Would you spend the night in Olds' basement to survive

[mmntech]

Here's the scenario. Your car broke down hundreds of miles from civilization. It's getting dark and you can hear hungry wolves howeling. Then you stumble upon Oldsmoboat's shack. He says you can spend the night, and he'll drive you to town next morning. However, you have to spend it in his infamous basement. Your only other option is to be torn apart by starving wildlife. Would you do it?

Caveats
-you can't touch any of the chained up hookers
-all the sweaty, smelly ATOT nerds who pissed him off are wailing down there
-you may have to perform sexual favors

Reward: at home waiting for you is all the hookers, blow, and bulk beef a man could ever want, and also a really hot shower.

 

[blackdogdeek]

how hungry are the starving wildlife?

 

[Brigandier]

If I had to do it, I'd do it with barbecue sauce.

 

[highland145]

Mayo for me.

 

[mmntech]

how hungry are the starving wildlife?

Think Kirsty Ally after she quit Jenny Craig. In other words, very, to put it mildly.

 

[dank69]

If I had to do it, I'd do it with barbecue sauce.

Mayo for me.

This, do I get condiments?

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Am I top or bottom?

 

[Away]

1. Lead hungry wildlife to shack
2. Let hungry wildlife inside of shack
3. ...
4. Profit :awe:

 

[dank69]

Am I top or bottom?

The last rule of Old's basement is:
If this is your first time in Old's basement, you have to catch.

 

[mmntech]

1. Lead hungry wildlife to shack
2. Let hungry wildlife inside of shack
3. ...
4. Profit :awe:

Poor fool. If the hookers can't get out, wolves certainly aren't going to get in.

 

[highland145]

Poor fool. If the hookers can't get out, wolves certainly aren't going to get in.

The Big Bad Wolf is already in. It's his basement.:sneaky:

 

[BoomerD]

Wait...you mean some people need a weird compelling reason to visit the basement? I always thought it was more like going to Disneyland...tons of rides, all with long lines, mediocre food.

 

[arcenite]

I go there so often I've earned free stays on my basement rewards card

 

[Leros]

I've been there once as part of the Lifer initiation process. I am NEVER going back.

 

[Sluggo]

Whenever I find my self-hate to be overwhelming I sign up for a three day pass to Olds' basement, it helps to ground myself.

And in case you didn't know, Olds lets people on the volunteer program post here on his account, its a pretty sweet deal. You just would not believe all the PMs from the "upstanding members," and I use that term in a very broad sense, that send him personal messages requesting his services. I mean basically the whole population of California and a good part of Florida really wants him to violate them.

It almost borders on creepy.

 

[Lotheron]

old's basement is quite popular.

http://forums.anandtech.com/search.php?searchid=837858

 

[marvdmartian]

I've been there once as part of the Lifer initiation process. I am NEVER going back.

Not even for the zombie apocalypse?? 😱