WTF. Self marriage and 'married privilege' is a thing now?

[Exterous]

The truth is that I still have credit card debt to pay down, and while I’ll be able to do that this year, I realized that I also needed to invest in a home, even if it’s only for the year. The importance of having a sanctuary where I could write trumped everything else

Not to mention spending $1000 on a 'self marriage' party with a registry...

After I made my “self-marriage” registry public on Amazon, a “self-marriage expert” bought me some shot glasses and said her services were available.

self marriage expert?

You know, I still have to work on my vows. I don’t believe in no matter what, because sometimes I really don’t cherish myself.

ESTER: What is “married privilege,” according to that book?
ERIKA: I think something along the lines of, “You get the presents, the bridal showers, the baby showers, we come to your weddings no matter where they are, you get the social media glory and we get silence.”

Sure - lets up your tax rate and eliminate the marriage penalty tax. Maybe we should also bring your health insurance rate up to half of what a married couple with no kids pays. Then you can see some of the fun 'privileges' we get

https://thebillfold.com/i-now-pronounce-you-wife-524504f403c4#.paxbjecaa

I think I'm drowning in a cesspool of narcissism

 

[deadlyapp]

I don't want to live on this earth anymore if this is the shit I have to deal with.

 

[Anubis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5mLjKI968g

 

[Drako]

That's an Onion article I hope. :\

 

[motsm]

The resentment in the phrase "social media glory" is what is truly glorious. What an ass Erika must be.

 

[Kaido]

 

[Newbian]

So do you have to take yourself out to a nice dinner before jacking it?

 

[Jaepheth]

It's gonna be a messy divorce
:sneaky:

 

[dave_the_nerd]

I almost think this would work as a clever parody, given how self-centered some bridezillas-to-be get once they're engaged.

They get super-entitled and whiny about gifts, get super-aggressive about the dress, respond violently to any perceived slight or lapse in the attention being lavished upon them, and just generally spend more time princessing the shit out of things, and worrying about a three hour party than they spend worrying about their supposedly-lifelong-relationship.

For all the consideration they give their soon-to-be-husbands' desires and needs, they might as well be marrying themselves.

So my money is on "delayed April Fools' joke."

 

[Kaido]

I almost think this would work as a clever parody, given how self-centered some bridezillas-to-be get once they're engaged.

They get super-entitled and whiny about gifts, get super-aggressive about the dress, respond violently to any perceived slight or lapse in the attention being lavished upon them, and just generally spend more time princessing the shit out of things, and worrying about a three hour party than they spend worrying about their supposedly-lifelong-relationship.

For all the consideration they give their soon-to-be-husbands' desires and needs, they might as well be marrying themselves.

As we've gotten older, I've offered each of my siblings the option to elope (as my wedding gift to them) rather than have an actual wedding. One by one, they've gotten married with a big wedding and later wished they had taken my offer No big debt to incur, no stress, no planning, no bridezilla, just fly out somewhere, get hitched, have a nice little vacation/honeymoon, and come back and have a little party for family & friends to celebrate. Cheaper for them, cheaper for us as a family (not to be a scrooge, haha), zero effort required. I was the first one to get engaged in my family & I would definitely have gone that route if I could go back & do it all over again :thumbsup:

 

[vi edit]

As we've gotten older, I've offered each of my siblings the option to elope (as my wedding gift to them) rather than have an actual wedding. One by one, they've gotten married with a big wedding and later wished they had taken my offer No big debt to incur, no stress, no planning, no bridezilla, just fly out somewhere, get hitched, have a nice little vacation/honeymoon, and come back and have a little party for family & friends to celebrate. Cheaper for them, cheaper for us as a family (not to be a scrooge, haha), zero effort required. I was the first one to get engaged in my family & I would definitely have gone that route if I could go back & do it all over again :thumbsup:

Yup my wife and I eloped and would do it again without question. I'll offer (if not outright encourage) my kids to do the same. Skip the circus and costs. Go have fun for a week and save money for a house down payment.

