YAGT: am I in the dreaded friend zone??

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Hmm actually this testimonial might be a response to my testimonial that I wrote to her a couple of weeks ago...

Here is what I wrote:

**** is a cute, happy and cheerful girl! She always brightens up the atmosphere whenever she's around. I've known her since like what? junior high? Hahahh... I remember our tennis lessons together, and also remember our trip to Thailand? hahah that was a looonngg time ago..Bottom line **** is a very nice girl to have as a friend and she will definitely add spice to your life!! :)

So might she be basing her testimonial off mine?? (pay attention to the friend part at the end...)

 

Dragnov

Diamond Member
Apr 24, 2001
6,878
0
0
You do know although you edited your name out the first sentence, you forgot to do so on the third sentence. lol. (I won't quote it so you can edit it if you wish.)

And in all honesty and seriousness, yes I do believe you are in that zone. Possibly friends with benefit, till some bad boy comes along that she likes more.
 

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: Gr1mL0cK
You do know although you edited your name out the first sentence, you forgot to do so on the third sentence. lol.

And in all honesty and seriousness, yes I do believe you are in that zone. Possibly friends with benefit, till some bad boy comes along that she likes more.

crap... haha ok fixed thanks...

hmm oh well... nothign ventured nothing gained!!!

 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,303
15
81
You ARE in the friend zone at the moment. However, unlike most such situations, there is hope if you are only in the zone because of your lack of physical proximity to her.
 

Dragnov

Diamond Member
Apr 24, 2001
6,878
0
0
Originally posted by: z0mb13
Originally posted by: Gr1mL0cK
You do know although you edited your name out the first sentence, you forgot to do so on the third sentence. lol.

And in all honesty and seriousness, yes I do believe you are in that zone. Possibly friends with benefit, till some bad boy comes along that she likes more.

crap... haha ok fixed thanks...

hmm oh well... nothign ventured nothing gained!!!

P.S. You still need to edit the one on YAGT.org. ;)
 

poopygood

Senior member
Apr 14, 2002
818
0
0
Listen, the Ice-cream-man hit the nail on the head. [most] girls like a challenge, they want the bad boy, the one who's a bit aloof or whatever. They want to take this bad boy and *change him*, (then they will undoubtedly b!tch about how you have "changed" and are not the person they fell in love with. But that's another thread). Still, don't be a complete @zzhole, but don't be the Mr. Rogers either.

Wise man once said:

"Nice guys don't get laid."
 

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: Gr1mL0cK
Originally posted by: z0mb13
Originally posted by: Gr1mL0cK
You do know although you edited your name out the first sentence, you forgot to do so on the third sentence. lol.

And in all honesty and seriousness, yes I do believe you are in that zone. Possibly friends with benefit, till some bad boy comes along that she likes more.

crap... haha ok fixed thanks...

hmm oh well... nothign ventured nothing gained!!!

P.S. You still need to edit the one on YAGT.org. ;)

argghhh thanks man!! :)
 

Sid59

Lifer
Sep 2, 2002
11,879
3
81
Originally posted by: z0mb13
Originally posted by: Sid59
i wouldn't read into that much. but if you want my EXPERT opinion .... she's seeing the MilkMan

WTF????

lol .. i wouldn't worry about it. ..

afraid of the FRIEND ZONE? are you currently give each other BF / GF names? if not , they you are already in the friend zone.
 

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: poopygood
Listen, the Ice-cream-man hit the nail on the head. [most] girls like a challenge, they want the bad boy, the one who's a bit aloof or whatever. They want to take this bad boy and *change him*, (then they will undoubtedly b!tch about how you have "changed" and are not the person they fell in love with. But that's another thread). Still, don't be a complete @zzhole, but don't be the Mr. Rogers either.

Wise man once said:

"Nice guys don't get laid."

hmm keep in mind that we are from a totally different culture..

yes girls in our culture might also like "bad boys", but the intensity is MUCHHH lower...
 

poopygood

Senior member
Apr 14, 2002
818
0
0
Keep in mind, that's just a generalization, I know many people of both sexes from different countries, everywhere has there "cool guys" and a dork is dork, be it USA, India, China, etc...

but what culture/country are we talking about?
 

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: poopygood
Keep in mind, that's just a generalization, I know many people of both sexes from different countries, everywhere has there "cool guys" and a dork is dork, be it USA, India, China, etc...

but what culture/country are we talking about?

hmm I cannot say specifically (I enjoy anynomity)

but we are Asians...
 

EmperorOfIceCream

Senior member
Jan 23, 2004
316
0
0
Originally posted by: poopygood
Listen, the Ice-cream-man hit the nail on the head. [most] girls like a challenge, they want the bad boy, the one who's a bit aloof or whatever. They want to take this bad boy and *change him*, (then they will undoubtedly b!tch about how you have "changed" and are not the person they fell in love with. But that's another thread). Still, don't be a complete @zzhole, but don't be the Mr. Rogers either.

Wise man once said:

"Nice guys don't get laid."

No no no no no - forget the idea of bad guy(semi-asshole)/ nice guy.

What you need to do is realize that you are in control of your own world. The woman is not in control of your world. But women will try to control your world. They will try to get you to do things. It may be as simple as them asking you to put a dish in the sink, or having you call for pizza instead of her calling. When she does these things(some will try to do them constantly) call her on it! Why can't she put her own dish in the dishwasher...?

