- Apr 10, 2000
- 19,579
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This is a long story so you have been warned. I'll try to shorten a lot of it. There are a few details left out but that's because I don't know them.
Friend: male who loves outdoor activity and stays fit. Does not drink much and wants a woman who loves outdoor activity as well.
GF: female who weighs at least 200 pounds who does not like physical activity. Drinks a lot.
Jane: female friend of GF
Sally: other female friend of GF
Friend finally met his first girlfriend (GF) back in November 2004. He met her through yahoo personals. They met up and it seemed to be ok at first. She has a drinking problem (drinks too much) and would always get belligerent towards him when she's drunk. One time she called him and left him a message telling to fvck off and she doesn't want to hear from him again (apparently he wasn't moving fast enough for him. This is about 1 month after meeting each other in person.)
Now my friend calls her back and tries to find out what's up. She does not apologize for what she said at all. So they get back together. Her "explanation" for her behavior is that she's been treated poorly by other guys in the past. Throughout this whole time, he's always trying to get her to work out or go jogging with him and she tries it once or twice but doesn't like it and complains the whole time. GF also has a habit of being dismissive of him (meaning whenever they argue and Friend tries to say something, she'll just wave her hand and say "Whatever" and not listen to him)
Friend's complaints about GF:
She's overweight
She's disgusting (her apartment has dirty clothes everywhere and trash all over)
She's dismissive of him (see above)
She has a kitten and a puppy that live with her and they pee and poop everywhere. When she moved in with my friend, the dog would pee on their bed while they're sleeping and the cat would spray everywhere. She doesn't have a problem with this)
--------------INTERMISSION-------------------
Fast forward to last month or so:
She's a teacher so she has the summer off so she moves in with him (she lives about 3 hours away). He works all day and when he comes home, the place is basically a pig sty (just like her apartment) and she just sits home and watches TV all day (Jerry Springer is one of her favorite shows). He says nothing to her about it. She starts bitching at him because he starts cleaning up the place when he gets home. She says he's some "OCD" freak. Thanks to her, his apartment is becoming nasty now. There was cat urine/smell everywhere and the litter box was not being changed at all. The dog would pee everywhere. Friend tried to not let it get out of control though. Hence, he was always picking up after her.
She starts bitching about his studying all the time (he's currently working on his master's degree) This drama is stressing Friend and he scores a 77 on an exam. So GF tells him that she doesn't think he's really studying and if he has been, he's a "retard." GF also tells him that she doesn't want to have his children because they'll be "retards" like him. He says nothing to her about this.
Fast forward to a few days later (I think it was a few days later or a week or so) and she calls him at work and tells him that she's breaking up with him. GF tells Friend not to come home (his home btw) and that she's going to leave that evening. Of course after being convinced that he needs to go home, he goes home. So she yells at him as usual and calls him names and tells him that she has been doing all the work in the relationship and he hasn't been doing anything (Which is of course a lie). He then walked off because she was leaving and when he came back, she was still there. She tells him she changed her mind and just goes inside. (Nothing gets resolved).
---------------INTERMISSION 2-------------------
One thing I forgot to mention is how much was spent in this relationship. He estimated around 8-9 thousand dollars in a period of 6 months. He would basically pay for everything including a 7 day cruise.
Back to the story...
After this happened they had previously planned a trip to another city down south. It was Friend, GF, Jane, and Sally. So they all go down to the city (5 hours away) and GF is basically being her bitchy self. She keeps playing these stupid games where she gets upset because Friend offered to help Jane with her bags because she had too many.
They go out to a bar that night and Friend just has a single beer while Jane and GF are drinking it up as usual. The total comes out to about $100 and Friend gives his credit card. Jane then says no let me help you with that and Friend calls the bartender back. GF gives Friend about $40.00 but Jane is unable to find any cash on her. So Friend gives the $40 and his credit card to the bartender and tells him to charge the rest to his card. Of course, GF gets upset about this and tells him he should not have taken her money if Friend did not take any money from Jane.