 

[Iron Woode]

wasn't there some stupid movie about this self-marriage nuttery?

I weep for humanity.

 

[stlc8tr]

Sure - lets up your tax rate and eliminate the marriage penalty tax. Maybe we should also bring your health insurance rate up to half of what a married couple with no kids pays. Then you can see some of the fun 'privileges' we get

I'm all for eliminating the marriage penalty tax as long as we get rid of the marriage bonus tax at the same time.

Heck, let's just make everyone file separate returns.

 

[Kaido]

Yup my wife and I eloped and would do it again without question. I'll offer (if not outright encourage) my kids to do the same. Skip the circus and costs. Go have fun for a week and save money for a house down payment.

A quick google says the average cost of a wedding is $31,213. Thirty grand to get stressed out, to mess up people's work & personal schedules, to have guests show up to eat food they're going to complain about regardless, to rent expensive tuxedos, etc. Even for a small-scale wedding that is say $6,000, why not invest that in something awesome like a home theater so you can start out your wedding in an epic way instead of in debt? It's not that I'm an overly-practical person, because I'm definitely not, but when's the last time you went to a wedding and was like "that was freakin' awesome!" vs. finding a place to eat more food on the way home?

 

[ElFenix]

Sure - lets up your tax rate and eliminate the marriage penalty tax. Maybe we should also bring your health insurance rate up to half of what a married couple with no kids pays. Then you can see some of the fun 'privileges' we get

https://thebillfold.com/i-now-pronounce-you-wife-524504f403c4#.paxbjecaa

I think I'm drowning in a cesspool of narcissism

the "marriage tax penalty" is mostly a tax bonus because the attempts to eliminate it have been brain dead and ended up being a tax cut.

the "marriage tax penalty" exists because the supreme court decided that, for whatever reason, congress intended the tax code to look at state property laws (community vs. otherwise) to determine who earned the money. which is retarded, because they had just decided a few months earlier than that that a california couple couldn't game the system by creating a trust and pretending the money was paid to the trust rather than the working spouse. california being a community property state.

so, instead of just proclaiming, no, the tax code only looks at who earned the income (which is a reasonable position), congress has decided to attempt "fixes" in more complicated ways.

 

[WHAMPOM]

A quick google says the average cost of a wedding is $31,213. Thirty grand to get stressed out, to mess up people's work & personal schedules, to have guests show up to eat food they're going to complain about regardless, to rent expensive tuxedos, etc. Even for a small-scale wedding that is say $6,000, why not invest that in something awesome like a home theater so you can start out your wedding in an epic way instead of in debt? It's not that I'm an overly-practical person, because I'm definitely not, but when's the last time you went to a wedding and was like "that was freakin' awesome!" vs. finding a place to eat more food on the way home?

Sounds like a good house down payment getting wasted.

 

[Captante]

So if I married Rosy Palm and her five sisters does that count as polygamy?

 

[Exterous]

the "marriage tax penalty" is mostly a tax bonus because the attempts to eliminate it have been brain dead and ended up being a tax cut.

I don't know if 'mostly' is quite true when you look at the various scenarios involved. Pretty much any household with children and close to equal pay suffers a penalty from marriage

http://taxfoundation.org/article/understanding-marriage-penalty-and-marriage-bonus

 

[ElFenix]

Close to equal pay is the big 'if'.

 

[TheGardener]

To go with that self marriage, there will be an engagement party and then the bachelor party. More opportunities to amass gifts from your relatives and friends.

 

[Blackjack200]

Yup my wife and I eloped and would do it again without question. I'll offer (if not outright encourage) my kids to do the same. Skip the circus and costs. Go have fun for a week and save money for a house down payment.

I don't think you need to elope to have a reasonable size wedding with reasonable costs. There are a lot of people in my life that have supported me and it would feel very strange to call them one day and say "oh, by the way, I'm married now".

Simple invitations, simple venue, simple catering. No reason it needs to cost more than $2-3k. Everyone gets to meet your spouse if they haven't yet.

