I go to school in Baltimore (University of Baltimore) and she goes to school in New York (NYU). Every month, I have to make the trip for a weekend up to New York, and as much as I love New York and I love seeing my girlfriend, it gets costly and inconvenient. I travel by greyhoud bus, it's pretty cheap....$53 with her student advantage number. But once Im there, I spend way too much on shopping and ding out. Lately I've been telling her Im not built for long distance relationships and it's just too much trouble for me and too much of a hassle I dont want to deal with and she keep pursauding me to stick with it because it'll pay off when were finished (marriage.) We're pretty serious together, but this damn distance is a pain and some people just arent built for it. Lately the distance has been making me very distant from her, I've heard it can do this to some people. The thing is, she's fine with it and she says "If it means I only get to see you once a month, then thats the way it's gonna be because it's better than not having you at all." This weekend is make-it or break-it. We'll see.
YAGT: Another long distance girlfriend rant.
- Thread starter MommysLittleMonster
- Start date
why dont you guys just hang out rather than shopping and dining out, then it wouldnt be such a financial burden.
rh71
No Lifer
- Aug 28, 2001
- 52,844
- 1,049
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obvious answer - how about a compromise for her to travel to see you once in a while? When my gf (at the time) lived a 45 minute drive from me (that's if there's no traffic) I told her I was getting sick of the driving every single week. She actually started coming out to me instead and we would practically alternate weekends.
Like you say - the relationship is serious and apparently you have strong feelings about this problem (I would too)... tell her to help you fix it by compromising. It's not like there's a good reason that she can't hop on a bus.
Like you say - the relationship is serious and apparently you have strong feelings about this problem (I would too)... tell her to help you fix it by compromising. It's not like there's a good reason that she can't hop on a bus.
What this guy said. Also, drop it to once every other month to help save more money. If you feel its a chore to visit her, then you shouldnt go until you feel like it.
Also, why can't she go visit you ~ it'd only be fair, plus it would split the cost between the two of you.
It's hard not to go out. I love New York. And now since I have a reason to be up there so often, I get to go to all the stores we dont have in Baltimore. I dont mind staying in, and we usually do for the
most part
, but come on, you know how hard it is not to spend money in place you're visting.She comes home on holidays and breaks, and once in a great while she can come home randomly. What she needs to do it drop out and come home to a Community College. lol
keep it simple and go from there, you just have to ask yourself:
is she worth all this effort i'm putting in?
is she worth the effort to make this work?
if you have any doubt in your mind, then it may be time to move on...cuz if you continue to drag it out, you'll end up resenting her and yourself for sticking around for something you didn't think was worth it in the first place...don't beat a dead horse...
is she worth all this effort i'm putting in?
is she worth the effort to make this work?
if you have any doubt in your mind, then it may be time to move on...cuz if you continue to drag it out, you'll end up resenting her and yourself for sticking around for something you didn't think was worth it in the first place...don't beat a dead horse...
If you ain't getting any from her once a month, then drop it like it's hot!
I tend to be cynical when it comes to college students and maintaing long distance relationships. There are too many temptations, especially if you dorm.
I tend to be cynical when it comes to college students and maintaing long distance relationships. There are too many temptations, especially if you dorm.
purbeast0
No Lifer
- Sep 13, 2001
- 53,424
- 6,269
- 126
i was in the same situation, cept my GF went to cornell which is the total opposite side of NY than the city, and I went to school at UMD. we did this for about 1.5 years, and over those years, i strongly lost feelings for her. we saw eachother (during the school year) once every three weeks, and when we did it was for the weekend. i worked on the weekends so i didnt get a chance to take off much.
the funny thing is when she was at home, she was like half a mile from me. while at school, we were like 6 hours apart. the distance really drove us apart, atleast me. i got used to not having her around and going out with my friends, etc. so eventually i just tol dher that i really did not have feelings for her. it was very hard to do, but it is the best thing. now i am with my new gf and i love her to death and am so glad I did what i did before.
like you said, long distance relationships arent for everyone. i am glad i did what i did, because i think i would regret if i didnt. the only things we regret in life are the risks we don't take. keep that in mind.
the funny thing is when she was at home, she was like half a mile from me. while at school, we were like 6 hours apart. the distance really drove us apart, atleast me. i got used to not having her around and going out with my friends, etc. so eventually i just tol dher that i really did not have feelings for her. it was very hard to do, but it is the best thing. now i am with my new gf and i love her to death and am so glad I did what i did before.
like you said, long distance relationships arent for everyone. i am glad i did what i did, because i think i would regret if i didnt. the only things we regret in life are the risks we don't take. keep that in mind.
Why has noone asked for pics ?
You dont have a GF until you show one together holding a white paper that says ATOTism
You dont have a GF until you show one together holding a white paper that says ATOTism
Yea, my gf and I are on different pages. For her, I dont think the distance will affect her feelings for me. But for myself, it creates a good amount of distance that I feel for her. I can notice it on the phone lately. We will be talking and I will run out of things to say and I'll get bored. In person, we are perfect together, we never argue, and never have. We always have something to say, in fact we have to shutup once in a while for the other person to talk. Things are perfect together. But 4 hours away, we argue a little over the phone, run out of things to say on the phone. Like I said, things are totally different and great when we visit each other.
I guess she doesn't mind inconveniencing you and you don't seem to mind being used in the relationship
Cliff Notes:
you lose money - you lose time - get no regular nookie - she gets your free gifts you buy for her in NY - she gets to have fling rest of weeks - you strung along by her saying "when we get married"
Cliff Notes:
you lose money - you lose time - get no regular nookie - she gets your free gifts you buy for her in NY - she gets to have fling rest of weeks - you strung along by her saying "when we get married"
purbeast0
No Lifer
- Sep 13, 2001
- 53,424
- 6,269
- 126
lol dude that sounds JUST like me and my ex. it seemed so 'perfect'. we never fought, we always had fun together, and it was a very easy going relationship. then the distance drove us apart.
but honestly, i think relationships that are so 'perfect' with no fighting, no disagreements and everything just always goes right, is kind of unhealthy. i mean, me and my ex NEVER faught, we NEVER disagreed, etc. seemed almost TOO good. however, i lost feelings for her. but with my new GF, we get in little arguments sometimes and other little fights sometimes, and we disagree about stuff too. but i think those little things make the relationship stronger because in the end you understand eachother better and learn what the other person wants more.
i dont know, that last thing seems like sopmething i can't explain too well, but maybe you will know what im saying. basically, when it seems like everything is just too perfect, IMO, something is wrong in that itself, and i know from my personal experience.
It kind of sounds like the money is not really the issue here. It's natural to lose your attachment to a person when you hardly ever see them. If you don't think you can hold out until you guys are done with school then just tell her and end it now. It's only going to get worse.
If you do think you can hold out, then you might want to try working out more frequent visits from her. It might alleviate some of the feelings you are having.
If you do think you can hold out, then you might want to try working out more frequent visits from her. It might alleviate some of the feelings you are having.
hahaha. dude, i drive 45 minutes each way to school EVERY DAY, and sometimes an hour+ each way to band practice on top of that. and you were complaining about driving 45 minutes once a week to get laid? sheesh.
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