Later that night, they go back home and GF is pissed off and goes off by herself from the hotel room. Friend refuses to let her go by herself since she's drunk and it's about 3AM. She proceeds to tell him "Stay the fvck away from me!" and tells him that "he'll be sleeping on the ground tonight, not with her" (Basically treating him like a dog). She even went as far as threatening to hit Friend.
Fast forward to the next morning...
They're driving back and GF and Sally are sitting in the back seat and Jane is in the front seat. Friend tries to make conversation and GF isn't talking much. Then GF says out loud in the car "isn't someone a chatterbox this morning." sarcastically. Everyone gets silent for a little bit and then he tries to talk again and she says "shut the fvck up". Silence again. Jane then tries talking to Friend and GF again says "I told him to shut the fvck up now" and Jane tells her that it was her talking.
They decide to stop at a burger joint for lunch and after Friend fills up the car with gas, he goes into the burger joint. GF then yells out loud in the restaurant that she doesn't want him to sit near her and he needs to get the fvck away from her. Of course everyone is staring and he sits elsewhere. He says nothing to her about this.
Fast forward to that night...
They finally get home and Jane and Sally both apologize to Friend saying he's been a good friend and that they're sorry about how GF is acting. Then when Friend and GF get home, she basically tells him that she's going back to her place tonight and that she doesn't want to hear from him again and to not call her again.
--------------------- SUMMARY/QUESTION ------------------
Now here's the part where input is needed for Friend. I've tried to explain to him that basically the way she treats him is how someone treats a dog they hate. I've told him there's no explanation, reason, or justification for all the name calling and that she is wrong. The problem is, Friend still wants to be friends with GF :shocked: I've tried to explain to him he should not call her and should cut off all contact even if she comes crawling back (which she will because she'll realize what she has lost) but he still wants to contact her. He does not believe that she needs to at least apologize for what she's said to him or her actions. I could not get him to understand why she owes a few apologies at the very least. I tried to ask why he would want to be friends with someone who treats him like a dog and called him and his children "retarded."
I guess the question here is is there anything I can tell friend or suggest to him? He is one of my oldest friends and we all hate to see him being used over and over by GF. Any idea why he doesn't hold GF accountable for her actions/words. Even Friend has told me he doesn't understand why he doesn't feel that she should be held accountable. I was thinking maybe putting all this in writing and letting him read it might help.
Thanks for reading my "rant"
If you have any questions or need anything clarified, feel free to ask. Have at it!
EDIT1:
Ok he wants me to provide this information. I didn't want to but to be fair to him, I will.
When we were in college, our group would always head out to wingstop almost every other night and hang out for an hour or so at least just eating and chilling. Those were some great times.
He tells me that when he used to hang out with GF, Sally, and Jane, the fun he would have was at least 10 times more than our wingstop days. He says he really misses her friendship.
I told him once he crossed the line from friendship to BF/GF, there really is no going back to that. It's not like a switch you can simply turn off.
EDIT2:
My friend wanted me to add that she got down to about 175 pounds or so. Her eating habits have improved somewhat but they're still not that great. And she still gets drunk all the time. On top of this, she was paranoid all the time that he would cheat on her. And periodically she would get her two friends and get drunk and goto male strip clubs.
Also according to Friend, GF admitted to have slept with over 48 guys. But when asked, GF tells people only 7 because they actually meant something to her.
EDIT3:
Ok I talked to my friend today and he said that he's going to answer the phone whenever she calls :/
He says he wants to talk to her and try to understand why she dumped him. Basically he just wants to talk to her again. I asked him, after reading this thread and talking to almost a dozen different people about this girl, how many of them suggested that he call her or talk to her again. His answer of course was ZERO.
I just don't understand how anyone would want to be friends with someone who thinks they're a "retard" and treats them like a dog.
And yes she still thinks he's a "retard" since she has not apologized for that comment to this day.
