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YAGT: Advice needed asap!!

BD231

BD231

Lifer
I've come to the conclusion that understanding girls and giving them what they want is a PH*CKING ART FORM. Why? Cus I don't think most guys really "like" girls. Sure they like ass, but would you really wanna watch a game or feel comfortable making an ass out of yourself with one of them early on in the dating stage?? JMO

A good lookin girl at work and I are cool with eachother, have been for quite some time. She asked me to the movies this week which I was cool with. The thing is, I know this chick is just trying to get with me (we've been working together for over a year, I just know this chick and honestly don't see myself with her unless she gets over the insicurity bullsh*t, she's only 23 though so I'm giving her some time).

I'm not a hit and run kinna guy though and there are some things that really make us a good match. I'd like to use this situation to learn a few things if I can.

I guess my biggest question would be what should you do to get a hot chick to stop talking sh*t about the way she loooks???? More importantly, what's the best way to make her feel or KNOW you think she looks good without sounding like a weak b....??? You know how chicks get when you confess a feeling/thought that dosen't quite hold true to them >:^(.

I'm a "noob" when it comes to girls like this. I've been with quite a few ladies with no problems at all but the "hot, self concious chick" is new ground for me. How should I present myself, hardcore?, softie? or just keep it real and see what happens?

Any tips would be great!
 
Just tell her how you feel. Don't yell at here like she has done something wrong, but just tell her there the truth.
 
Present yourself? Are you trying to get laid or get hired for a job? WTF is wrong w/you?

She asked YOU out. She's hot for you. Go to the movies. Blah, blah, blah, then put the moves on her. She'll give up the panties. She gets plowed, you dip the wick; everyone live Happily Ever After.

Where's the issues here? I don't see it.
 
You will not get a girl to stop worrying about how she looks. Ever. There are a rare few girls who don't worry about how they look, but that has to do with them, not the guys they're with. You are completely capable of making the worrying worse.

To a girl, like it or not, her appearance has a lot to do with her value. There's nothing you can say to assure her once and for all that she's as beautiful as she is; the concern about being attractive is an ongoing thing and it's not possible to say something once that will end it.

Keep it real. Express your thoughts when you think she looks nice; maybe that will help her relax about how she looks a little bit. I never understood the concept of a dating relationship where you act anything but real - doesn't acting like something other than yourself just attract girls who like the type of guys who, well, aren't you?
 
Addressing the insecurity issue with her looks:

When you are out with her and you're somewhere alone say a park or sitting on a bench (make this happen, you're a smart guy figure it out), start talking to her about something. Give her a compliment on how she looks (e.g. you have beautiful eyes or I like your smile a lot).

If she responds with something like, "Oh I'm not pretty, my blah blah blah aren't as blah blah blah." You hold her hands, look her right in the eyes and kiss her. When you are done, whisper into her ear, "Don't ever say again, ever." pull back so she can see your face, then SMILE (sincerely) <--- make sure she sees you smiling otherwise this could backfire.

You got it? I've done this before and it has never failed (because I meant it). Don't you guys start using this just to get laid, it'll cheapen it.

Good luck!
 
Originally posted by: ColdFusion718
Addressing the insecurity issue with her looks:

When you are out with her and you're somewhere alone say a park or sitting on a bench (make this happen, you're a smart guy figure it out), start talking to her about something. Give her a compliment on how she looks (e.g. you have beautiful eyes or I like your smile a lot).

If she responds with something like, "Oh I'm not pretty, my blah blah blah aren't as blah blah blah." You hold her hands, look her right in the eyes and kiss her. When you are done, whisper into her ear, "Don't ever say again, ever." pull back so she can see your face, then SMILE (sincerely) <--- make sure she sees you smiling otherwise this could backfire.

You got it? I've done this before and it has never failed (because I meant it). Don't you guys start using this just to get laid, it'll cheapen it.

Good luck!
Click to expand...


Awwww. Good advice.
Yes, I agree, don't abuse this tactic.
Be yourself or else you'll have to keep up your fake presentation.
G'luck!
 
Originally posted by: HotChic
You will not get a girl to stop worrying about how she looks. Ever. There are a rare few girls who don't worry about how they look, but that has to do with them, not the guys they're with. You are completely capable of making the worrying worse.

To a girl, like it or not, her appearance has a lot to do with her value. There's nothing you can say to assure her once and for all that she's as beautiful as she is; the concern about being attractive is an ongoing thing and it's not possible to say something once that will end it.

Keep it real. Express your thoughts when you think she looks nice; maybe that will help her relax about how she looks a little bit. I never understood the concept of a dating relationship where you act anything but real - doesn't acting like something other than yourself just attract girls who like the type of guys who, well, aren't you?
Click to expand...

why was your post edited by a mod?
 
