WTF? Want to get divorced in NC? Wait 2 years, even in cases of abuse

[NFS4]

Da fuck is wrong with these Republican lawmakers? They're taking NC back to the stone ages. They want to up the waiting period from one year to two years on getting a divorce. So much for less government involvement!

And there are no exceptions for domestic violence/abuse. And who's going to pay for two years of counseling, maintaing two homes, etc?

Hell, if you're gonna go buckwild on counseling AFTER a marriage fails, why not government mandate counseling BEFORE marriage to cut off any problems? SMH!

On a side note, in an odd twist, I've gotten through about 100 of the comments on WRAL's Facebook page and every single one of them are against this bill.

http://www.wral.com/senate-bill-would-make-it-harder-to-untie-knot-in-nc/12291236/

Senate Bill 518, dubbed the Healthy Marriage Act, would double the one-year waiting period before a divorce could be granted and would require husband and wife to receive conflict resolution counseling, as well as counseling if they have children. Supporters said they believe the restrictions will help cut the state's divorce rate.

"North Carolina has a very high divorce rate – one of the worst – and it's probably because we've been lax in our divorce laws. Made it too easy," said bill sponsor Sen. Austin Allran, R-Catawba.

North Carolina's divorce rate was 3.8 per 1,000 marriages in 2009, compared with the U.S. rate of 3.4 divorces, according to the most recent Census Bureau statistics. The state ranked 19th nationwide.

Tara Benson, whose divorce will be final at the end of the month, said she doesn't think another year of pain would have saved her marriage. She said she got married too young, and it simply didn't work.

"One year was definitely long enough, and it was too long in a lot of senses," Benson said. "I just think it delays the inevitable and just hurts in the process. It just draws out a process that you don't want to have to deal with."

North Carolina's one-year waiting period is already longer than most other Southeast states. Georgia and Tennessee, for example, require only a few weeks before a divorce is granted, and Florida couples can file online to have their marriages dissolved. Virginia and South Carolina require no more than a year's wait, and Alabama has no waiting period.

Allran said he also wants to scrap the mandatory separation during the waiting period and have couples remain under the same roof.

"Instead of telling people that they cannot cohabitate during that period of time because, after all, they are married, if they would be able to continue (living together)," he said.

The proposal doesn't offer any exceptions for domestic violence or abuse, but Allran said he might add that to the bill before its first hearing in committee, which could come this week.

Benson said lawmakers shouldn't try to make divorce any more difficult to endure for people trying to put a mistake behind them and get on with their lives.

"Neither one of us wanted to be in it anymore. We were both done," she said. "Let's move on with our lives. I've moved on, you moved on. We're both a lot happier now."

 

[Spungo]

Allran said he also wants to scrap the mandatory separation during the waiting period and have couples remain under the same roof.

Why would the government try to control this? Forcing people to separate or forcing them to live together is invariably going to screw someone. Not everyone can afford a mortgage and rent at the same time. Forcing people together might be forcing people to stay in an abusive environment.

 

[nehalem256]

Da fuck is wrong with these Republican lawmakers? They're taking NC back to the stone ages. They want to up the waiting period from one year to two years on getting a divorce. So much for less government involvement!

Pro-tip. If you don't want the government involved in your relationship don't get married

 

[Gonad the Barbarian]

NC already has a one year requirement, don't know if there are exceptions currently. Doubling the time to get a divorce, halving the time to vote early, the NC GOP in action.

 

[nehalem256]

But I have to say its good to see that Republicans are continuing to tackle the issue of the sanctity of marriage.

Maybe now liberals will STFU about Republicans only caring about the gays.

:biggrin:

 

[zsdersw]

But I have to say its good to see that Republicans are continuing to tackle the issue of the sanctity of marriage.

Starting, you mean.

 

[Exterous]

Why would the government try to control this? Forcing people to separate or forcing them to live together is invariably going to screw someone. Not everyone can afford a mortgage and rent at the same time. Forcing people together might be forcing people to stay in an abusive environment.

I agree. The government should have no right to tell married adults they must live together or must live apart.

Pro-tip. If you don't want the government involved in your relationship don't get married

*taps sarcasm meter*

 

[nehalem256]

Why would the government try to control this? Forcing people to separate or forcing them to live together is invariably going to screw someone. Not everyone can afford a mortgage and rent at the same time. Forcing people together might be forcing people to stay in an abusive environment.

It looks like people are criticizing the details of a "rough draft".

The proposal doesn't offer any exceptions for domestic violence or abuse, but Allran said he might add that to the bill before its first hearing in committee, which could come this week.

 

[Lithium381]

Why would the government try to control this? Forcing people to separate or forcing them to live together is invariably going to screw someone. Not everyone can afford a mortgage and rent at the same time. Forcing people together might be forcing people to stay in an abusive environment.