On a side note, he did this before when I dumped my last ex. The main reason I dumped her was because she, her brother, and her friends were always bad mouthing my friend. They would make fun of him behind his back and make racist remarks about him. Of course, that sh!t doesn't fly with me (bros before hoes always). Sadly, even to this day he tries to remain friends with those animals.
EDIT4:
Well I haven't heard from my friend all weekend. So that means either one of two things.
A) He went out with some of our friends to party/get drunk/etc (good stuff)
B) He called her or answered her phone call and as a result, is not answering his phone (very bad stuff)
You know which way I'm fearing
Some of Friend's coworkers have told me that he practically stopped working last week and all he was doing was talking about GF. Then they told me that he didn't say much about it on Friday so you can kind of guess what happend :/
EDIT5:
Well it's confirmed. Turned out he did talk to her And he's basically taken her back. She told him that she didn't think she did anything wrong when she was screaming at him to "get the fvck away from me" while in public.
*bangs his head on the wall
I talked to him for almost an hour yesterday and told him that:
1) Know this, any relationship you have from this point while you're still with GF will FAIL. They will not succeed. She will sabotage them.
He told me his goal is to start a family by mid 30s. I told him he's basically wasting his precious time on this trash of a girl. When I hung up, I at least had him asking why she didn't apologize to him at the very least. I told him he should ask her why she didn't and see what her response will be. That'll tell him a lot about her character.
One last thing he said to me was that even he used his whole life trying to "fix" GF, he would not consider it a waste of a life. This is from a person who believes in statistics and reads hundreds of articles about dating and relationships.
I told him that she basically sees him as her personal wallet. Conviniently, she needed help moving this last weekend so that's probably why she called him. Here's to another 10 grand in the hole :beer::beer:
I believe the correct term for this girl is "succubus"
The drama continues!
EDIT6: January 20, 2006
Well I don't have time right now to update this but I will tomorrow. Basically he's still with the girl and she still treats him like crap. They broke up 2 more times (Well technically she dumped him 2 more times) and then he called her back asking to make it work.
More tomorrow
Ok well here's a few updates:
BTW I don't know all of the details because he doesn't tell me everything
It seems like all she's been talking about lately is wanting kids and getting married. Of course, my friend says he's not ready for that because he can't decide if she's the one. But he never tells her.
So Christmas rolls around and she's back home and calls him up and they go through the usual. The marriage/kids thing comes up and this time, he said he actually told her that he doesn't know if she's the one for him. This of course pisses her off and she starts yelling at him. He then tells her (according to him) all the things she does that he does not like (the abuse, etc) After some more screaming, she keeps saying "You know this is your fault, right" over and over. Of course he didn't take the bait (good for him!). A few weeks back, he had bought a plane ticket to her hometown and they were going to drive back together. So she starts telling him that she does not want him to come (more money wasted).
So she continues to scream profanities at him and they finally hang up (I'm thinking finally he broke it off). She then calls him back few minutes later sobbing and he unfortunately crumbles() and tells her that don't worry, go to sleep. We're not broken up and we'll talk about it next week when I come to visit. (NOOOOOOOO!!!!)
He tells me that he's gotten to the point where he's not going to tolerate her crap anymore ( I can only wish). He said if she does any of the things she's done in the past, then he's going to say, thats it ( again I can only wish ).
One other thing he told me is that he suspects her of cheating on him. She's constantly talking to her ex-bf all the time and when she was gone for christmas, he got the feeling that she was fooling around on him. Of course I told him that I think she's been cheating on him all along. He tells me that it's ok if she talks to her ex-bf because he doesn't want to be controlling and wants her to be happy. I let him know that I disagree. There are some things that are just not right when you're in a relationship.
All in all, I told him that bottom line, he has the right to be selfish. That it is his life and no one else is gonna look out for him (Except me :laugh
The drama continues!