Originally posted by: ColdFusion718
Addressing the insecurity issue with her looks:

When you are out with her and you're somewhere alone say a park or sitting on a bench (make this happen, you're a smart guy figure it out), start talking to her about something. Give her a compliment on how she looks (e.g. you have beautiful eyes or I like your smile a lot).

If she responds with something like, "Oh I'm not pretty, my blah blah blah aren't as blah blah blah." You hold her hands, look her right in the eyes and kiss her. When you are done, whisper into her ear, "Don't ever say again, ever." pull back so she can see your face, then SMILE (sincerely) <--- make sure she sees you smiling otherwise this could backfire.

You got it? I've done this before and it has never failed (because I meant it). Don't you guys start using this just to get laid, it'll cheapen it.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

And then the curtain falls on this picturesque moment of movie-like beauty?

My advice to you, don't over-do it like this. God that's incredibly weak, I can't even begin to touch on that. Unless you guys are in the habit of kissing each other (which, from the sounds of it, you are not) and unless you guys are knee-deep in a relationship already I can see that backfiring horribly. Need I explain the consequences to such an action in depth, or can I trust you to understand them on your own my friend?
 
Originally posted by: BD231
I've come to the conclusion that understanding girls and giving them what they want is a PH*CKING ART FORM. Why? Cus I don't think most guys really "like" girls. Sure they like ass, but would you really wanna watch a game or feel comfortable making an ass out of yourself with one of them early on in the dating stage?? JMO

A good lookin girl at work and I are cool with eachother, have been for quite some time. She asked me to the movies this week which I was cool with. The thing is, I know this chick is just trying to get with me (we've been working together for over a year, I just know this chick and honestly don't see myself with her unless she gets over the insicurity bullsh*t, she's only 23 though so I'm giving her some time).

I'm not a hit and run kinna guy though and there are some things that really make us a good match. I'd like to use this situation to learn a few things if I can.

I guess my biggest question would be what should you do to get a hot chick to stop talking sh*t about the way she loooks???? More importantly, what's the best way to make her feel or KNOW you think she looks good without sounding like a weak b....??? You know how chicks get when you confess a feeling/thought that dosen't quite hold true to them >:^(.

I'm a "noob" when it comes to girls like this. I've been with quite a few ladies with no problems at all but the "hot, self concious chick" is new ground for me. How should I present myself, hardcore?, softie? or just keep it real and see what happens?

Any tips would be great!
Click to expand...

well it depends, she might think she can do better if u make her get to much confidence, haha i've seen that happen no offense to ya or anything just a fair warning.
 
Originally posted by: HotChic
You will not get a girl to stop worrying about how she looks. Ever. There are a rare few girls who don't worry about how they look, but that has to do with them, not the guys they're with. You are completely capable of making the worrying worse.

To a girl, like it or not, her appearance has a lot to do with her value. There's nothing you can say to assure her once and for all that she's as beautiful as she is; the concern about being attractive is an ongoing thing and it's not possible to say something once that will end it.

Keep it real. Express your thoughts when you think she looks nice; maybe that will help her relax about how she looks a little bit. I never understood the concept of a dating relationship where you act anything but real - doesn't acting like something other than yourself just attract girls who like the type of guys who, well, aren't you?
Click to expand...

It makes sense that words would not be enough to sway her thoughts on how she looks as self confidence seems to be a huge issue with men and women alike.

When I say "present myself", it's more of a "be catious, see what this is girl is really about" filter in a sense, more of an approach type deal. There's a layer of ice that needs to be broken but it's been a SUPER tough one to break! She's so cought up in how she comes off to others but I get the feeling she's not even aware of it. She also seems scared to talk when she's around me alone, like she'll say something stupid. I just wanna say "CHILL OUT AND KICK BACK DAMNIT!". But that would never work.

I've spent nights at this girls house, done the cuddle thing, she likes making dinner, ect. I'm totally cool with all of that, but I just can't figure out this insecure crap!! It really gets in the way of things because she tries to avoid anything that conflicts with the issue. If I happen to be that thing (from what one of her friends told me my looks can make her choke up or get intimidated and I'm not bragging, that's just THE CASE) she gets in a funk then calls me after work as if nothing was up!

I feel it's fuggin childish but I understand where it's coming from, I can't hold her inability to deal with fear against her. I just wish I knew how to help her out!!
 
Since you've known her for a long time I assume you have a good relationship with her. From what I read here it seems like she has communication problems. Remember: communication is the key to all success. If this was a chick you barely knew, I'd avoid this, but in your situation I think you ought to have a serious talk with her and just lay out the cards. You don't have to spill your guts. You don't have to confess your undying love for her. You don't have to be an emotional tampon or surrogate girlfriend. Just be straight with her and help her open up.

As the adage goes, actions speak louder than words. Show her through actions, too, what you think (and I'm not talking about the humpty dumpty...)
 
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