YACT: A Conversation with a Parts Monkey


Jan 10, 2001
A conversation a guy I know posted about his latest trip to Autozone. 4bangler is the name of his Jeep, BTW. ;)

4Bangler: "I need two AIMCO #5492 Hub and Rotor assemblies"

Parts Monkey: "What type of vehicle"

4Bangler: "It's the large box on the third shelf, I can see it right there, you have two in stock (pointing)"

Parts Monkey: "What year"

4Bangler, hanging head in disgust: "'77 Ford, F-150, 4wd, 2bbl 351M V8, automatic, power steering, power brakes, no A/C"

Parts Monkey: "77?"

4Bangler: "Yes"

Parts Monkey: "Ford Truck?"

4Bangler: "uh-huh"

Parts Monkey: "F-250?"

4Bangler, laying head on counter: "F-150"

Parts Monkey: "2-wheel or 4-wheel?"

4Bangler, banging head on counter: "4 wheel drive"

Parts Monkey: "front or rear rotor?"

4Bangler: "Front hub and rotor assembly, AIMCO #5492, third line down"

Parts Monkey: "Locking hub?"

4Bangler: "NO! HUB AND ROTOR ASSEMBLY, RIGHT HERE" (grabbing monitor and turning it while pointing at the screen)

Parts Monkey: "Oh, with splined drive hub?"

4Bangler, laying on floor, covering face: "No, the line under that one, F5"

Parts Monkey: "We show two in stock, you wanted one?"

4Bangler: "No, two."

Parts Monkey: "Okay, let me get them"

4Bangler: "There in the next isle to your right"

Parts Monkey: "yeah"

4Bangler: "Your other right"

Parts Monkey: "yeah"

4Bangler: "a little farther down"

4Bangler: "a little more"

4Bangler: "too far"

4Bangler: "look up"

4Bangler: "right there"

Parts Monkey: "okay"

Parts Monkey: "there you go, anything else for you today"

4Bangler: "yes, I need TWO of them"

Parts Monkey: "oh, okay"

Parts Monkey: "will that be all today?"

4Bangler: "yes"

Parts Monkey: "phone number"

4Bangler: "989-555-5555"

Parts Monkey: "huh?"

4Bangler: "area code 989....555-5555"

Parts Monkey: "oh"

Parts Monkey: "John Doe?"

4Bangler: "Yup, that's me"

Parts Monkey: "What type of vehicle?"

4Bangler: "huh? why?"

Parts Monkey: "Warranty"

4Bangler, smiling: "'95 Jeep Wrangler"

Parts Monkey: "uh..."

4Bangler: "Never mind, '77 Ford F-150"

Parts Monkey: "That comes to $84.79"

Parts Monkey: "Out of $100?"

4Bangler: "no, wait, I've got some change (handing Monkey $0.80)

Parts Monkey: "Okay, $25.00 is your change"

4Bangler: "Fifteen"

Parts Monkey: "huh"

4Bangler: "Fifteen dollars is my change"

Parts Monkey: "uh...hey Karl, how do I void this transaction?"

Karl (shouting from the back): "F5"

Parts Monkey: "phone number?"

4Bangler, slapping $5 on the counter and taking $20 bill off counter: "989-358....oh whatever, you're an idiot" (turning and walking out the door)

Parts Monkey: "sir...you forgot your change....sir...sir?"

4Bangler, as the door shuts behind him: "Keep it......a tip for your fine service"


vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
For sh!t's & giggles, you should go back in and ask him what an OBDCII error code P82185 on that same truck means. And if he could reset it for you.


Diamond Member
Sep 9, 2003
I used to work at a parts counter. First rule - never underestimate the stupidity of the public. You would be very surprised how many people do exactly that - come in, say "I need this exact part" and bring it back the next day, saying it's the wrong one, and of course blaming the counter person for selling them the wrong thing, which made us look bad. To be fair, some were going on bad information given to them by a mechanic or friend, etc. Many people who come in don't know what kind of car they drive, what year it is, or even who made it, let alone the engine size/type - but yet they expect us to magically know exactly what they need to get to fix it. So, we have to ask what the vehicle is to cross check the part they request in the computer to make sure it is in fact correct.

I used to hate the people who got all pissed off because of that. How hard is it to feed the vehicle information to the "parts monkey" so that he can make sure you get the right thing? What does that take, a minute? two minutes? Funny thing is, it turns out half the time the customer was wrong and they need a different part than the one they requested. A lot of them end up leaving with egg on their face, so to speak - but at least they have the right part in their hands.

That said, that counter guy sounds like an idiot from the rest of the convo...