EDIT6: April 03, 2006
Well theres some more. The beast has been pressuring him to marry her repeatedly for quite some time. The cycle continues as far as she treating him like crap and him taking it. But slowly he started coming around.
So he tells me ~ 2 weeks ago. that she came called him up and told him that she wants to move back home to live with her mom and she asked him to quit his job and move with her. Of course he said he can't. Then she bluntly asked him if he will marry her and he just kept repeating "At this moment, I can't say that I will" or something to that effect. So she basically tells him that it's over blah blah (8th time from our count) and so on and so forth.
He tells me that he's 99.9% sure that he's not going to marry her. I'm like and wtf. How the hell can it not be 100000000000000% sure. Anyways, he keeps going on that he still wants to be friends with her. I just told him that being friends with someone who tells you that they don't have to have children with him because they'll be retarded like him is stupid. etc etc.
So last to last weekend, I call him up on friday night and lo and behold, who picks up the phone. THATS RIGHT!! IT'S THE BEAST!@?!@
[*]She says "hey dabuddha (not my real name)"
[*]I reply "Uhhhh hi" ( I wasn't sure who picked up the phone ).
[*]She replies "How are you doing"
[*]I reply "Uhhhhh fine" (Still trying to figure out who it is but it's starting to dawn on me
[*]She replies "So what are you and your wife doing tonight"
[*]I reply "Uhhhh nothing" (at this point I've figured it out and start getting pissed. I really wanted to tell her How the fvck is it any of her business but I didn't out of respect for my friend. I told my wife what happened and she starts saying out loud "Why the fvck is she picking up the phone" which just made me :laugh: )
[*]She replies "So you want to talk to friend"
[*]I replay "Uhhhhh yeah" ( Why else the fvck would I be calling his cell phone.
So then the beast gives the phone to my friend and he tries to talk about everything but the beast. I'm just trying to get off the phone at this point but he won't hang up. Then I tell him to have a nice night with the beast.
Later that week he tells me that he owes me an explanation. That's when he told me about the breaking up conversation the weekend before (where she asked him to move) and he said that they bought tickets to a comedian about a month back and so they still went. etc etc
He told me that he went home with her and she just climbed into his bed and went to sleep. So he went to sleep beside her on top of the covers. I tried to explain to him that if you really wanted to be friends, DONT SLEEP IN THE SAME BED. So he says he's lying there beside her and her hair is disheveled, she stinks, her breath stinks and he said he realized that he can't stand her.
In the morning, he wakes up and tells her lets go out to eat but her dog peed on her pants so she has no clothes to wear. So she just says "screw it, I'm going back home (not to her mom's place but her own craptastic nasty apartment"
EDIT6: April 25, 2006
Apparently he claims he finally broke it off with her. He says he hasn't talked to her in over 3 weeks and that he hasn't answered her calls. If this is true, I'm very happy for him because the beast was just bad for him. :thumbsup:
Now for the :thumbsdown:
He's been talking to these two girls that he meet through one of those online dating sites. He hasn't met them yet but he has dates with them. For the first one, she has a personality that is similar to the beasts She's not mean or bad to him (yet) but she is extremely competitive. She's almost 27 or so and claims that she isn't with anyone because no one has met her standards (I read it as she's been dumped so many times cause they got tired of her crap) From what little I've heard about her, I get the feeling that she's one of those people that has to always one up you.
So the :thumbsdown: part is the fact that she mentioned that she has to do some Excel spreadsheet totalling every month for her job and my friend volunteered to fix up a spreadsheet to do it automatically. He's only talked to her on the phone 2-3 times and hasn't even met her and he's already doing her work for her He's spent the last 2 days at work ignoring his own work and working on this spreadsheet. The way he talks about her is quite scary too because I've seen him talk about the beast the exact same way in the beginning.
I told him he needs to stop going all crazy the first time he meets a girl and just take it slow. I really really hope this one doesn't turn out to be the same as the beast because he deserves better but it's already headed on the wrong path :/
I'll update as time progresses. Here's hoping for the best :beer::beer:
[/u]The drama continues![/u]
Friend: male who loves outdoor activity and stays fit. Does not drink much and wants a woman who loves outdoor activity as well.
