Would you lend $10,000 dollars to a relative? LAST UPDATE

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
thanks guys for all your advices. I just want to see how others would resolve situations like this and what I could do to relief the pain of handing out money eventhough I'll get it back next year. I do appreciate everyone's input.
!

The odds of you getting it back are low... You really have little recourse if they just refuse to pay it back. You cannot "make them".

Grasshopper

 

[Ender]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
I won't die or have financial problems after lending out the 10K. It just bugs me to lend out my savings to someone I have never seen. As some of you had suggested to write a contact, this won't be a option since my GF considered this as a trust issue(chinese family trust type of thing). Furthermore, there won't be any monthly payment plans, as they agreed to give it all back once the application process completes. This Friday will mark as a sad day for my bank account.

Hey man, I'm Chinese, I need some cash... I'd be insulted if you wanted paperwork, please give me some. Heck, even $500 would be enough to hold me over for awhile, I'll pay you back in two years, honest!!!

Will you lend me $500 based on that?

The same answer should apply to your own situation.

Grasshopper

You're a total stranger, at least the GF's mother's sister is somewhat related. But the situation is still wrong.

 

[rufruf44]

The INS requires a financial proof of ability to pay for their tuition. This usually range about 1-2 years of tuition+room&board+expenditures, thats where the $50K totals to. A financial sponsorship statement usually accompany a financial proof of the availability of this fund. Its not written in any law that the funds must come from a family, although the INS is famous to interpret the law anyway they want to. I also never heard of the term limit on the funds, but this is might be something new that they implement, or simply local practice on the Shanghai/Guangzhou/Chengdu/etc consulate to increase chances of obtaining the F1 visa.

One of the acceptable financial proof usually includes Certificate of Deposit. What I will do is open a Certificate of Deposit with a maturity in 2004, with 40K comes from your GF's family and the other 10K coming from you. I will recommend the CD opened under you and your GF name, you and your GF's mom name. The CD and the financial statement should provide valid existence of financial funds for the purpose of obtaining the F1 visa. After your GF's cousin got the visa, you can revoked the CD and pay a small fine, which I'm sure your GF's family will be willing to pay (you're doing them a service afterall). You might not lost anything at all from your original funds, IIRC the penalty is taken from the interest already accumulated in the CD.
I would double check to ensure that the consulate really needs some proof of a fund that will be available until 2004. Judging from the term (1.5 - 2 years), is he coming for an Undergraduate or Graduate program ? If he's coming for Graduate program, he should have an assistantship lining up (if not, then he's simply a lazy SOB ) and there should not be a problem pulling the funds away after he got his visa).
One thing I would be worried about is the INS SEVIS system that handles security and monitoring on international student. If your GF's cousin doesn't pass that system, he can forget about entering the US in a student visa. The system check can also be very lengthy and could cause significant delay. If he's planning to come for the Spring 2003 semester, he might not make it in time.

 

[yllus]

Christ man, it's your money to decide what to do. Just say "I've thought about this all week, and considering a lot of things with the most important being it's the wealth of my savings, I have to decline making this loan. I'm very sorry and I hope you understand."

Make yourself inaccessible for a couple of days afterwards if you need to. If your girlfriend leaves you over this, then be glad you found out now. Ditto the potential mother-in-law.

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT A WISE DECISION TO MAKE. STAND FIRM, BE A MAN AND DECLINE MAKING THIS LOAN.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: BoberFett
I bet this guy gets the old dumpola within very soon, whether he loans the money or not. Any takers?

I'd put $10 on that...

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek

If your GF needed it and you two were serious and living together and talking about marriage, maybe...

Grasshopper

Well you have hit the nail right on the head! I do apologize for not clearing things up earlier, person asking for this loan/borrowing money is my GF's mom(future mother in law sort of

) in place for her sister. My girlfirend won't be breaking up with me if I dont loan them the money but it'll ruined the relationship with my GF's mom. I do trust my GF's mom, as she had always treated me like her own son. Basically, this money will get me into a lot of trouble at the end no matter what I do. God help me.

--Scsi

Scsi, I posted that without really reading what the whole thing was about...

DON'T DO IT. If your GF's mom doesn't like you for this, she is not a nice person to begin with.

YOU CANNOT BUY HER, this is throwing money away. Send it to me, at least I'll say thanks...

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
actually, the total required amount for the visa is $50,000 in the bank, showing INS they could support their son's education. I was told they came up with $40,000 with all possible means of loans and credit debts. They are at their last resort to ask me for this loan .
--scsi

Then they are out of luck...

This is unacceptable and shows what kind of people they are...

They should not be asking in the first place, they are WAY OUT OF LINE.

You are a fool if you do this.

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek

Originally posted by: Emos
Just curious SCSI, what do your parents think of this?

They don't know about this else all hell will break loose!!! and I'm not planning on telling them cause I aint openning that can of worms.

For the good of SCSIfreek, we need to find a way to contact his parents so they can stop him. He is making one of the biggest mistakes of his life by doing this...

Anyone know who SCSI really is? Anyone know his parents? He is thinking with the wrong head, and he is going to blow his savings and get nothing but years of heartache in return. We need an intervention to stop him...

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
thanks for the advice. I know exactly what everyone thinks. I'll try my best to avoid lending it out. I'll update as we progress into Thursday.
Anyone here ever did a Student VISA? please speak up.

It does not matter what it takes to get a Student VISA. DO NOT GIVE AWAY YOUR MONEY!!!

Don't "try your best". Just say no... Pretend they are offering you drugs, JUST SAY NO!!!!!

Don't get into it, don't give reasons, don't explain. JUST SAY NO!!!!

If you lack the backbone to say no, then you deserve to lose this money. All I ask is that you send it to an AT member instead, at least you'll be well liked here for it.