Now heres the key...when you bust her trying to get you to do something - be ever so slightly funny about the way you do it. Basically, it boils down to being cocky/funny. "You want me to put your dish in the dishwasher!? Should I load the whole sofa in there too? What is the world coming to!? What are you going to ask me to do next?"
 

poopygood

Senior member
Apr 14, 2002
818
0
0
Originally posted by: TheEmperorOfIceCream
Originally posted by: poopygood
Listen, the Ice-cream-man hit the nail on the head. [most] girls like a challenge, they want the bad boy, the one who's a bit aloof or whatever. They want to take this bad boy and *change him*, (then they will undoubtedly b!tch about how you have "changed" and are not the person they fell in love with. But that's another thread). Still, don't be a complete @zzhole, but don't be the Mr. Rogers either.

Wise man once said:

"Nice guys don't get laid."

No no no no no - forget the idea of bad guy(semi-asshole)/ nice guy.

What you need to do is realize that you are in control of your own world. The woman is not in control of your world. But women will try to control your world. They will try to get you to do things. It may be as simple as them asking you to put a dish in the sink, or having you call for pizza instead of her calling. When she does these things(some will try to do them constantly) call her on it! Why can't she put her own dish in the dishwasher...?

Now heres the key...when you bust her trying to get you to do something - be ever so slightly funny about the way you do it. Basically, it boils down to being cocky/funny. "You want me to put your dish in the dishwasher!? Should I load the whole sofa in there too? What is the world coming to!? What are you going to ask me to do next?"

Nah, that stuff is more when there is already a BF/GF relationship, and has more to do with power.

Before the relationship is there, you also have to do the same thing though, I.E. not be super NICE. Which is the point I'm trying to make, like you yourself said, take control "don't act like a wussy around them!" Be nice but not a d@mn butler to them, be a man, but not an @ss.
 

Yossarian

Lifer
Dec 26, 2000
18,010
1
81
You couldn't be MORE in the friend zone. You even have written proof, which takes all the guesswork out of it.
 

EmperorOfIceCream

Senior member
Jan 23, 2004
316
0
0
Originally posted by: poopygood
Originally posted by: TheEmperorOfIceCream
Originally posted by: poopygood
Listen, the Ice-cream-man hit the nail on the head. [most] girls like a challenge, they want the bad boy, the one who's a bit aloof or whatever. They want to take this bad boy and *change him*, (then they will undoubtedly b!tch about how you have "changed" and are not the person they fell in love with. But that's another thread). Still, don't be a complete @zzhole, but don't be the Mr. Rogers either.

Wise man once said:

"Nice guys don't get laid."

No no no no no - forget the idea of bad guy(semi-asshole)/ nice guy.

What you need to do is realize that you are in control of your own world. The woman is not in control of your world. But women will try to control your world. They will try to get you to do things. It may be as simple as them asking you to put a dish in the sink, or having you call for pizza instead of her calling. When she does these things(some will try to do them constantly) call her on it! Why can't she put her own dish in the dishwasher...?

Now heres the key...when you bust her trying to get you to do something - be ever so slightly funny about the way you do it. Basically, it boils down to being cocky/funny. "You want me to put your dish in the dishwasher!? Should I load the whole sofa in there too? What is the world coming to!? What are you going to ask me to do next?"

Nah, that stuff is more when there is already a BF/GF relationship, and has more to do with power.

Before the relationship is there, you also have to do the same thing though, I.E. not be super NICE. Which is the point I'm trying to make, like you yourself said, take control "don't act like a wussy around them!" Be nice but not a d@mn butler to them, be a man, but not an @ss.

Its always about power. Women are attracted to men that are powerful(men are attracted to women with nice t!ts).

Earlier this week I was at a concert at the local pub. I met this cute girl through some of my friends there. We hit it off - and before I knew it she was asking me to hold her beer. Did I hold it? No! But what I did do is have her hold my beer :D. She resisted of course, but I took both her hands(this was when she was done with hers) and wrapped them around my pint glass, holding them there until she held my glass. What did this demonstrate? That I was an asshole? Of course not...It demonstrated that I was powerful. Not much later she was pressing her body against me while we chatted/listened to the music...
 

poopygood

Senior member
Apr 14, 2002
818
0
0
I see your point of view now...
it's a matter of perspetive, some people would take the rejecting her asking you to hold her beer as being "mean"....

My P.O.V. is like this:
The "nice guy" would hold her beer, thus ending a chance at the *score*, (by giving into her so easliy). While the "Bad guy" would do something like what you did, and you know the results of being the "bad guy" in this scenario.

Neither title really fits, but maybe explaining this way helps others (and you, EmperorofIceCream) to see my P.O.V.
 

EmperorOfIceCream

Senior member
Jan 23, 2004
316
0
0
Originally posted by: poopygood
I see your point of view now...
it's a matter of perspetive, some people would take the rejecting her asking you to hold her beer as being "mean"....

My P.O.V. is like this:
The "nice guy" would hold her beer, thus ending a chance at the *score*, (by giving into her so easliy). While the "Bad guy" would do something like what you did, and you know the results of being the "bad guy" in this scenario.

Neither title really fits, but maybe explaining this way helps others (and you, EmperorofIceCream) to see my P.O.V.

One way to think about it is "in control"/"not in control"
Or "powerful"/"not powerful"
Or "less powerful than her"/"more powerful than her"
Or "more attractive than her"/"less attractive than her"

The problem with "nice guy" / "bad guy" is that it assumes that it is "nice" to be weak and "bad" to be powerful. It is good to be powerful! Thats what women want!