GF: female who weighs at least 200 pounds who does not like physical activity. Drinks a lot.
Jane: female friend of GF
Sally: other female friend of GF
Friend finally met his first girlfriend (GF) back in November 2004. He met her through yahoo personals. They met up and it seemed to be ok at first. She has a drinking problem (drinks too much) and would always get belligerent towards him when she's drunk. One time she called him and left him a message telling to fvck off and she doesn't want to hear from him again (apparently he wasn't moving fast enough for him. This is about 1 month after meeting each other in person.)
Now my friend calls her back and tries to find out what's up. She does not apologize for what she said at all. So they get back together. Her "explanation" for her behavior is that she's been treated poorly by other guys in the past. Throughout this whole time, he's always trying to get her to work out or go jogging with him and she tries it once or twice but doesn't like it and complains the whole time. GF also has a habit of being dismissive of him (meaning whenever they argue and Friend tries to say something, she'll just wave her hand and say "Whatever" and not listen to him)
Friend's complaints about GF:
She's overweight
She's disgusting (her apartment has dirty clothes everywhere and trash all over)
She's dismissive of him (see above)
She has a kitten and a puppy that live with her and they pee and poop everywhere. When she moved in with my friend, the dog would pee on their bed while they're sleeping and the cat would spray everywhere. She doesn't have a problem with this)
--------------INTERMISSION-------------------
Fast forward to last month or so:
She's a teacher so she has the summer off so she moves in with him (she lives about 3 hours away). He works all day and when he comes home, the place is basically a pig sty (just like her apartment) and she just sits home and watches TV all day (Jerry Springer is one of her favorite shows). He says nothing to her about it. She starts bitching at him because he starts cleaning up the place when he gets home. She says he's some "OCD" freak. Thanks to her, his apartment is becoming nasty now. There was cat urine/smell everywhere and the litter box was not being changed at all. The dog would pee everywhere. Friend tried to not let it get out of control though. Hence, he was always picking up after her.
She starts bitching about his studying all the time (he's currently working on his master's degree) This drama is stressing Friend and he scores a 77 on an exam. So GF tells him that she doesn't think he's really studying and if he has been, he's a "retard." GF also tells him that she doesn't want to have his children because they'll be "retards" like him. He says nothing to her about this.
Fast forward to a few days later (I think it was a few days later or a week or so) and she calls him at work and tells him that she's breaking up with him. GF tells Friend not to come home (his home btw) and that she's going to leave that evening. Of course after being convinced that he needs to go home, he goes home. So she yells at him as usual and calls him names and tells him that she has been doing all the work in the relationship and he hasn't been doing anything (Which is of course a lie). He then walked off because she was leaving and when he came back, she was still there. She tells him she changed her mind and just goes inside. (Nothing gets resolved).
---------------INTERMISSION 2-------------------
One thing I forgot to mention is how much was spent in this relationship. He estimated around 8-9 thousand dollars in a period of 6 months. He would basically pay for everything including a 7 day cruise.
Back to the story...
After this happened they had previously planned a trip to another city down south. It was Friend, GF, Jane, and Sally. So they all go down to the city (5 hours away) and GF is basically being her bitchy self. She keeps playing these stupid games where she gets upset because Friend offered to help Jane with her bags because she had too many.
They go out to a bar that night and Friend just has a single beer while Jane and GF are drinking it up as usual. The total comes out to about $100 and Friend gives his credit card. Jane then says no let me help you with that and Friend calls the bartender back. GF gives Friend about $40.00 but Jane is unable to find any cash on her. So Friend gives the $40 and his credit card to the bartender and tells him to charge the rest to his card. Of course, GF gets upset about this and tells him he should not have taken her money if Friend did not take any money from Jane.
