YADT: Getting back on the horse.....

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Well its been about 6 months since my ex and I broke up after 3 years. Its weird how breaking up gets harder when you're older, especially longer term relationships.

I don't know why im posting this, I guess nervous energy or something, but im going on my "first" date after becoming single......my first date in a little over 3.5 years.

My friends say, "well you had a g/f, you went on dates all the time...." but its not the same. I feel so out of touch with dating, other than just pay for everything and open the car door for her. lol

And I'm not so much worried about how to act, I always act like myself.....its those awkward moments during a date that I forgot how to handle. For instance, when you are dropping your date off at her house at the end of the night, in my case her co-op building, do I unbuckle? shut the car off? do I park in front and jump out to let her out/walk her to the door? or how about slowing down to like 10 mph and telling her to "tuck and roll".

And dont even get me started about trying to figure out whether shes looking to date or just be friends......i dont think i ever knew how to figure that stuff out.

I dunno......at least our first "date" is cool. She likes hockey (the islanders) and has never been to a game. I can get center ice tickets to any islander game I want.......its better than dinner and a movie, no? in the end, at least i get to drink beer and watch hockey with a pretty cool chick.

This is pretty comical.......what have i become?

Cliffs:
1)broke up with ex of 3 years 6 months ago
2)have first date in 3.5 years thursday
3)I'm a wuss
4)Lets Go IS-LAN-DERS!!!!!

UPDATE

Date went great. Probably one of the best times I've had out with a girl in a long time. Nothing happened so if you wanna stop reading now, go ahead.

But surprisingly my nervousness went away within 2 minutes of picking her up. Girls love having the car door opened for them, so any youngins reading, always do this. I scored major smile points when I did it.

Game was good, she drinks beer :) Sam Adams too. But she pees too much LOL. She missed 3 of the 5 goals scored. granted two goals were scored within a minute or two in the second period. part of me thought she was calling someone each time she went, but she left her phone and her bag at her seat......guess beer just makes her go. lol

Regardless, the game wasnt that much of an issue. we talked through most of it, the seats really blew her away b.c it was her first game and we were really up close. shes definitely the perfect mix of a mans man and a girly girl. its pretty intense. nothing beats a hot chick yelling "punch him in the face" lol

So the game ends, islanders blew, and we're walking to my car. A little buzzed from the sams, but laughing about the story of how she walked into a pole, drunk, and chipped her front tooth. so im assuming we're going home b/c she gets up early, and she says "so are we going home?" and I tell her its your call. she then proceeds to take me to some coffee house I never been to and we sit down and get tea and dessert. she orders the Triple Z.....triple z meaning zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. chamomile tea. she wanted to relax b/c she was so hyped up shed never fall asleep when he got home.

well she got her wish. within 10 min of finishing it, she was yawning and just looking sleepy. so we leave, even though she didnt want to. we get in the car. so i'm driving her home and we're talking, but I can tell she's just wiped. so I lean over, recline the seat and give her my sweatshirt as a pillow and say goodnight. she dozes off for a little and then we get to her place.

I nudge her, she wakes up. apologizes for sleeping etc etc. thanks me, said she had a great time and hopes to go again sometime. nice kiss on the cheek and a hug and tells me to text her when im home safe.

and thats it.

so this is where im at. i'm pretty much at peace with it all. I showed her the best time I can, so the balls in her court. i'll see her at the bar (work) saturday night. so we'll see what happens.

 

UnatcoAgent

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 1999
5,462
1
0
I was watching a couple the other day from where I was sitting, having dinner with my girlfriend. They were obviously on their first blind date, announced by the guy awkwardly saying "you.. you're very gorgeous" when they sat down.

Just be yourself. Don't overthink this stuff, chances are the girl is just as bent out of shape as you're going to be about it. If you act cool about it, it should go smoothly, if she's not acting cool about it, it's her problem.

Think, NORMAL.

Goodluck!
 

yllus

Elite Member & Lifer
Aug 20, 2000
20,577
432
126
Sounds like a good first date - it's a little chilly in there so you can get close with justification, and that never hurts. The Islanders though? :p

I think you'll do yourself a disservice if you try to plan small things out in advance. Just strike a nice lighthearted tone early on and things will be good, even if you do trip and fall on your face in front of her.
 

Garet Jax

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2000
6,369
0
71
You can get center ice for the Islanders whenever you want - you own them or something?
 

