would you let your SO cuddle with a friend of the opposite sex?

Page 6 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Originally posted by: Mandos
Amazing amazing thing... I'm experiencing something like this, I have a friend who I cuddle with quite a bit, play with her hair, ya know, give her massages, its sorta like we are each others SO's except she draws the line, no kissing, no super intamite moments, no touching anywhere ya know... but its just wonderful, It's like having a relationship without the sex or lust, and I quite enjoy it, but she has a fiance and I often wonder how he would feel about it. He lives 6 hours away, and I also have a friend hwom she treats the same way, whenever we are all watching a movie togehter she kinda takes us both, its pretty nice.

I think she only does it so she has some sort of intamacy and keeps herself faithful to her guy so far away, ya know? She is a dear, and its all innocent..

But if I were asked by my SO, I'd probably say no... I am simply not comfortable enough with it, and I havent got high enough self esteem to let it happen...
You are quite obviously gay, so it's not entirely comparable.

 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,534
911
126
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Originally posted by: Mandos
Amazing amazing thing... I'm experiencing something like this, I have a friend who I cuddle with quite a bit, play with her hair, ya know, give her massages, its sorta like we are each others SO's except she draws the line, no kissing, no super intamite moments, no touching anywhere ya know... but its just wonderful, It's like having a relationship without the sex or lust, and I quite enjoy it, but she has a fiance and I often wonder how he would feel about it. He lives 6 hours away, and I also have a friend hwom she treats the same way, whenever we are all watching a movie togehter she kinda takes us both, its pretty nice.

I think she only does it so she has some sort of intamacy and keeps herself faithful to her guy so far away, ya know? She is a dear, and its all innocent..

But if I were asked by my SO, I'd probably say no... I am simply not comfortable enough with it, and I havent got high enough self esteem to let it happen...
You are quite obviously gay, so it's not entirely comparable.

Isn't that what Michael Jackson said?

He lives 6 hours away, and I also have a friend hwom she treats the same way, whenever we are all watching a movie togehter she kinda takes us both, its pretty nice.

If that were my GF/fiance and I caught you doing that you'd be toast and she'd be single again. That is totally inappropriate.
 

GoingUp

Lifer
Jul 31, 2002
16,720
1
71
Why did this thread get bumped? :confused:

In terms of the original question, it would seem that my friend was totally wrong with their opinion. Not that theyd ever admit to being wrong though.
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
If that were my GF/fiance and I caught you doing that you'd be toast and she'd be single again. That is totally inappropriate.
Even though he's gay, would you still dump her? :)
 

GoingUp

Lifer
Jul 31, 2002
16,720
1
71
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
If that were my GF/fiance and I caught you doing that you'd be toast and she'd be single again. That is totally inappropriate.
Even though he's gay, would you still dump her? :)

Skoorbie it is a good thing that Mrs. Skoorb is open to us cuddling :)
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
81
I would think it was strange if he asked me. He doesn't need my permission for that. I wouldn't have a problem with it if it was a non-sexual thing, like an arm around each other watching tv or chatting, or hugging or that sort of thing. He does that sort of thing with my sister and with our friends occasionally. He wouldn't cheat on me, so what's the problem?
Oregon
 

91TTZ

Lifer
Jan 31, 2005
14,374
1
0
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
He wouldn't cheat on me, so what's the problem?
Oregon

Fact 1: EVERYBODY thinks that their SO would never cheat on them. Everyone thinks their marriage will last forever, that's why they give those vows.

Fact 2: Cheating is rampant. Most relationships fail. Most marriages end in divorce.


People are clueless when it comes to predicting what will happen. They let their optimism blind them from reality. They know this stuff happens, but they think it'll never happen to *them*.
 

TheVrolok

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
24,254
4,090
136
Tough question.. everyone 'wants' to say that they wouldn't have a problem with it because it's innocent cuddling, but let's be honest. Opposite sex cuddling is very, very, rarely innocent. I would definitely be VERY uncomfortable with the situation. Now, if I knew the guy, and say he and she were best friends since conception, and I was absolutely secure (yes, I said secure, I'm sure this is partially a security issues) with him I'd allow it. But that situation is unrealistic so no, in all real world examples, no, I wouldn't. PA.
 

AbAbber2k

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2005
6,474
1
0
This should be a no-brainer.
If I caught my SO cuddling with another guy she'd be cut the fvck off.
 

radioouman

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2002
8,632
0
0
Yes. She could cuddle with a member of the opposite sex if she wanted to. She wouldn't even have to ask.
She is my wife, and we are in Ohio, for whatever that means.
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
81
Originally posted by: 91TTZ
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
He wouldn't cheat on me, so what's the problem?
Oregon

Fact 1: EVERYBODY thinks that their SO would never cheat on them. Everyone thinks their marriage will last forever, that's why they give those vows.

Fact 2: Cheating is rampant. Most relationships fail. Most marriages end in divorce.


People are clueless when it comes to predicting what will happen. They let their optimism blind them from reality. They know this stuff happens, but they think it'll never happen to *them*.

1) He has a strong opinion on the subject. His first marriage ended because his wife cheated on him (they were both very young and immature.)
2) Why be paraniod? What good does that accomplish?
3)Why not trust your spouse? Why be in a marriage where you don't trust them?
4)Don't marry someone you don't trust. Put absolute trust in the person you do marry. How hard is that?
5)If you marry someone who is physical by nature (gives hugs, puts arms around friends, etc) why would you expect them to change after marriage? It's ridiculous and immature to make demands on your spouse based on your own paranoia and mistrust.