Later that night, they go back home and GF is pissed off and goes off by herself from the hotel room. Friend refuses to let her go by herself since she's drunk and it's about 3AM. She proceeds to tell him "Stay the fvck away from me!" and tells him that "he'll be sleeping on the ground tonight, not with her" (Basically treating him like a dog). She even went as far as threatening to hit Friend.
Fast forward to the next morning...
They're driving back and GF and Sally are sitting in the back seat and Jane is in the front seat. Friend tries to make conversation and GF isn't talking much. Then GF says out loud in the car "isn't someone a chatterbox this morning." sarcastically. Everyone gets silent for a little bit and then he tries to talk again and she says "shut the fvck up". Silence again. Jane then tries talking to Friend and GF again says "I told him to shut the fvck up now" and Jane tells her that it was her talking.
They decide to stop at a burger joint for lunch and after Friend fills up the car with gas, he goes into the burger joint. GF then yells out loud in the restaurant that she doesn't want him to sit near her and he needs to get the fvck away from her. Of course everyone is staring and he sits elsewhere. He says nothing to her about this.
Fast forward to that night...
They finally get home and Jane and Sally both apologize to Friend saying he's been a good friend and that they're sorry about how GF is acting. Then when Friend and GF get home, she basically tells him that she's going back to her place tonight and that she doesn't want to hear from him again and to not call her again.
--------------------- SUMMARY/QUESTION ------------------
Now here's the part where input is needed for Friend. I've tried to explain to him that basically the way she treats him is how someone treats a dog they hate. I've told him there's no explanation, reason, or justification for all the name calling and that she is wrong. The problem is, Friend still wants to be friends with GF :shocked: I've tried to explain to him he should not call her and should cut off all contact even if she comes crawling back (which she will because she'll realize what she has lost) but he still wants to contact her. He does not believe that she needs to at least apologize for what she's said to him or her actions. I could not get him to understand why she owes a few apologies at the very least. I tried to ask why he would want to be friends with someone who treats him like a dog and called him and his children "retarded."
I guess the question here is is there anything I can tell friend or suggest to him? He is one of my oldest friends and we all hate to see him being used over and over by GF. Any idea why he doesn't hold GF accountable for her actions/words. Even Friend has told me he doesn't understand why he doesn't feel that she should be held accountable. I was thinking maybe putting all this in writing and letting him read it might help.
Thanks for reading my "rant"
If you have any questions or need anything clarified, feel free to ask. Have at it!
EDIT1:
Ok he wants me to provide this information. I didn't want to but to be fair to him, I will.
When we were in college, our group would always head out to wingstop almost every other night and hang out for an hour or so at least just eating and chilling. Those were some great times.
He tells me that when he used to hang out with GF, Sally, and Jane, the fun he would have was at least 10 times more than our wingstop days. He says he really misses her friendship.
I told him once he crossed the line from friendship to BF/GF, there really is no going back to that. It's not like a switch you can simply turn off.
EDIT2:
My friend wanted me to add that she got down to about 175 pounds or so. Her eating habits have improved somewhat but they're still not that great. And she still gets drunk all the time. On top of this, she was paranoid all the time that he would cheat on her. And periodically she would get her two friends and get drunk and goto male strip clubs.
Also according to Friend, GF admitted to have slept with over 48 guys. But when asked, GF tells people only 7 because they actually meant something to her.
EDIT3:
Ok I talked to my friend today and he said that he's going to answer the phone whenever she calls :/
He says he wants to talk to her and try to understand why she dumped him. Basically he just wants to talk to her again. I asked him, after reading this thread and talking to almost a dozen different people about this girl, how many of them suggested that he call her or talk to her again. His answer of course was ZERO.
I just don't understand how anyone would want to be friends with someone who thinks they're a "retard" and treats them like a dog.
And yes she still thinks he's a "retard" since she has not apologized for that comment to this day.