Grasshopper

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: eakers
DON'T DO IT.

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
if I dont loan them the money but it'll ruined the relationship with my GF's mom.

Then the relationship with her mom isn't as good as you think it is. If she is going to let money come between your relationship, then she will always be forcing you to jump through hoops to keep your relationship up with her. Forget it. Just the fact that they are making you do this shows what kind of people they are and what kind of a person you are.

 

[mchammer187]

dont do it

but if you do than get a lawyer to handle it

or you will be sorry

 

"My GF's Mom's younger sister, needs $10,000(US dollars) applying for a student visa(for her son). Need the cash immediately to show they could support their son's education. The money needs to stay in their account til July, 2004. I have the money but cashing it out and handing it to someone just kills me

What would you do?"

Hell no! The lesson I have learned from watching court cases and from my personal experience is, you should never lend a relative money. You either offer it as a gift or you don't give it at all. Lending to family members is a joke; not to speak of lending such huge sum. If you do decide to lend her that amount, be prepared never to see it again. Cut your losses. Unfortunately, relatives don't take things seriously when it isn't some outsider or a legal document. At least write a legal document, as suggested by Mchammber! Not that legal documents would help you recover all of your money if she's dead broke and has no property to yield the sum of $10,000. . . .

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
thanks for the advice. I know exactly what everyone thinks. I'll try my best to avoid lending it out. I'll update as we progress into Thursday.
Anyone here ever did a Student VISA? please speak up.


--Scsi

Have you even tried to validate the story? You can call any school to see what's involed.

 

[ndee]

I've never seen a thread where 100% of the posters agree with each other


DON'T DO IT!

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: ndee
I've never seen a thread where 100% of the posters agree with each other


DON'T DO IT!

Neither have I - and this is a long thread.

thanks for the advice. I know exactly what everyone thinks. I'll try my best to avoid lending it out. I'll update as we progress into Thursday.
Anyone here ever did a Student VISA? please speak up.

No you won't try your best. You'd decided to lend it before you even started the thread, hoping that your great misgivings would be calmed, and yet now you come in and see that you had misgivings for a reason. I'm also unsure as to why you started a thread asking for advice that you never had any intentions of listening to. You're being played by a fool by the family - including your girlfriend for allowing this to go on. Everybody here can see it, and I bet you can to. You're just hoping beyond all hopes that this works out. Well the reality of it is it probably won't work out. You won't be getting that money back any time soon. If your relationship with the gf and her family hinges upon you giving up, contract-free, $10k of your own money, you're a damned fool. I know that you agree because you're not an idiot. Why don't you prove it to yourself by doing the right thing?

Personally I'll be surprised if, come friday night, your bank account isn't short the $10k. I hope you have a nice going away party for it because it won't be coming home again.

 

[starwarsdad]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
my GF want to do it since her aunty is fairly close to her. Its gonna be a mess if I don't write that check. I don't want to ruined our relationship over something like this...

Dude, how old are you and your girlfriend? No one that really loved you would put you in this kind of position and just expect you to do this. $10000 is a lot of money by most standards (If not by yours then send it to me!).

 

[doneedlove]

Don't do it unless you can have a lawyer advice what you should do and ask her to sign the contract. 10 grand is no cheappy.. you won't find this on the tree if you even claim up that high.. damm.. don't do it man.. i got screw over letting a friend borrow only $500 bucks.. he forgot after couple of year. I have no prove that he borrow it so i'm screw. But becareful this is a chunk of money not that cheap.

Doneedlove

 

[starwarsdad]

Now that I have read the whole thread, I have one question.

What the hell does the family being Asian have to do with Jack Sh!t?


Tell them to trust this...... (grabs crotch for effect) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man do NOT do this. I thought I was pussy whipped when I was a kid, but DAMN.

 

[eakers]

and if you do get the money back they are going to expect you to loan out money again and again to other relatives.

just don't. it seems to me you already have a bad feeling about it because if you knew that this was on the level you wouldn't have started a thread about it.

look out for yourself and your family, you worked hard for your money and you have no responsibilty to them at all.

 

[ys]

I was an international student(F-1 VISA) and I only needed to prove that I have sufficient fund for a year. An internet search proved my memory isn't bad.

Link1

you must prove that you have enough readily available funds to meet all expenses for the first year of study, and that adequate funds will be available for each subsequent year of study. If you are applying for an M-1 visa, you must have evidence that sufficient funds are immediately available to pay all tuition and living costs for the entire period of your intended stay.

Example, Penn State requires $34,000 top.

The amount for which you are required to provide proof of funds can range from $25,000 to $34,000 depending on location, program, and year of study.

So I guess he's coming here with either a M-1 VISA or going to a really expensive school...

 

[tantos]

Being Asian doesn't make this scenario any better. If you feel obligated to lend 10K because they are chinese and so so then you're going to live forever indebted to the asian way!
Kiss your indepenence goodbye because they own you already.

You say you feel obligated yet in asian cultures, to borrow money from strangers is looked down upon. I mean asian cultures is all about saving face and to say that your gf's family would
not like you for not lending them money but at the same time they are asking a stranger is contradictory on your part.

But then again, you were going to lend it anyways so why even bother asking our opinion.. Just don't come back here and bitch about not getting it back because frankly no one will care.

 

[CJZ]

DON'T DO IT

DON'T DO IT

DON'T DO IT

The kid who needs the money is not your relative. Even if he was your relative, it would have to be a close relative who you trust. If he screw's you over will your GF's mom pay you the money back?

 

[ultimatebob]

This entire thread can be condensed to a single Ben Franklin quotation:

"A fool and his money are soon parted"

Oh well, I guess that some people just need to learn the hard way.

 

[Mister T]

how old are you?