 

[poofyhairguy]

A quick google says the average cost of a wedding is $31,213. Thirty grand to get stressed out, to mess up people's work & personal schedules, to have guests show up to eat food they're going to complain about regardless, to rent expensive tuxedos, etc. Even for a small-scale wedding that is say $6,000, why not invest that in something awesome like a home theater so you can start out your wedding in an epic way instead of in debt? It's not that I'm an overly-practical person, because I'm definitely not, but when's the last time you went to a wedding and was like "that was freakin' awesome!" vs. finding a place to eat more food on the way home?

I think value is relative. I know my wedding ending up costing closer to $50k and my FIL never for one second complained. Quite the opposite, our wedding was the way for him to pay back a lifetime of business associates inviting him to their daughter's wedding or some other personal event. He never asked what it cost when it was being planned, his only demand was the dozen or so people who had to be invited. To him the social event was worth the price because he was about to start his own company and it gave him a chance to connect to many of the people that company was going to depend on.

If I was self-financing there is no way I would have done it that big, I was in school then trying to pay for my Master's degree. But weddings are the last vestiges of dowries in America, and some people really want to play into that tradition. The way I see it weddings are the second biggest downside to daughters outside of teen pregnancy.

 

[Jeff7]

So if I married Rosy Palm and her five sisters does that count as polygamy?

Great, now we'll have to have court cases to determine if a hand is legally a person, or I guess just if it can give consent.

A quick google says the average cost of a wedding is $31,213. Thirty grand to get stressed out, to mess up people's work & personal schedules, to have guests show up to eat food they're going to complain about regardless, to rent expensive tuxedos, etc.

Even for a small-scale wedding that is say $6,000, why not invest that in something awesome like a home theater so you can start out your wedding in an epic way instead of in debt? It's not that I'm an overly-practical person, because I'm definitely not, but when's the last time you went to a wedding and was like "that was freakin' awesome!" vs. finding a place to eat more food on the way home?

Wat.

Some long-timers here have probably heard this one...
The cost was well below $100 for my parents back in the 70s. Facility was offered for free (hiking club membership - the meeting hall was available), grandmother took photographs and brought flowers, small group of family and friends, potluck food, mom sewed her own dress.

>35 married years later, the inexpensive wedding doesn't seem to have been a problem.

My mom didn't want a big crowd or a lot of stress, nor to spend a lot of money on a simple ceremony. She didn't want a big ring either; things like that just get in the way, and it's an expensive thing that can get lost.
So that became my baseline for what a wedding would be like.
I don't know that I'll ever acclimate to the idea of thousands just on the wedding itself. Several thousand for the wedding and a honeymoon vacation trip? I could see something like that as being more reasonable, with more of the funding allocated towards the latter part. (I also don't care for crowds of people or big pomp&circumstance ceremonies.)

 

[stlc8tr]

Close to equal pay is the big 'if'.

Yeah, last time I saw the stats, more people got a "bonus" than a "penalty".

(This was a few years ago so recent trends may change the numbers.)

 

[Blackjack200]

I think value is relative. I know my wedding ending up costing closer to $50k and my FIL never for one second complained. Quite the opposite, our wedding was the way for him to pay back a lifetime of business associates inviting him to their daughter's wedding or some other personal event. He never asked what it cost when it was being planned, his only demand was the dozen or so people who had to be invited. To him the social event was worth the price because he was about to start his own company and it gave him a chance to connect to many of the people that company was going to depend on.

If I was self-financing there is no way I would have done it that big, I was in school then trying to pay for my Master's degree. But weddings are the last vestiges of dowries in America, and some people really want to play into that tradition. The way I see it weddings are the second biggest downside to daughters outside of teen pregnancy.

I wonder how much the tradition of the bride's family paying is still a thing. My sister got married, but they decided to have the wedding in Tennessee by his family rather than up in NJ by ours. So I assumed that my dad didn't pay for it, but I also never asked.

Did you ask her father for permission?