On a side note, he did this before when I dumped my last ex. The main reason I dumped her was because she, her brother, and her friends were always bad mouthing my friend. They would make fun of him behind his back and make racist remarks about him. Of course, that sh!t doesn't fly with me (bros before hoes always). Sadly, even to this day he tries to remain friends with those animals.
EDIT4:
Well I haven't heard from my friend all weekend. So that means either one of two things.
A) He went out with some of our friends to party/get drunk/etc (good stuff)
B) He called her or answered her phone call and as a result, is not answering his phone (very bad stuff)
You know which way I'm fearing
Some of Friend's coworkers have told me that he practically stopped working last week and all he was doing was talking about GF. Then they told me that he didn't say much about it on Friday so you can kind of guess what happend :/
EDIT5:
Well it's confirmed. Turned out he did talk to her
And he's basically taken her back. She told him that she didn't think she did anything wrong when she was screaming at him to "get the fvck away from me" while in public. *bangs his head on the wall
I talked to him for almost an hour yesterday and told him that:
1) Know this, any relationship you have from this point while you're still with GF will FAIL. They will not succeed. She will sabotage them.
He told me his goal is to start a family by mid 30s. I told him he's basically wasting his precious time on this trash of a girl. When I hung up, I at least had him asking why she didn't apologize to him at the very least. I told him he should ask her why she didn't and see what her response will be. That'll tell him a lot about her character.
One last thing he said to me was that even he used his whole life trying to "fix" GF, he would not consider it a waste of a life. This is from a person who believes in statistics and reads hundreds of articles about dating and relationships.
I told him that she basically sees him as her personal wallet. Conviniently, she needed help moving this last weekend so that's probably why she called him. Here's to another 10 grand in the hole :beer:
:beer:I believe the correct term for this girl is "succubus"
The drama continues!
EDIT6: January 20, 2006
Well I don't have time right now to update this but I will tomorrow. Basically he's still with the girl and she still treats him like crap. They broke up 2 more times (Well technically she dumped him 2 more times) and then he called her back asking to make it work.
More tomorrow
Ok well here's a few updates:
BTW I don't know all of the details because he doesn't tell me everything
It seems like all she's been talking about lately is wanting kids and getting married. Of course, my friend says he's not ready for that because he can't decide if she's the one. But he never tells her.
So Christmas rolls around and she's back home and calls him up and they go through the usual. The marriage/kids thing comes up and this time, he said he actually told her that he doesn't know if she's the one for him. This of course pisses her off and she starts yelling at him. He then tells her (according to him) all the things she does that he does not like (the abuse, etc) After some more screaming, she keeps saying "You know this is your fault, right" over and over. Of course he didn't take the bait (good for him!). A few weeks back, he had bought a plane ticket to her hometown and they were going to drive back together. So she starts telling him that she does not want him to come (more money wasted).
So she continues to scream profanities at him and they finally hang up (I'm thinking finally he broke it off). She then calls him back few minutes later sobbing and he unfortunately crumbles
() and tells her that don't worry, go to sleep. We're not broken up and we'll talk about it next week when I come to visit. (NOOOOOOOO!!!!)He tells me that he's gotten to the point where he's not going to tolerate her crap anymore ( I can only wish). He said if she does any of the things she's done in the past, then he's going to say, thats it ( again I can only wish ).
One other thing he told me is that he suspects her of cheating on him. She's constantly talking to her ex-bf all the time and when she was gone for christmas, he got the feeling that she was fooling around on him. Of course I told him that I think she's been cheating on him all along. He tells me that it's ok if she talks to her ex-bf because he doesn't want to be controlling and wants her to be happy. I let him know that I disagree. There are some things that are just not right when you're in a relationship.
All in all, I told him that bottom line, he has the right to be selfish. That it is his life and no one else is gonna look out for him (Except me :laugh
The drama continues!
EDIT6: April 03, 2006
Well theres some more. The beast has been pressuring him to marry her repeatedly for quite some time. The cycle continues as far as she treating him like crap and him taking it. But slowly he started coming around.
