WTF is wrong with these Jehovah Witnesses? Long Rant!!

[TheNinja]

Ok, so first of all, I can respect the fact that they are going out and trying to covert and save people (in their minds). --

But honestly, are these people frickin clueless?? They stop by my house 1 Saturday morning and I foolishly answer the door.....foolishly let them drone on for 5 minutes and they give me a bunch of "watchtower" mini-magzine things.

Now, they only come to my house, I can see them drive up to my house anywhere between 9-11am on Saturday and then drive away when I don't answer. I'm a prisoner in my own house on Saturday mornings.

So examples of their cluelessness

1. Me and my family are in our car just pulling out of the driveway....they are coming up our street. They flag me down and start talking! And hand me a pamphlet through the window

2. My kid is making all sorts of noise in our house and our TV is on, they knock on the door and we don't answer.....this has happened at least 5 times

3. I'm just trying to run out to do an errand and they pull up in their car. I say "I'm in a hurry here, sorry, have to go". He says "Ok, but before you go...blah...blah..blah...watchtower" for like 2 minutes!

4. Everytime they ask "did you read that last book I gave you". I say "no, actually I didn't"

How do I get rid of these people? I'm thinking of keeping their pamphlets from the time before, and everytime they give me a new one I'm going to say "SWEET!!! now can I share one of my pamphlets with you?" and give them the old one back.

 

[datalink7]

How do I get rid of these people? I'm thinking of keeping their pamphlets from the time before, and everytime they give me a new one I'm going to say "SWEET!!! now can I share one of my pamphlets with you?" and give them the old one back.

Stop being passive-aggressive? Say "I'm sorry, but I am not interested in what you have to say. Please refrain from contacting me further. Thank you." Is a good place to start, instead of taking their material and hoping they'll "get the hint".

 

[Kanalua]

Usually I just tell them that I'm not interested and have my own religion.

Or move to a Condo with secured entry. Never have to deal with any body knocking on your door...ever...

 

[rudeguy]

Next time just tell them that you are pretty sure the 144,000 slots have been filled and walk away.

P.S.
They aren't Christians, so nobody please make that jump.

 

[totalnoob]

Tell them you aren't interested. Whats so hard about it?

 

[destrekor]

You say "your god is ridiculous. I believe in 10 gods. Now go away before I have one of them strike you down."

 

[destrekor]

Next time just tell them that you are pretty sure the 144,000 slots have been filled and walk away.

P.S.
They aren't Christians, so nobody please make that jump.

They're not "Christian", but they descend from the same foundational base.

 

[AndroidVageta]

Tell them you have decided to start worshiping the more mighty Satan...theyll get scared and leave...it works believe me...

 

[James Bond]

As your attorney I recommend you invite them in next time and start taking shots of whiskey until completely shitfaced.

This may not help your problem but they will feel pretty awkward and that would humor me.

 

[rudeguy]

They're not "Christian", but they descend from the same foundational base.

Ummm no.

They follow a crackpot false prophet and twist the words of the Bible. They are a cult.

 

[rudeguy]

As your attorney I recommend you invite them in next time and start taking shots of whiskey until completely shitfaced.

This may not help your problem but they will feel pretty awkward and that would humor me.

20 bonus nerd points for taping it for us

 

[daw123]

As your attorney I recommend you invite them in next time and start taking shots of whiskey until completely shitfaced.

This may not help your problem but they will feel pretty awkward and that would humor me.

:thumbsup:

 

[destrekor]

Ummm no.

They follow a crackpot false prophet and twist the words of the Bible. They are a cult.

That's just like, your opinion, man.
Biased, at that.

 

[amdhunter]

lol, one of them called me stupid because I told them I was a Muslim. Racist bastards.

 

[HannibalX]

As your attorney I recommend you invite them in next time and start taking shots of whiskey until completely shitfaced.

This may not help your problem but they will feel pretty awkward and that would humor me.

 

[slayer202]

"I am not interested. Please stop coming here"

 

[gaidensensei]

Maybe you could use excerpts or ideas from another church against them. Sometimes I notice saying you are with so and so's church makes hardcore dispatchers leave you alone.

Spend a few sessions at your local Christian church, read some of the teachings of revelation (particularly something in ch 22) about taking things out of the Bible and say it with a straight face. If you don't want to get too involved into church life, try not to give away too much of your info when you go there.

Saying you hail satanism and prefer to be a servant of evil is just going to want to get them to convert you even more, jmo. There's been this stereotyping going around that those who are "radically" changed (mohawks, green hairdo, etc) are those who are really seeking for what the church can offer.

Edit: Oh and yeah, they've probably got you pinned down on their task board "to-do" until you do something that makes them remove your name.

 

[datalink7]

lol, one of them called me stupid because I told them I was a Muslim. Racist bastards.

Muslim is a race?

 

[rudeguy]

Muslim is a race?

he really, really wants to be black. Humor him

 

[bommy261]

tell them to go sell their shit someplace else because we are all stocked up here. heard it in a movie once and it worked.

 

[sandorski]

Give them FSM Tracts.

 

[TheNinja]

I like some of the ideas. I'm trying to think of a fun way to mess with them.

I like the 144,000 idea. I mean surely there have been more than 144,000 JWs that have died and are "saved". I wonder how they feel knowing they are 144,001 and 144,002? Probably feels pretty $hitty to have just missed the cut.

I also missed my chance when they gave me the "alcohol" pamphlet. I should have said "Oh....sweet yo!! I hope this thing has mad awesome recipes in it! You guys want a quick tequila sunrise? bloody mary per chance?"

And know this guy started bringing his son with him....probably Jr.High/Freshman age. And I feel bad for the kid b/c he's going to be a social outcast for his whole life...you can just already tell.

 

[mattpegher]

Tell them that you would love to hear about their beliefs but that you do not believe in the bible, so they need to discuss their theology without reference to the bible. This usually stumps them pretty quick, most are not theologist and are only repeating what they have been told to say. The last time they came to my house I kept stopping them whenever, I felt the statements they said required explanation or translation. They soon got frustrated especially when I asked them their opinion on the Ontological argument as illustrated by St. Thomas Aquinas.

Hey does anyone remember who the letters were to. I thought it was Francis Bacon but I think I am mistaken. They were between Aquinas and one of the leading Atheist of the day.

 

[lxskllr]

I used to work with a hardcore Christian. They came to his door once, and he let them in. He then proceeded to proselytize to them for over an hour. I'd have loved to have been there when that happened :^D

 

[Dumac]

P.S.
They aren't Christians, so nobody please make that jump.

Jehovah's Witnesses are Christian. They believe than Christ is the son of God, and the closest thing to God in human form. They are so big on Jesus, that they believe all the other angels in the Bible are really reference to big J himself.

Just because you don't agree with what they believe doesn't mean you can claim they aren't Christian. Their beliefs are just as logical and likely as yours.