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Originally posted by: yllus
Sounds like a good first date - it's a little chilly in there so you can get close with justification, and that never hurts. The Islanders though? :p

I think you'll do yourself a disservice if you try to plan small things out in advance. Just strike a nice lighthearted tone early on and things will be good, even if you do trip and fall on your face in front of her.

hey now, we're only a point out of first place..........

i think the problem i have is wondering what shes thinking. we've known each other for a few months, 3 to be exact. never "went out" alone, just when we work together on saturday nights.

oh and did i mention one night i slept at her place on her couch when we both got drunk at work? and she continually reminds me that i can sleepover whenever i want.......

I think the root of my problems are her mixed signals.......and me growing the balls to just ask.
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,389
1,778
126
To be honest, the more you think about this stuff the worse off you'll be. Just go on the date and see where things lead. Don't put a lot of thought into opening doors or whether or not you kiss her when you say goodnight. Just go on the date, see where things lead, and enjoy it.

If you get a second date, good....if not, maybe that's good too. No need in wasting time dating someone when they aren't totally into you. Trust me man, it'll be ok. Just enjoy the date yourself and enjoy the company. Women are very perceptive. If you act nervous or too cocky, they pick up on it and may get a bad perception of you...so just relax, be yourself, and leave it at that.
 

Garet Jax

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2000
6,369
0
71
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: yllus
Sounds like a good first date - it's a little chilly in there so you can get close with justification, and that never hurts. The Islanders though? :p

I think you'll do yourself a disservice if you try to plan small things out in advance. Just strike a nice lighthearted tone early on and things will be good, even if you do trip and fall on your face in front of her.

hey now, we're only a point out of first place..........

i think the problem i have is wondering what shes thinking. we've known each other for a few months, 3 to be exact. never "went out" alone, just when we work together on saturday nights.

oh and did i mention one night i slept at her place on her couch when we both got drunk at work? and she continually reminds me that i can sleepover whenever i want.......

I think the root of my problems are her mixed signals.......and me growing the balls to just ask.

Don't ask - it makes it too easy to say no. Girls don't always know what they want themselves. Sometimes you just have to show them what they want.

PS - The Isles are going to have a tough time keeping their spot with Yashin's injury.
 

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
You can get center ice for the Islanders whenever you want - you own them or something?

i have a few family members with season tickets and they usually give them away. They just keep getting them b/c my grandparents were season ticket holders from their first season, 1972, till my grandfather passed away in 1992. they are keeping the tradition.

one day. if i ever find it, i'll scan a picture of me when i was a year old sitting in the stanley cup at my grandfathers house. he was good friends with Bill Torrey

plus one of my clients at work is a sports memoribilia company here in NY.....so i have some "connections" that way too.
 

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Originally posted by: Garet Jax


PS - The Isles are going to have a tough time keeping their spot with Yashin's injury.

Very true......but you gotta have faith.
 

fLum0x

Golden Member
Jun 4, 2004
1,660
0
0
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
You can get center ice for the Islanders whenever you want - you own them or something?

holy hell, you are still bragging about ATOT wins from 2002-03? sad...really
 

jman19

Lifer
Nov 3, 2000
11,221
654
126
Originally posted by: UDT89
Well its been about 6 months since my ex and I broke up after 3 years. Its weird how breaking up gets harder when you're older, especially longer term relationships.

I don't know why im posting this, I guess nervous energy or something, but im going on my "first" date after becoming single......my first date in a little over 3.5 years.

My friends say, "well you had a g/f, you went on dates all the time...." but its not the same. I feel so out of touch with dating, other than just pay for everything and open the car door for her. lol

And I'm not so much worried about how to act, I always act like myself.....its those awkward moments during a date that I forgot how to handle. For instance, when you are dropping your date off at her house at the end of the night, in my case her co-op building, do I unbuckle? shut the car off? do I park in front and jump out to let her out/walk her to the door? or how about slowing down to like 10 mph and telling her to "tuck and roll".

And dont even get me started about trying to figure out whether shes looking to date or just be friends......i dont think i ever knew how to figure that stuff out.

I dunno......at least our first "date" is cool. She likes hockey (the islanders) and has never been to a game. I can get center ice tickets to any islander game I want.......its better than dinner and a movie, no? in the end, at least i get to drink beer and watch hockey with a pretty cool chick.