So he tells me ~ 2 weeks ago. that she came called him up and told him that she wants to move back home to live with her mom and she asked him to quit his job and move with her. Of course he said he can't. Then she bluntly asked him if he will marry her and he just kept repeating "At this moment, I can't say that I will" or something to that effect. So she basically tells him that it's over blah blah (8th time from our count) and so on and so forth.
He tells me that he's 99.9% sure that he's not going to marry her. I'm like
and wtf. How the hell can it not be 100000000000000% sure. Anyways, he keeps going on that he still wants to be friends with her. I just told him that being friends with someone who tells you that they don't have to have children with him because they'll be retarded like him is stupid. etc etc.So last to last weekend, I call him up on friday night and lo and behold, who picks up the phone. THATS RIGHT!! IT'S THE BEAST!@?!@
[*]She says "hey dabuddha (not my real name
)"[*]I reply "Uhhhh hi" ( I wasn't sure who picked up the phone ).
[*]She replies "How are you doing"
[*]I reply "Uhhhhh fine" (Still trying to figure out who it is but it's starting to dawn on me
[*]She replies "So what are you and your wife doing tonight"
[*]I reply "Uhhhh nothing" (at this point I've figured it out and start getting pissed. I really wanted to tell her How the fvck is it any of her business but I didn't out of respect for my friend. I told my wife what happened and she starts saying out loud "Why the fvck is she picking up the phone" which just made me :laugh: )
[*]She replies "So you want to talk to friend"
[*]I replay "Uhhhhh yeah" ( Why else the fvck would I be calling his cell phone.
So then the beast gives the phone to my friend and he tries to talk about everything but the beast. I'm just trying to get off the phone at this point but he won't hang up. Then I tell him to have a nice night with the beast.
Later that week he tells me that he owes me an explanation. That's when he told me about the breaking up conversation the weekend before (where she asked him to move) and he said that they bought tickets to a comedian about a month back and so they still went. etc etc
He told me that he went home with her and she just climbed into his bed and went to sleep. So he went to sleep beside her on top of the covers. I tried to explain to him that if you really wanted to be friends, DONT SLEEP IN THE SAME BED. So he says he's lying there beside her and her hair is disheveled, she stinks, her breath stinks and he said he realized that he can't stand her.
In the morning, he wakes up and tells her lets go out to eat but her dog peed on her pants so she has no clothes to wear. So she just says "screw it, I'm going back home (not to her mom's place but her own craptastic nasty apartment"
EDIT6: April 25, 2006
Apparently he claims he finally broke it off with her. He says he hasn't talked to her in over 3 weeks and that he hasn't answered her calls. If this is true, I'm very happy for him because the beast was just bad for him. :thumbsup:
Now for the :thumbsdown:
He's been talking to these two girls that he meet through one of those online dating sites. He hasn't met them yet but he has dates with them. For the first one, she has a personality that is similar to the beasts
She's not mean or bad to him (yet) but she is extremely competitive. She's almost 27 or so and claims that she isn't with anyone because no one has met her standards (I read it as she's been dumped so many times cause they got tired of her crap) From what little I've heard about her, I get the feeling that she's one of those people that has to always one up you.So the :thumbsdown: part is the fact that she mentioned that she has to do some Excel spreadsheet totalling every month for her job and my friend volunteered to fix up a spreadsheet to do it automatically. He's only talked to her on the phone 2-3 times and hasn't even met her and he's already doing her work for her
He's spent the last 2 days at work ignoring his own work and working on this spreadsheet. The way he talks about her is quite scary too because I've seen him talk about the beast the exact same way in the beginning.I told him he needs to stop going all crazy the first time he meets a girl and just take it slow. I really really hope this one doesn't turn out to be the same as the beast because he deserves better but it's already headed on the wrong path :/
I'll update as time progresses. Here's hoping for the best :beer:
:beer:[/u]The drama continues![/u]
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