance's father would not give me his blessing to marry his daughter - he didn't approve of me (my goals/ambitions in life) and had made this verbally clear. Despite all of this, I went down to visit her parents one Easter - an 8 hour drive. I was going to ask him sometime during the visit. I knew that I would have to sieze ANY opportunity I had with him alone to ask. A few came...I was so freakin scared. I tried to steer the conversation into the topic of marriage, but he wouldn't let that happen. Finally, I was getting fed up with the subtleties, and just went straight to the point. I explained to him how much in love with his daughter I am, and she with me, after dating for 3 years. I also said that we've set boundaries for our relationship that we will not cross until marriage (ie. physical, spiritual, emotional). I explained how we have come to those walls and both desire to be married. I asked for his blessing, completely fearing his "No" response. To my utter shock, he said, "You have it." 🙂 I was the happiest man on the earth at that moment.

Best wishes to you! Only 6 more weeks for me until I marry this AMAZING woman!! 😀
 
Originally posted by: ATemporaryUserName
Originally posted by: Jzero
I was wondering how do this myself.

My gf's family lives close. Her father works from home most of the time, so I was just kinda thinking of stopping over one afternoon and asking him....
Are you supposed to bring the ring to show him?
Click to expand...

Ya, i was wondering the same...anyone?
Click to expand...
I don't think you need to show the ring to the father. However, it could be a useful tool if here were to say "No." You could then say, "Take this ring, and hold on to it. When you feel I am ready to marry your daughter, give it back to me." 🙂 BOOM! Ball is in his court, he feels good, you are respecting him, ect.
 
Originally posted by: ATemporaryUserName
Within the next few weeks I plan on proposing to my beautiful girlfriend 🙂 and would like to follow tradition and ask for her father's permission. I'm extremely close to the family and I know that they support our relationship, but how does one approach this subject. They live rather far away so seeing them without my girlfriend isn't really an option, or else i'd take them out to dinner. So should I just ask straight up when my girlfriend is not present?

Just curious as to how you guys have done it in the past.

PS. This is just the name I'm using while contemplating the exact plans, she (my gf) has a tendancy to browse ATOT

I'll add some pics after the deed has been completed 😉
Click to expand...

Does she read YAGT.ORG?? 😀
 
Originally posted by: fonzinator
I was absolutely certain that my fiance's father would not give me his blessing to marry his daughter - he didn't approve of me (my goals/ambitions in life) and had made this verbally clear. Despite all of this, I went down to visit her parents one Easter - an 8 hour drive. I was going to ask him sometime during the visit. I knew that I would have to sieze ANY opportunity I had with him alone to ask. A few came...I was so freakin scared. I tried to steer the conversation into the topic of marriage, but he wouldn't let that happen. Finally, I was getting fed up with the subtleties, and just went straight to the point. I explained to him how much in love with his daughter I am, and she with me, after dating for 3 years. I also said that we've set boundaries for our relationship that we will not cross until marriage (ie. physical, spiritual, emotional). I explained how we have come to those walls and both desire to be married. I asked for his blessing, completely fearing his "No" response. To my utter shock, he said, "You have it." 🙂 I was the happiest man on the earth at that moment.

Best wishes to you! Only 6 more weeks for me until I marry this AMAZING woman!! 😀
Click to expand...

That's nice and all....however by the time I'd get to asking 'pop' would be about the same time I have to flip my mattress.

Anyways I have had 3 fiancees and 2 wives, all asking was done posthumously and all 3 women had said they would have been pissed off beyond explaination if I asked their dad first (2 already had guys asking their dad first (one a few times) and it just caused problems).

Depends on the girl I guess and what you do with her.

 
Originally posted by: fonzinator
Originally posted by: ATemporaryUserName
Originally posted by: Jzero
I was wondering how do this myself.

My gf's family lives close. Her father works from home most of the time, so I was just kinda thinking of stopping over one afternoon and asking him....
Are you supposed to bring the ring to show him?
Click to expand...

Ya, i was wondering the same...anyone?
Click to expand...
I don't think you need to show the ring to the father. However, it could be a useful tool if here were to say "No." You could then say, "Take this ring, and hold on to it. When you feel I am ready to marry your daughter, give it back to me." 🙂 BOOM! Ball is in his court, he feels good, you are respecting him, ect.
Click to expand...

Bwahaha. After I pay for the ring, I'm not letting it out of my sight until it's insured and on the woman's finger.
Her father isn't going to say no, anyway. It's pretty much been heavily discussed with parents on both sides of the family and no one is naysaying.
 
i think you should show her father the ring. my friend's fiance did when he asked... he just went over to the house when he knew his gf wasnt gonna be there and asked.. then proposed that night..
 
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