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Would you be able to handle having a child with a disablility?

S

SpiderX

Golden Member
I work at a kids park. Throughout the day I see lots of kids with disabilities. Ranging from Autism to Downs to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. We have a lot of regulars that bring their kids as well. And most of these kids are awesome. My favourite is Danielle, she's autistic. She's pretty lucent and talks a lot. She loves to ride the train. And she's 13 and her hormones are taking over. It's pretty funny.

Her parents are awesome. They have a great sense of humour and work hard to keep things as normal as possible. They don't baby her or anything. Danielle didn't sleep in her own bed until 3 years ago. Her parents never slept in the same bed for 10 years. Amazing. The thing with having a child with a disability is that they have to be stimulated 24/7. Danielle can't just sit still. She always has to be doing something.

But with all that being said, after seeing these kids day in and day out, I don't really think I could handle having one. I'm not saying I'd turn to abortion or adoption necessarily, I just don't know if I'm strong enough to do it. I have the utmost respect for those parents that do. They are true heroes in my eyes. And you can always tell how much they love their kids, even when the kids are freaking out, running around or smashing a plate glass window with their forehead. ( Danielle did this)

Could you?

Cliff Notes:
After working with kids with disabilities all day, I don't think I'm a strong enough person to deal with one 24/7.

Would you be able to do it?
 
Originally posted by: Metalloid
When I have children I will love them unconditionally.
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Although I believe I would too, I am happy however that I have 2 healthy children which I would not know what to do without
 
I doubt I'd be able to handle a mentally disabled child although blindness or deafness I think I could handle...
 
I'm of the belief that if I know my kid will be severely disabled, I'd opt for an abortion. (However, I'm a guy and know that it's not my decision that carries the most weight..)
 
I have a disabled girl with Rett's Syndrome. She's 13 years old and has the mentality of a one year old. You go through various stages of shock when you hear the news that there is something wrong with your child. But eventually you get used to it. We have a support group that we go to every couple of months and we meet other people with the same problem. I think we're fairly fortunate that our girl isn't as severely handicapped as the other kids.
Anyways, to answer your question I don't think anyone is prepared to handle a child with a disability. But given time the parent either get used to it or they simply get divorced and give the child away to the state.
 
What gets me are parentrs who hold their children back. I know this one guy with epilepsy. Very mild seizures. His parents won't let him live. They have him thinking he's a cripple. 22 years old and he isn't allowed to have a bank account, bathe by himself, or even pick his own doctors. College? Forget it, he's too crippled.

He could do anything, be anybody, and he's stuck believing the lies they tell him. They have said that once they die, he will probably have to go to a home.
 
It's not something you get offered a choice about,things happen and then you cope.
 
My kid is my kid first and disabled second. So he can't really walk and he gets hurt all the time and I'm best friends with the emergency room gang, big deal. He's a cool guy with a wild sense of humor.

No kid can do everything. Part of growing up is learning that. Disabled kids learn that lesson earlier, that's all.

There are lots of parents of "normal" kids who can't handle the job either.
 
Originally posted by: Azraele
What gets me are parentrs who hold their children back. I know this one guy with epilepsy. Very mild seizures. His parents won't let him live. They have him thinking he's a cripple. 22 years old and he isn't allowed to have a bank account, bathe by himself, or even pick his own doctors. College? Forget it, he's too crippled.

He could do anything, be anybody, and he's stuck believing the lies they tell him. They have said that once they die, he will probably have to go to a home.
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There is a kid at the park whose parents are like that. He's autistic, but he's socialable and pretty well mannered. His Mom was told by the school that they felt he was strong enough to be put in a normal class, but his Mom said no. It's sad. She babies him to the point of no end. He always has to hold her hand. She never leaves him alone for a minute. The sad thing is that her other son is "normal" and they treat him the same way. He's going to be a hellraiser when he starts to rebel for being held back.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
It's not something you get offered a choice about,things happen and then you cope.
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I know. I just have the utmost respect for these parents. I admire them so much. I've been working with disabled kids for years now. Whether it was teaching swimming lessons or playing with them at the park. It's just that after all this, I still don't know if I would be a strong enough person to cope with it all. And that makes me sad.

 
Originally posted by: pyonir
I'm not having kids so the point is null and void.
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Is that voluntary or involuntary? I had a teacher in high school who kept telling us she didn't want kids but it was pretty obvious why. She was old, never married, and physically unappealing.

I personally wouldn't be able to handle a child with a disability.
I would feel terrible for the child ... having to go to school, dealing with his/her peers, etc.
 
my cousin has a mental disability and sometimes i don't know how my aunt and uncle handled it. he's 21 now, but i've seen some of the problems they've had with him. as of now i don't think i could, but i don't plan on having kids until i'm ready for it anyway.
 
Of course.
It's amazing what people can "handle" when the need arises.
There is no way I could do anything other than handle it.
 
My little brother has CP, when we adopted him as an infant we and the agency had no idea he had CP... the agency offered to "exchange" him but my parents turned the offer down...

He's 13 or 14 now with no possiblity of ever walking, talking, living life... such a smart kid too... I wouldnt really know much about raising him as I was only around everyother weekend but im sure its been tough on 'em... I personally have sworn to never have children of my own so I really dont have to wonder if I can handle raising a child such as my brother....
 
I don't think so. I had a parent with a disability from the time I was age 7 to 17. I don't think I could handle any more of that.
 
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