This girl that I've been "with" (Loosely boyfriend & girlfriend, as we do all that stuff together, but it's an open relationship and our primary emotional attachment is on a much more parental level - if that makes any freaking sense to anyone but me) for the past... 4 years or so, has been seeing another guy lately. I'm fine with this - I've always stood by the idea that she can do whatever she wants with herself and her body, and that my primary purpose is just to be there when she screws up.
So anyway, she's been seeing this other guy for 3 weeks. They were out on a boat for god knows what reason yesterday, supposedly "fishing." Just her, him, and one of his friends. Anyway, she calls me at like 3AM last night, madly upset and for the life of me, I can't understand what the hell she's babbling on about. I tell her to calm down and talk to me about it in the morning.
She stays home from school "sick" and I head over there after school today to find out what the hell is going on. While I'm there, she tells me this heat-wrenching story about how these two assholes fed her some marijuana and vodka and got her to consent to sex. She was a virgin up until yesterday afternoon
and is absolutely convinced that I'm mad at her (I got flaming pissed when she told me this, but not at her).
How the fvck do I help her understand that she didn't do anything wrong - and more importantly, what's proper ettiquette for exacting some retribution for this horrible transgression?
And no, telling her parents are out - her mother would ship her off to a convent, and her father is a fvcking child/wife beating bastard living half a continent away (thank god).
UPDATE
Jesus christ I hate it when you guys are right.
She wasn't raped, she just made it up to supposedly make me less upset. Apparently (Though I'm not sure if I should believe what I'm told anymore - I was seriously ready to gather a few buddies and go trash a coupla ricemobiles over nothing) the whole purpose of this little water trip was to get some sexx0r going - and she went because she was "tired of [my] excuses" when she wanted to have sex. This has happened between us no fewer than 10 times over the past year. We both get goin and once we're nekkid and about to do "it", I'd ask if she was sure of what she was about to do and what the potential consequences are and such. She always backed out at that point. I guess she interpreted that as my way of saying no.
Dammit, sometimes being a nice guy sucks.
No drugs or alcohol were consumed until afterwards - and she says the only reason she did those was to try to overcome the remorse she was beginning to feel.
I guess this is one of those issues that the two of us are going to have to work over together.
Now I feel like an ass for posting this to begin with.
UPDATE 2
Ahh! I link it and it ressurects! For people clicking this thread for the first time, all is fine now, despite ATOT general opinion and in the end it's been an overall relationship booster (Neither of us are sane - it doesn't have to make sense. I think.)
So anyway, she's been seeing this other guy for 3 weeks. They were out on a boat for god knows what reason yesterday, supposedly "fishing." Just her, him, and one of his friends. Anyway, she calls me at like 3AM last night, madly upset and for the life of me, I can't understand what the hell she's babbling on about. I tell her to calm down and talk to me about it in the morning.
She stays home from school "sick" and I head over there after school today to find out what the hell is going on. While I'm there, she tells me this heat-wrenching story about how these two assholes fed her some marijuana and vodka and got her to consent to sex. She was a virgin up until yesterday afternoon
and is absolutely convinced that I'm mad at her (I got flaming pissed when she told me this, but not at her).How the fvck do I help her understand that she didn't do anything wrong - and more importantly, what's proper ettiquette for exacting some retribution for this horrible transgression?
And no, telling her parents are out - her mother would ship her off to a convent, and her father is a fvcking child/wife beating bastard living half a continent away (thank god).
UPDATE
Jesus christ I hate it when you guys are right.
She wasn't raped, she just made it up to supposedly make me less upset. Apparently (Though I'm not sure if I should believe what I'm told anymore - I was seriously ready to gather a few buddies and go trash a coupla ricemobiles over nothing) the whole purpose of this little water trip was to get some sexx0r going - and she went because she was "tired of [my] excuses" when she wanted to have sex. This has happened between us no fewer than 10 times over the past year. We both get goin and once we're nekkid and about to do "it", I'd ask if she was sure of what she was about to do and what the potential consequences are and such. She always backed out at that point. I guess she interpreted that as my way of saying no.
Dammit, sometimes being a nice guy sucks.
No drugs or alcohol were consumed until afterwards - and she says the only reason she did those was to try to overcome the remorse she was beginning to feel.
I guess this is one of those issues that the two of us are going to have to work over together.
Now I feel like an ass for posting this to begin with.
UPDATE 2
Ahh! I link it and it ressurects! For people clicking this thread for the first time, all is fine now, despite ATOT general opinion and in the end it's been an overall relationship booster (Neither of us are sane - it doesn't have to make sense. I think.)
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