If this gets passed with an ABUSE clause, i can see that provisoin being.. . abused just to get out of the marriage. like a woman feeling guilty after sex and calming rape just to try and save her dignity . . .

 

[nehalem256]

If this gets passed with an ABUSE clause, i can see that provisoin being.. . abused just to get out of the marriage. like a woman feeling guilty after sex and calming rape just to try and save her dignity . . .

By far, though, the most damaging allegation—the one that can change everything in an instant—is domestic violence. That's why, Rolfe says, "there are attorneys who will advise a client to accuse the other party of domestic violence in order to gain an advantage."

The accusations may not constitute what the general public thinks of as domestic violence. "Frequently, it's not a big thing that you did, but the woman claims to be afraid," says Rolfe.

Yet commissioners—and what Bianco calls a "little cottage industry" of professionals used by the court to assess and treat domestic violence—tend to give those allegations credibility and see a man's denials as further proof of his guilt—the ultimate catch-22.

Rolfe calls herself "a very strong feminist." She believes domestic violence and male denial are big problems. Yet considering the way women can "use the system," she says, "It absolutely infuriates me."

http://www.seattleweekly.com/2012-01-18/news/ripped-apart/

It already is abused. The only question is how much more would it be abused?:hmm:

 

[NFS4]

It looks like people are criticizing the details of a "rough draft".

Even for a rough draft, leaving out something that is plain common sense is a little :whiste:

And why the need to increase the period to two years in the first place? Government, GTFO!

 

[nehalem256]

Government, GTFO!

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I wanted the government to be involved in my relationship and now I am throwing a fit because the government is involved in my relationship.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! :'(

 

[NFS4]

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I wanted the government to be involved in my relationship and now I am throwing a fit because the government is involved in my relationship.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! :'(

Says the person that doesn't give a shit about marriage in the first place. Why do you even care?

 

[Greenman]

If they had an exception for abuse then everyone filling for divorce would claim abuse. Aside from that, the two year wait isn't going to reduce divorces.

 

[nehalem256]

Says the person that doesn't give a shit about marriage in the first place. Why do you even care?

I think you have me confused with someone else.

 

[zsdersw]

Says the person that doesn't give a shit about marriage in the first place. Why do you even care?

It doesn't matter. People with his views on marriage are a dying breed that, thankfully, will in a generation or two have little or no ability to influence public policy.

 

[nehalem256]

It doesn't matter. People with his views on marriage are a dying breed that, thankfully, will in a generation or two have little or no ability to influence public policy.

You mean a view that marriage is more than a way to get government swag.

I mean look at this thread.

WAHHHH! I want the government involved in my life when they are giving me luscious government swag, but then I throw a fit when they are involved in my life in ways I don't like. WAHHHHH!

 

[zsdersw]

You mean a view that marriage is more than a way to get government swag.

No, I mean a view that resembles the fantasy that was Leave it to Beaver instead of reality.

 

[nehalem256]

No, I mean a view that resembles the fantasy that was Leave it to Beaver instead of reality.

You mean the version of marriage that existed for centuries?

As opposed to your SwagGrabage union that you are calling marriage to try and get the same benefits?

 

[zsdersw]

You mean the version of marriage that existed for centuries?

As opposed to your SwagGrabage union that you are calling marriage to try and get the same benefits?

Marriage has never been as perfect and ideal as you think it was or should be, nor has it always been about what you think it was always about.

Sorry kiddo... but history is not on your side, and the future isn't either. Deal with it.

 

[Lithium381]

Honestly . . . just get rid of all marriage benefits in the federal tax code and have it just be something from the church . . . government doens't need to know who's married

 

[PokerGuy]

What a stupid idea, hopefully it gets tossed out as a dumb idea before it gets too far into the legislative process.

 

[soulcougher73]

You mean a view that marriage is more than a way to get government swag.

I mean look at this thread.

WAHHHH! I want the government involved in my life when they are giving me luscious government swag, but then I throw a fit when they are involved in my life in ways I don't like. WAHHHHH!

Can you fill me in on this "luscious gov swag" I'm missing out on by being married? I must be doing it wrong, if anything the marriage penalty tax has been more a hamper than anything.

 

[Gonad the Barbarian]

If they had an exception for abuse then everyone filling for divorce would claim abuse. Aside from that, the two year wait isn't going to reduce divorces.

Probably will increase homicides.

 

[nehalem256]

Marriage has never been as perfect and ideal as you think it was or should be, nor has it always been about what you think it was always about.

We are not talking about marriage being perfect.

We are talking about people demanding the government be involved in their life to get luscious swag and then throwing a fit when the government imposes conditions on them.

In short you, and apparently many if not most people nowadays see "marriage" as nothing more than a narcissistic swag grab.