This is pretty comical.......what have i become?

Cliffs:
1)broke up with ex of 3 years 6 months ago
2)have first date in 3.5 years thursday
3)I'm a wuss
4)Lets Go IS-LAN-DERS!!!!!

POTVIN SUCKS :D

Hehe, but seriously, good luck with the date.
 

imported_goku

Diamond Member
Mar 28, 2004
7,613
3
0
Instead of getting back onto the house, have you tried something you're more capable of handling? like a donkey or mule?
 

jiggahertz

Golden Member
Apr 7, 2005
1,532
0
76
Originally posted by: UDT89

And I'm not so much worried about how to act, I always act like myself.....its those awkward moments during a date that I forgot how to handle. For instance, when you are dropping your date off at her house at the end of the night, in my case her co-op building, do I unbuckle? shut the car off? do I park in front and jump out to let her out/walk her to the door? or how about slowing down to like 10 mph and telling her to "tuck and roll".

When I first read this I thought you were referring to your pants. I was thinking "Well, at least he's confident".
 

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Originally posted by: jiggahertz
Originally posted by: UDT89

And I'm not so much worried about how to act, I always act like myself.....its those awkward moments during a date that I forgot how to handle. For instance, when you are dropping your date off at her house at the end of the night, in my case her co-op building, do I unbuckle? shut the car off? do I park in front and jump out to let her out/walk her to the door? or how about slowing down to like 10 mph and telling her to "tuck and roll".

When I first read this I thought you were referring to your pants. I was thinking "Well, at least he's confident".

hahahaha. thanks for the good laugh :)

and thanks all for the awesome responses, i love atot.

 

Triforceofcourage

Platinum Member
Feb 21, 2004
2,911
0
71
Just act completely aloof, like you don't care one way or the other how things turn out. Tease her, girls love that. She will be playfully hitting you in no time. Then your in. (no pun intended :) )
 

Rumpltzer

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2003
4,815
33
91
Hi UDT89. I'm glad your date went well.

I feel your pain over losing your ex and trying to get out there again.

Be cool. Don't over-analyze things (I'm talking about your comment on her going to the bathroom and the phone). Let it happen if it happens, and don't go nuts if it doesn't. Not every girl is going to be "the one" but maybe you picked a winner. Give it some time and find out.

Good luck.
 

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Originally posted by: Rumpltzer
Hi UDT89. I'm glad your date went well.

I feel your pain over losing your ex and trying to get out there again.

Be cool. Don't over-analyze things (I'm talking about your comment on her going to the bathroom and the phone). Let it happen if it happens, and don't go nuts if it doesn't. Not every girl is going to be "the one" but maybe you picked a winner. Give it some time and find out.

Good luck.

Thanks rump. i appreciate the kind words and encouragement.

Its the finding out part that has me stumbling. b/c i mean at some point you have to just ask......and i hate being forward.
 

DougK62

Diamond Member
Mar 28, 2001
8,035
6
81
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: Rumpltzer
Hi UDT89. I'm glad your date went well.

I feel your pain over losing your ex and trying to get out there again.

Be cool. Don't over-analyze things (I'm talking about your comment on her going to the bathroom and the phone). Let it happen if it happens, and don't go nuts if it doesn't. Not every girl is going to be "the one" but maybe you picked a winner. Give it some time and find out.

Good luck.

Thanks rump. i appreciate the kind words and encouragement.

Its the finding out part that has me stumbling. b/c i mean at some point you have to just ask......and i hate being forward.

Why do you have to ask? You'll know by her actions. It's obvious.

 

UDT89

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2001
4,529
0
76
Originally posted by: DougK62
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: Rumpltzer
Hi UDT89. I'm glad your date went well.

I feel your pain over losing your ex and trying to get out there again.

Be cool. Don't over-analyze things (I'm talking about your comment on her going to the bathroom and the phone). Let it happen if it happens, and don't go nuts if it doesn't. Not every girl is going to be "the one" but maybe you picked a winner. Give it some time and find out.

Good luck.

Thanks rump. i appreciate the kind words and encouragement.

Its the finding out part that has me stumbling. b/c i mean at some point you have to just ask......and i hate being forward.

Why do you have to ask? You'll know by her actions. It's obvious.

yea thats the problem......part of me thinks its obvious theres something there, but then part of me its just her being friendly.

ah whatever.